COMEDY—Nick Kroll is the kind of comic who seems simultaneously adorable and capable of feasting on the intestines of children. Which is to say, his cuteness barely masks a razor-sharp edge that results in some of the same gut-busting laughs he gets on FXX's The League and Comedy Central's Kroll Show. Get him before he gets you. WSH
w/Anthony Lopez; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $25

MUSIC—Lupe Fiasco is at his best when speaking his mind. With honed anti-government screeds and scalding exhortations to his community, Lupe's leapt from merely very-talented emcee to compelling artist. So it's worrying that Fiasco says his upcoming release, Tetsuo & Youth, will scale the message back in favor of a good time. Go see him anyway. You might learn something. DVH
w/Stalley, Illmaculate; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $30-50, all ages


COMEDY—The Ladies Man, Tim Meadows, is bringing his smooth-ass self to Portland. The long-standing SNL comedian is a funny, laidback dude who does a lot of improv comedy, but now's your chance to see him in the intimate confines of Helium, as he throws down a mean set of stand-up. CF
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $18-28

MUSICStreet Roots is trying to raise a bunch of money to go weekly, and hook up its army of friendly newspaper vendors with twice the dough from sales. So here's a great way for you to help them remain a strong voice in city hall for the houseless: a benefit show, jammed with local musical giants like Todd Snider, Scott McCaughey, and Chris Funk. DCT
Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta, 8 pm, $35, all ages


BASKETBALL—People still wince when remembering Michael Jordan coming to Portland in the early '90s, raining threes and shrugging. Jordan's long gone, but a Blazers vs. Bulls matchup still feels important. Sure, Derrick Rose is nowhere near 100 percent and the rest of the Chicago team is playing like crap, but that doesn't mean you don't step on their necks when offered. Jordan would. BR
Moda Center, 1 Center Court, 7 pm, $24-255

MUSIC—The music of Minneapolis' electro-soul-pop outfit Poliça is sexy, to be sure, but there's a hint of darkness in their infectious tunes of love and heartache—an element of mystery that's crucial for keeping things exciting in the bedroom. Opening act Marijuana Deathsquads offer something even more sinister and mind-warping. NL
Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $16-18, all ages


FILM—1982 was an amazing year for film, and among classics like E.T. and Blade Runner stands the melancholy The Last Unicorn. Author and screenwriter Peter S. Beagle is personally bringing a newly restored digital print of this quiet treasure to the Hollywood, and will answer questions, sign your stuff, and maybe even sing along with the film's wood-paneled, AM gold theme song. BR
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Sat 2 pm, Sun 7 & 9:30 pm, $8

MUSIC—Quasi's appearance tonight isn't just to support the new double album Mole City—it's Sam Coomes and Janet Weiss' 20th anniversary as a band (!!). The shambling, semi lo-fi cool you've come to expect is right where it's always been, even after all these years. MS
w/Blues Control; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $15-17


SOCCER—A wildly successful Portland Timbers season culminates tonight, in what is the most-important match of the team's short Major League Soccer career. If the Timbers can find a way to beat despised, talented Real Salt Lake by three goals, they'll have a shot at becoming league champions. If not, well, it was a hell of a season. DVH
Jeld-Wen Field, 1844 SW Morrison, 6 pm, find a scalper or watch ESPN

EAR CANDY—It's time for the second installment of the Mercury's new Ear Candy music series! Along with the good folks at Mississippi Studios, we've picked two hot new Portland bands to play a free show just for you, and this month we've picked two terrific bands with singing drummers: the cavernous fuzz punk of Still Caves, and the jigsaw-puzzle rock of Night Mechanic! NL
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, FREE


MUSIC—Howe Gelb is one prolific fella. Throughout his nearly 30-year career, he's played with his band Giant Sand, solo, and with a clutch of talented musicians. The Americana legend collaborated with Bonnie "Prince" Billy, KT Tunstall, and M. Ward on his new solo record The Coincidentalist. Don't miss him! CF
w/Houndstooth; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 8 pm, $13-15

FILM—After winning the Palme d'Or at Cannes and suffering (or benefiting) from plenty of controversy, the French coming-of-age film Blue Is the Warmest Color finally arrives in Portland. Come for the lesbian sex! Stay for what is, by nearly all accounts, one of the best films of the year. EH
Various Theaters, see review and for showtimes


FILM—The Hollywood's Grindhouse Film Festival has lined up two rare 35mm flicks for their Killer Creature Double Feature: First it's Q: The Winged Serpent (1982), in which David Carradine and Richard Roundtree battle a giant flying dragon terrorizing NYC, followed by the John Sayles-penned Alligator (1980), which brims with gator-chompin' gore AND social satire (a well-known deadly combination). WSH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Q at 7:30 pm, Alligator at 9:15 pm, $8 for both

BOOKS—To celebrate The Best of McSweeney's collection—which, in turn, celebrates the first 15 years of the fantastic, inventive, charming quarterly—Powell's is hosting author Jess Walter (Beautiful Ruins), filmmaker and writer Arthur Bradford (Dogwalker), AND McSweeney's Managing Editor Jordan Bass. This will be fun and great. EH
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE