MUSIC—Last year, the Monkees' Michael Nesmith rolled through town with a show that explored his weird, wild, wonderfully idiosyncratic solo career. Papa Nez returns, and the master songwriter will once again play highlights from his bursting songbook, and possibly a Monkees gem or two. NL
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $42.50-45

FILM—The condor might be the ugliest bird ever—seriously, it makes a Skeksis look like Ryan Gosling—but the preservation of the endangered behemoth has been impressive. Marvel at the beast's 10-foot wingspan at this screening of the documentary The Condor's Shadow, followed by a condor-expert panel discussion. Just don't ask why it's so fugly... that's rude. CF
OMSI's Empirical Theater, 1945 SE Water, 6:30 pm, FREE, all ages


COMEDY—The Bridgetown Comedy Festival is hands-down one of the greatest things on the Portland arts calendar. Buy a weekend pass and pretend you're on vacation: PBR in hand, scope out head-liners (Reggie Watts! Paul F Tompkins!), once-local favorites (Matt Braunger! Ian Karmel), and discover your new favorite comic from the lineup of hilarious people you haven't even heard of yet. AH
Bridgetown Comedy Festival, various locations, Thurs-Sun,, see our Feature

SOUL—For years, DJ Beyondadoubt's outstanding dance night I've Got a Hole in My Soul has been shaking asses and taking names. Sadly, Beyonda is off to Los Angeles, so tonight we bid farewell to this beloved Portland institution. For the last time, join Beyonda as she digs deep into her bottomless crate to produce the most booty-wagglin' classic soul 45s you will ever hear. WSH
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $3


WHISKEY—Nothing burns with such sweet, smooth satisfaction as whiskey. Which is why Whiskeyfest Northwest is the booze-lovers' event of the season, featuring tastings from over 50 local and national distilleries, including Eastside Distilling, Bulleit, Pendleton, as well as shots of music from Robert Randolph and the Family Band, the Stone Foxes, Pete Krebs, and so much more! WSH
Whiskeyfest Northwest, NW 11th & Overton, Fri 4-9 pm, Sat noon-9 pm, $25 a day, $40 two-day pass

MUSIC—Seattle's Night Beats play black-velvet psychedelic soul, sure to shake your hips as it expands your mind. On the heels of their latest album, the groovy Sonic Bloom, they'll kick off your weekend with an acid-dipped go-go dance party. NL
w/Black Pistol Fire; Dante's, 350 W Burnside, 9 pm, $10


PARADE—For a neighborhood on the front lines of Portland's struggle with gentrification, St. Johns unites every year for one of the most unabashedly old-fashioned civic experiences possible: a parade through its historic downtown. Come for the floats, and then linger for the St. Johns Bizarre, a vibrant food-art-and-music festival. DCT
North Lombard in downtown St. Johns, 10 am-7 pm, parade at noon, FREE

CRAFTY—If the desperate crowds at Crafty Wonderland's huge holiday edition are a bit much, this weekend's spring version has everything you want (200-plus vendors of handcrafted, original goods including a dedicated wedding section, craft activities, and adoptable kittehs!) without the level-10 insanity. Besides, who says you can't start holiday shopping early? MS
Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE MLK, 11 am-6 pm, FREE, all ages

MUSIC—Your crafty, parade-laden Saturday ends in proper Portland fashion, as three of the city's better bands—Old Light, And And And, and XDS— converge in a dank NE Alberta watering hole. Sure, put a bird on some shit. Just don't forget to rock. DVH
The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 8 pm, $5


THE FUNK—When everybody is on the one, the world is a beautiful place, and no one is better at unlocking that pure joy than George Clinton and Parliament Funka- delic. Partner that with the gutbucket soul Ural Thomas and the Pain pour all over the stage, and it's a guarantee the Crystal is going to be one bouncy, bumping, gloryhallastoopid mess. BR
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $25-27

BIKE RIDE—The popular Sunday Parkways are a useful reminder of what this city could be if we stopped clutching our cars quite so tightly. For the first parkways event of the year, the committed drivers of East Portland will see some of their most-cherry roads given over to a biking, walking, skipping—happy—citizenry. DVH
Visit for route, 11 am-4 pm


FASHION—We've thrown the best fashion shows in town for nine years now, and for year 10, we have three shows for Open Season, spread out over three venues for three different happy hours. It kicks off tonight with designs from Alexa Stark and Crazy Wind at the Doug Fir, so grab yourself a cocktail and watch the local fashions strut by in an intimate setting. CF
Mon at Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside; Tues at Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi; Wed at Rontoms, 600 E Burnside; 6 pm, $5-8 a night

VARIETY SHOW—The title says it plainly: Entertainment for People's New Shit Show is a mix of comedy, music, video, readings, and more, and this edition brings guests like singer/songwriter Laura Gibson, author/filmmaker Arthur Bradford, and Moth StorySLAM host and all-around personality Andrew Dickson to the table. Expect quality, variety, and yes: entertainment. MS
Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, 8 pm, $8-10


BOOKS—If you haven't yet read Adelle Waldman's The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P., why are you wasting time reading this rag? The ruthlessly insightful novel landed on every critic's 2013 year-end best-of list, for good reason. More stories about white people in Brooklyn might seem like the last thing the world needs, but Waldman's critique of social and romantic entanglements transcends its setting. AH
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside,7:30 pm, FREE

MUSIC—Some 21 years after helping pioneer the alt-country movement, Old 97's have begun to look back at what they've wrought. Their latest album, Most Messed Up, is a paean to their roots as a bar band and an acknowledgment of their newfound status as elder statesmen. And there isn't a better place than the Wonder Ballroom, like some dancehall of yesteryear, to watch that dichotomy play out. DCT
w/Nikki Lane; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8:30 pm, $23-25, all ages