Fronted by Portland's Former Best-Known Stripper (pre-Malice) and sometime Mercury contributor Viva Las Vegas, Coco Cobra and the Killers are out of hiding, having reintroduced their slut rock at a handful of recent shows. Miss 'em no more. MS

w/Stumblebum; Kelly's Olympian, 426 SW Washington, 10 pm, $4

Bartenders from Portland's trendiest spots stir, shake, and muddle in the Iron Bartender Competition, a battle for cocktail supremacy judged by legendary mixologist Lucy Brennan. You won't feel left out—the audience gets a chance to taste and judge as well. Proceeds go to benefit the Children's Relief Nursery: inebriation for a good cause! PAC

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Jupiter Hotel, 800 E Burnside, 5:30 pm, $50

He's got a rough red beard and a rough red voice, and at only 27, Marc Broussard's latest soul- and R&B-influenced album is expected to deliver on the promise he's been showing since performing "Johnny B. Goode" onstage with his father's band at age five. MD

w/Jessie Baylin, Josh Hoge; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 7:30 pm, $18-20, all ages


Good lord. Thirty bands in three days? Do you people ever sleep? The best vowel-free music festival in town, Dmmr Bmmr, crams 10 bands per night, all weekend long, into the intimate confines of East End. Our recommendations: the reckless rock of Eat Skull on Friday, the Mean Jeans' goofy charismatic basement punk on Saturday, and bare-bones howl of Hairspray Blues on Sunday. Or just see 'em all and forgo sleep. EAC

East End, 203 SE Grand, 5 pm, $10 per night, through Sun Jan 25

If you haven't yet been out to the freshest incarnation of Disjecta, tonight's the night to do it: The multipurpose arts center celebrates the opening of their new performance space with music from Sonny Smith and the Evolutionary Jass Band. AH

w/the Sandwitches; Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, 8 pm, $7

There's not much going on in town this month, which is why now's the perfect time for Fertile Ground, a citywide festival of new plays (including a new installment of the ever-popular Fall of the House). The fecundity commences tonight with a dance party at Backspace, featuring bands with theatrical affiliations. AH

w/Iretsu, Henry Dark, DJ Freaky Outty; Backspace, 115 NW 5th, 9 pm, $5, all ages, for more info


Jonathan Coulton's name is usually attached to the phrase "internet sensation," and for good reason—he might not be a household name, but he's used the web to assemble a legion of obsessive fans who know genius when they hear it. From his "Thing a Week" song series to his gigs with author John Hodgman to his hits like white-collar zombie ballad "RE: Your Brains," Coulton's geeky folk is hilarious, sweet, sad, and catchy. EH

w/Paul & Storm; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $22-24, all ages

Fucking A, Alien is great. Director Ridley Scott's 1979 horror/sci-fi flick hatched three sequels (including James Cameron's Aliens), but it's still damn hard to top the original—a masterpiece of smart suspense, ominous atmosphere, cynical sci-fi, and splattery gore. Plus, tonight's screening is part of the Supertrash series, which means it's preceded by classic trailers, cartoons, and music videos. EH

Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 11 pm, $3

Hankering for some roughneck, elbow-throwing roller derby action? Then do not miss the season four opening bout featuring the Rose City Rollers! Portland's top four teams (Break Neck Betties, Guns N' Rollers, Heartless Heathers, and the High Rollers) battle it out on the track to see who will be the queens of PDX! WSH

Expo Center, Hall C, 2060 N Marine Drive, 6 pm, $14-25


The Crystal Ballroom turns 95 tonight and the party starts in the afternoon with jams from the Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls and keeps on keeping on with bluegrass and other related musical things until Blitzen Trapper takes the stage at 10:30 pm. Oh, and it's all free. LS

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 1:30 pm-midnight, FREE, all ages

Lightning and Thunder are a Milwaukee couple who perform the songs of Neil Diamond and Patsy Cline, and Song Sung Blue is a documentary that follows the pair through touching ups and downs. Part of NW Film Center's ongoing Reel Music film festival. NL

Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park, 7 pm, $8

Here's a unique collision of genres, proving that music is often best when it defies expectations. The Ahs pair cello and banjo for spare, haunting classical folk, and FourScore is a "classical manband" that runs the gamut from gospel to lieder to oratorio. Members of the Portland Cello Project will also be on hand, as will the female chorale Roxy Consort, for a night of beautiful sounds that won't cause your ears to ring the next day. NL

w/Carmina Burana; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 8 pm, $10


Gena Gastaldi, head lioness of Day of Lions, has one of those inescapable voices that haunt you for days on end. Don't even think about fighting it—after taking in her band's tempered and delicate sound, you might as well be a lifelong fan. Just as tantalizing are openers Le Switch, whose fake French name fails to distract from a wildly inventive band armed with an arsenal of masterfully penned pop songs. EAC

w/the Days; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $6

Booze works way better than one of those SAD lights for the winter blues. So cheer up with the Oregon Bartenders Guild as they present Hot Winter Nights, a night of hot cocktails both classic and innovative, along with delicious desserts from Bluehour. PAC

Bluehour, 250 NW 13th, 7:30 pm, $30

Catapulted to worldwide fame thanks to her bisexually leaning song "I Kissed a Girl," Katy Perry is doing a fairly good job staying out of the one-hit wonder bin. Scam a sold-out ticket, because from what we understand she likes to dress up as fruit onstage! Fruit making out with fruit. Mmmmm.... WSH

w/the Daylights; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, all ages, (sold out—scam for tickets)


No, they're not an Eagles cover band (thank Christ). Department of Eagles is the once and future project of Grizzly Bear's Daniel Rossen and his college roommate, and they combine sunshiny Beach Boys pop with the ghostly sounds of forgotten 78s for a truly breathtaking sound that'll ruffle your feathers. NL

w/the Cave Singers; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12.50-14

Adele's voice is deep and sweet and great, which is exactly why tonight's show at the Wonder Ballroom is sold out. Find a friend with good taste and foresight, or get Craigslisting, but don't miss this show. LS

w/James Morrison; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8 pm, all ages, (sold out—scam for tickets)

What's in the Holy Trinity of Creole cooking? If you know the answer, pit your knowledge against other foodies at Pix's gastronomical trivia night. Hosted by tranny performance group CJ and the Dolls. PAC

Pix Patisserie North, 3901 N Williams, 7 pm, $2/person, all ages


I'm not one for Sunday service, but if Church's brothers in arms, Brandon and Richard Laws, were leading the congregation you can bet I'd be up front dressed in my finest. The brothers' reverent and understated musical loveliness will be in full swing as their songs float around Holocene's sacred altar. Also catch openers Chrome Wings and Guidance Counselor who'll be preaching to the choir (that's you!). CF

Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $5

Mississippi Studios has been shuttered for renovations since summer and doesn't officially reopen 'til next month, but tonight you can get a sneak peak at its resurrection at the Loggernaut Reading Series, which features the accessible poetic stylings of Zachary Schomberg and a reading from Peter Fogtdal, author of The Tsar's Dwarf. AH

w/Matthew Korfhage; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 7:30 pm, $3

Ah, the Bobcats. They may be co-owned by Michael Jordan, but they still suck... which means the Blazers might even beat 'em. Go, Bobcats! MD

Rose Garden, 1 Center Ct, 7 pm, $10 & up