BASKETBALL—The Portland Trail Blazers have a nice record, a nicer offense, and loads of confidence. Cue the naysayers claiming this is due to weak scheduling and creampuff opponents. Cue Blazers vs. Oklahoma City Thunder, a contest that's as good as any to see if the squad has an extra gear or two available. BR
Moda Center, 1 Center Court, 7 pm, $24-97

MUSIC—ALL HAIL OUR NEW POP QUEEN. Seventeen-year-old New Zealander Lorde put out one of the best albums of the year—the hazily dark, cleverly sharp, and sickeningly addictive Pure Heroine—and now she's playing an early evening show at the Crystal. Show up, listen, and pledge your loyalty. EH
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 5 pm, $20, all ages


STORIES—Beloved storytelling series the Moth has raided its stables in New York and LA to bring some of its finest raconteurs to PDX. Or so we assume. No lineup's been announced, and you make inferences from the show's title—"Don't Look Back"—at your own peril. But this is the Moth. It's going to be good. DVH
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $20-72.50

COMEDY—Sure, Rob Delaney is the funniest person on Twitter, but how does that translate to real, live stand-up comedy? Pretty well, it turns out—Delaney's sharp, blue, and rather handsome, and he's got a rare knack for making hilariously graphic sex jokes without sounding like a creep. AH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $25


COMEDY—Consistently some of the funniest experiences in Portland, the sketch comedy shows from the 3rd Floor don't happen nearly often enough. Then again, quality vs. quantity, etc. Their latest is called Sketch Comedy Show, because, as they note, "that's what it is." EH
Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, through Sat Dec 21, $14-17

LAST DANCE—All good—and fantastic—things must come to an end, and so we bid a fond farewell to Portland's longest-running dance night, Shut Up and Dance. A master at inspiring booties to shake, DJ Gregarious is putting this particular evening to rest (though you'll still be seeing his terrific turntablism all over town). So come out and give him a proper sendoff! WSH
Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 9 pm, $5


ROLLER DERBY—Welcome to the hit parade! The roller derby teams of Portland's Rose City Rollers take on their rivals to the north, the booty babes of Seattle's Rat City. It'll be four knockout, drag-down mini-games at the Memorial Coliseum, filled with cheers, jeers, epic hits, and dizzying-fast roller skating. Go Portland! CF
Memorial Coliseum, 300 Winning Way, 5:45 pm, $14-20

COMEDY—If you missed last year's Very Special Action/Adventure Holiday Thing, it was an entertainment extravaganza. Don't make the same mistake twice! Get plenty of musical ho-ho-hos with comedians Bri Pruett and David Saffert, AND stick around for another installment of Late Night Action with Alex Falcone (AKA one of the best live talk shows in town). WSH
Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton, Holiday Thing, Fri & Sat 8 pm, through Dec 14, $10; Late Night Action, Sat 10 pm, $8


SOUL—If you haven't seen Portland's original soul man Ural Thomas and his crackin' new backing band the Pain yet, well, what are you waiting for? This is simply one of the best live shows around, a joyous, uplifting dance party of classic R&B and moving soul. Thomas and the Pain perform for free at Rontoms tonight. Get there early. It's gonna be one hell of a party. NL
w/Y La Bamba; Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE

HOLIDAY SPIRITS—The holidays, with parties every other night, are a functional alcoholic's holy season. Which makes BarFly's Xmas Extravaganza something like High Mass on Christmas Eve. Sit on Santa's lap! Drink cheap (but not cheaply made) beer and vodka. Dance to music by DJ Meow! Toss your cookies the next morning in a milky-white toilet bowl! It's tradition! DCT
Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 8 pm, FREE, 21+


STORYTELLING—Oh boy, has Back Fence PDX got a story for you. The storytelling show is celebrating their 5.5-year anniversary with a special cheap-o show filled with excellent storytellers, like former mayoral candidate Jefferson Smith, funny lady Shelley McLendon, and comedian Lauren Weedman. Thanks for the anniversary present, Back Fence! CF
Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 NW 11th, 8 pm, $5, 21+

COMEDY—Emily Heller deserves to be the patron saint of funny glasses-wearing ladies everywhere: An up-and-comer who's well on her way to being a household name (in households that know their comedy), she's whip-smart and hilarious, and tonight she headlines the reliably excellent stand-up showcase Funny Over Everything alongside top-notch local comics Shane Torres, Bri Pruett, Amy Miller, and more. AH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 8 pm, $10


SOCIAL JUSTICE—Nonprofit p:ear valiantly takes on one of the most thankless—and important—jobs in the social services spectrum: working with homeless youth, annually helping hundreds. Head to Holocene for a fundraiser where bands will play and filmmakers will screen Snapshot, a collection of mini-documentaries about real life on the streets. DCT
w/Kelli Schaefer, Novosti, Tre Burt and a Big Gust of Wind; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $7

MUSIC—The glowing, gratifying pop of Phoenix is best heard in a crowded room at full volume; luckily, we'll get the chance, as the French band is performing as part of 94.7's December to Remember concert series. They'll play tunes from their fine 2013 album Bankrupt! and older favorites. (This one's already sold out, so you'll want to hit up Craigslist or the touts on the pavement.) NL
w/Dresses; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, hunt hard for tix, all ages