KEANU—I was going to recommend that you bail on your dumb Xmas Eve crap to go see the Seth Rogen and James Franco comedy The Interview tonight... BUT then North Korea started messing with it. (THANKS, NORTH KOREA.) So instead, I remind you that one of 2014's best and most fun action movies, Keanu Reeves' John Wick, is playing at the Academy this afternoon. Keanu > Jesus. EH
Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark, 4:40 pm, $4

PRINCE—There's a lot of people who were raised like "you get one present early on Christmas Eve, and then you'll get the rest on Christmas morning." Make this year's early gift the gift of Prince, with DJs Holla 'N Oates' tribute night, Pussy Control. Have your ass a purple, funky Christmas. BR
Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand, 9 pm, FREE


FILMIt's a Wonderful Life goes like this: George Bailey—a small-town bumbler who can't refuse the bums he calls his "friends"—trusts an incompetent relative with a lot of money, right before Christmas, and then the money winds up lost. Facing ruination, he gets drunk, menaces his family, and hallucinates after a botched suicide attempt. And I always BAWL MY GODDAMNED EYES OUT. DCT
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 6:30 pm, $8

SWEATERS—Santa has come and gone... but you're in need of one last holiday celebration. So pick out the most horrific sweater in your collection and head on down to House Call: Ugly Sweater Party. It's an evening of top-notch house and techno featuring the excellent DJ Mikey Velazquez (along with special guest turntablists). By the end of the evening, I bet that old sweater is going to smell fantastic. WSH
Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy, 9 pm, $5-10


MUSIC—If you have not yet been smitten by the wildly talented golden vocals of the von Trapps—it means you're either weirdly unfamiliar with the great-grandchildren of the Captain and Maria von Trapp (yes, from Sound of Music fame), or you're got something wrong inside your tiny, cold heart. Grow that heart today with holiday songs by Portland's favorite and beloved crooners! WSH
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 6:30 pm (all ages), 9 pm (21+), $13-15

COMEDY—Keep the holiday jollies going with Boxing Day Comedy, featuring the return of former Portlander Mikey Kampmann and his fellow Los Angelino Jay Weingarten! There is also a surprise guest who is something of a fixture on these pages, as well as kind of a big deal. Can you guess? MS
w/Jason Traeger, DJ E*Rock; Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9 pm, $5


DANCE PARTY—Wanna put the hell of Christmas with the family far, far behind you? Go get messy at Blow Pony's holiday blowout dance night, Christ-Mess. There'll be naughty and nice DJs, lots of eye candy to unwrap, and more gaiety than you ever saw on Christmas proper, with Santa sittings and sexy, sexy dancers! CF
Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 9 pm, $5

MUSIC—Any time you get a chance to dance, drink, and cavort at the Spare Room, you should take that chance and hug it close to your sweaty, drunken bosom. Perennial Portland favorites Larry and Teri provide another great reason to get drunk and sweaty with their old-school lounge act; they've been playing 60 years of hits for nearly two decades together. CF
The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd, 9 pm, FREE


DANCE PARTY—Every month Dig a Pony hosts Do Right Sunday, a throwback hiphop/R&B dance party to benefit a different charity. This month's lucky recipient is Music in the Schools, and DJs Deena Bee and Hot Biology will be there to get your body moving and the cash raking in. MS
Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand, 9 pm, FREE

GAMES—Bingo's probably the most fun you can have, legally, in a church basement. So imagine how much fun it might be somewhere else... somewhere else like a gay bar? Scandals is holding a bingo fundraiser on the last Sunday of the month—with this month's games benefiting Pride Northwest. Check it out! Because suggestively holding a dauber never felt so right. DCT
Scandals, 1125 SW Stark, 7 pm, $5 and up


MUSIC—Every Monday, 'round about happy-hour time, Portland Country Underground plays some of the best, twangiest, boot-stompingest country music in these parts. So hop along down to the LaurelThirst, sidle up to a tall glass of bourbon, and ease into the rest of your week. NL
LaurelThirst Public House, 2958 NE Glisan, 6 pm, FREE

FILM—Now that your brain has been rotted away by the natterings of your family members and the chanting of soulless Christmas carols, it's time to build it back up—by seeing a smart movie about a smart person! Benedict Cumberbatch, whose name is fun to say, is getting nothing but acclaim for his performance as the brilliant Alan Turing in The Imitation Game. EH
Various Theaters, see our review and Movie Times


MUSIC—Some years deserve to be bid farewell to in a deluge of whiskey and unfiltered cigarettes. Not 2014, though, y'all. This year, we recommend you gussy up and end the damn thing in class with Portland's favorite bass-plunking jazz songstress, Esperanza Spalding, and the Oregon Symphony. DVH
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, Tues & Wed 7 pm, $35-125, all ages

BLAZERS—There was a time when this matchup would have elicited a disaffected shrug, but here in 2014, the Blazers taking on the Toronto Raptors is a must-watch. Maybe if we're lucky, our flying inflatable truck will crash into their roller-blading inflatable mascot. Oh, and the basketball should be pretty fun to watch, too. BR
Moda Center, 1 Center Ct, 7 pm, $27 & up, all ages