Renowned choreographer Trey McIntyre has wowed critics and audiences with his contemporary, inventive departures from classical ballet. The Trey McIntyre Project's new work (serious), commissioned by White Bird, will be performed along with pieces set to music by Peter, Paul, and Mary and the Beatles. This is way more thrilling than your average ballet. KP

Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, Thurs & Fri 7:30 pm, $20-50

Portland's biggest problem? Not enough Madonna cover bands! Happily, that problem is resolved tonight at Madonnathon (benefiting In Other Words bookstore), wherein a pantsload of local acts (including CJ and the Dolls, Mike Pardew, Felina's Arrow, and more) perform songs by her Madgesty. Plus you can participate in a Madonna costume contest! (Where can I get one of them pointy bras?) WSH

Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7 pm, $8, all ages

Sugar daddies: Need one? Are one? Date and Dash is a speed-dating event for creepy, 35- to 45-year-old "financially stable" men to find a special 21- to 33-year-old "woman to spoil and to treat like the princess she is." Not exactly a modern, feminist take on romance, but these economic times are tough on some and not on others, so why not balance it out a bit? KP

Mint/820, 816 N Russell, 8:30 pm, $35 for gentlemen, $1 for ladies


Mic-spitting emcee Braille spends the majority of the year sharing his spiritual rhymes the world over, and tonight he celebrates the release of CloudNineteen, a brand-new collaboration with producer S1. Vursatyl from Lifesavas will be hosting, Ohmega Watts and Rev. Shines will be on the decks, and just about every hiphop personality in town will be making an appearance. EAC

w/DJ FlipFlop, Sapient, Terminill, Andy B, Ragen Fykes, Lightheaded, Theory Hazit, & more; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $8-10, all ages

We know how much you love the effortlessly catchy indie rock of French Kicks, but don't overlook the openers. Absolutely do not miss the heartbreakingly excellent songs of A.A. Bondy, or the sun-drenched California classic vibe of the Broken West. Tonight won't have a single dull moment. NL

Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12

Hey, Vern! After an inexcusable absence of 11 years, Ernest P. Worrell is finally back with his latest adventure, The Importance of Being Earnest! Details are scant, but the rumor is that this time around, Ernest finds himself in Victorian England for a sidesplitting comedy of manners! Oh, Ernest! What hijinks will you get into this time?! EH

Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 NW 11th, 445-3700, Tues-Sun 7:30 pm (plus Sun 2 pm), through March 29, $28.50-65


Mardi Gras was a few short days ago, but it's never too late for Carnaval! In Rio, they do religious holidays so very, very right: sexy costumes, sexy dancing, sexy music. Carnaval Brasileiro brings all this crazy heat to our Portland winter, so don't even think about being a wallflower—you're not going to be able to keep still for one hot minute. NL

w/Grupo Saveiro, Lions of Batucada; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $20-25

Rose City Rollers' move to "more intimate" digs at Oaks Park has been scientifically shown to increase your chance of getting hit in the face with a hot racer's blood, sweat, or sequins by 137 percent. Do not miss this golden opportunity! SM

Guns N Rollers vs. High Rollers, the Hangar at Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way, 5:45 pm, $12

Now is the perfect time for a clam chowder challenge. The weather's cool enough to enjoy the New England specialty and the cooks are grumpy enough to want to kill each other. Judged by local "celebrities"—including yours truly—it's the perfect opportunity to drink beer, slurp chowdah, and while away another day before spring. PAC

Fifth Quadrant, 3901B N Williams, noon-6 pm, $10 donated to Locks of Love, all ages


Congratulations, Dirty Mittens, you are three years old! No better way to celebrate your third year of delectable pop than a totally free show with another of Portland's finest indie outfits, the only-holy-in-name Church. Be sure to buy the band a round, but not too much; after all, they're only three. EAC

Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE

This weekend, businesses, studios, and residences fill their homes with art and then invite you to snoop the work of more than 100 local artists. Just, you know, stay out of the medicine cabinets. AH

between Hawthorne & Powell, from SE 9th to SE 41st, Sat-Sun 10 am-5 pm, FREE, for more info

Tonight vocally blessed singer/songwriter Martha Wainwright brings her soaring pipes and romantic woes to the Doug Fir for a night of torchy ballads from last year's aptly titled I Know You're Married but I've Got Feelings Too. MV

w/Rebecca Gates; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12-14


A collaboration between musicians Sam "Squeak E. Clean" Spiegel and Ze "DJ Zegon" Gonzales, N.A.S.A.'s debut, The Spirit of Apollo, snagged guest spots from the likes of Tom Waits, Karen O, Fatlip, M.I.A., and David Byrne. It's easy to see why: N.A.S.A.'s blend of hiphop, funk, and rock is smart, inventive, and even makes me want to dance. (And I never dance.) EH

w/Copy, DJ Hostile Tapeover; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $8

A brainy French flick about a white teacher's relationship with his classroom of ethnically diverse students, The Class is challenging, complex, and way less like Dangerous Minds than it sounds. AH

Fox Tower 10, 846 SW Park,


Daniyal Mueenuddin reads from In Other Rooms, Other Wonders, his collection of linked stories describing the lives of an aging Pakistani feudal landowner and his extended family. Rich, illuminating, and beautifully told, this is book is as powerful as they come. MV

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

Between his bands (Swans, the Angels of Light) and his taste (Devendra Banhart and Akron/Family are just two acts who made their name on his Young God Records), Michael Gira has probably caught your ear once or twice. See the legend solo, along with another protégé, Larkin Grimm. MS

Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13


The Mercury teams up once again with the Bus Project to launch Brewhaha 2009. Steve Novick emcees as Portland's young politicos try to decide which of the final four will survive the upcoming state budget cuts. Health care? Education? The Ducks? Naaah... MD

Backspace, 115 NW 5th, 7 pm, FREE, all ages

Wicked is coming to town, the Broadway musical that explores the backstory between Glinda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West. Sure its critical reception has been wobbly, but un-stuff your shirt—the people have spoken, and they're bewitched (ouch). MS

Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, 7:30 pm, $51.50 & up, through April 5

I know it was a long, cold winter without Mississippi Studios, but try not to hold a grudge: After months of renovations, the venerable North Portland recording studio and venue throws open its new and improved doors tonight, with a lineup featuring Weinland, Rebecca Gates, Pete Krebs, Portland Cello Project, and tons more. Get there early. AH

w/the Dimes, James Low, Chris Robley, Stephanie Schneiderman, Lewi Longmire; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 7 pm, FREE