The recent Doobie Brothers concert held at the Troutdale Riverside Amphitheater was the worst thing I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of things, too. Things that would make you puke. I went to 'Nam. Enough said.

I love the Doobs. I loved them even when that traitor Michael McDonald left the band. That son of a bad word didn't do anything worth nothing after he left. He should've offed himself after recording "What a Fool Believes," because there will never—NEVER—be another recorded song that is better than that one. I will kill the man who says otherwise.

So this Doobie Brothers concert was crap, son. Yeah, I guess they played some of the "classics" if you want to call them that. But where was the magic of their 1975 gig at the Cincinnati Riverfront Coliseum? Man, that was a stone cold gas. I was so high on acid, I made love to the sun, man. I MADE LOVE TO THE SUN!!!

Now? I don't even recognize half the members. Just a bunch of old, ugly bastards croaking half-forgotten songs to a crowd that wouldn't know music if it was dressed in a rice paddy hat and just a creeping through the reeds, just waiting to get the drop on some wet-behind-the-ears newbie just off the plane from Iowa and still cryin' for his... GET DOWN!! I said, GET... DOWN!! DUNG LAI! DUNG LAI!! BADABADABADABADABADAAAAA!! DIE!! DIE!!! DIEEEEE YOU YELLOW STINKING COMMIEEEEEEEEEEES!!

And they didn't play "China Grove" neither.