COMEDY—Since debuting last fall, the delightful $5 Bill Comedy Night's flourished under the steady hand of Mercury friend Robert Ham, and for good reason: Five bucks gets you consistently great stand-up at adorable, record-filled Turn! Turn! Turn! Tonight, Caitlin Weierhauser, Brodie Kelly, Barbara Holm, Tim Ledwith, and host Jenna Zine will crumple your face with laughter. High five! MEGAN BURBANK
Turn! Turn! Turn!, 8 NE Killingsworth, 8 pm, $5

SCIENCE—There's a reason why the first term OMSI uses to describe OMSI After Dark is "child-free"—they know as well as anybody that their science museum is great once all those filthy little cretins aren't around. Tonight's 21-and-over event features beer, wine, and "mind games" activities that tie in with OMSI's current Mazes exhibit. Take a date, and get started on the mind games early! ERIK HENRIKSEN
OMSI, 1945 SE Water, 6-10 pm, $7-13


COMEDY—Hot off her stint at the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber, the always hilarious (and glamorous) Natasha Leggero is a slam-dunk for comedy lovers. Armed with arm-length gloves and a faux sophisticated style, Natasha brilliantly skewers the narcissism of the upper class, and her crowd work is first rate. Miss at your own peril! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
w/Don Frost; Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $20-33

MUSIC—Local favorite heavy-hitters Gaytheist are filling up North Portland with loud tonight. What can they say? They like to play really fucking loud. And we wouldn't have it any other way. The trio sets off to Boise's Treefort Music fest tomorrow, where they aim to destroy a bunch of Idahoans' eardrums, and they're kicking off the streak of fast, raucous destruction at the Foggy Notion. It should be awesome sauce. COURTNEY FERGUSON
w/Full Creature, Grand Head; The Foggy Notion, 3416 N Lombard, 9 pm, $5


FOOTBALL—With rabid fans of the Timbers and the Blazers dominating the sports scene, it can be easy to forget that we've got an arena football team, too: the Portland Thunder. And tonight, they're playing the LA KISS—Los Angeles' arena football team that's owned by (yep) KISS' Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. Seeing this will probably be something you'll want to tell your grandchildren about. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Moda Center, 1 N Center, 7 pm, $15-200, all ages

MUSIC—Brit family band Kitty, Daisy & Lewis are more than a gimmick; they have a huge fanbase (which includes David Lynch and Dustin Hoffman) thanks to a rollicking sound with roots deeply embedded in early rock, R&B, C&W, and... Hawaiian? Sure, why not. Because when Kitty, Daisy & Lewis are playing the room their energy is infectious. And they play nearly every instrument known to humankind! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
w/Gemma Ray; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $15


MUSIC—Need more cowbell? The "world's first and only" heavy-metal mariachi band Metalachi has your cowbell, your guitarrón, and your vihuela. The Mexican band got its start when "what began as an innocent night of snorting horse tranquilizers in a hotel room with seven members of the village jai alai team went on to produce the greatest metal band ever to live." SHELBY KING
w/Burn the Stage; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $15

VARIETY—Like a small-town answer to Saturday Night Live, Live Wire! mixes skits and music with live interviews with the cultural figures of our time. Tonight this includes the first openly gay member of Congress, Barney Frank (who's also reading at Powell's this afternoon), stand-up Aparna Nancherla, comedian and Mercury columnist Ian Karmel, Kevin Allison, Joe Pug, and more. MARJORIE SKINNER
Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark, 7:30 pm, $20-35; Barney Frank at Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 4 pm, FREE, all ages


MID-CENTURY POTLUCK—Time to try out your grandma's beloved recipes: tomato soup cakes, Jell-O-encrusted fruit salads, mayo-based everythings. From the organizers of the Bay Area's popular event comes the Mid-Century Potluck Party, complete with dish judging, costumes, prizes, and cocktails from the Eagles Lodge bar. Tie on an apron and dress the part—think Betty Draper—and show off your bacon-wrapped marshmallow-cream pigs in a blanket. Yum? Yes, yum. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 4:30-9 pm, $7 ($5 w/food donation to Oregon Food Bank), all ages

MUSIC—British duo Public Service Broadcasting use found sounds, samples, and esoterica to make involving instrumental music that actually tells a story. Their latest, The Race for Space, uses audio clips supplied by the British Film Institute to provide a brilliant aural document of the American/Russian space race of the '50s and '60s. NED LANNAMANN
w/DoublePlusGood; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10-12


MUSIC—The eight-piece band ELEL isn't the first thing you'd expect to come out of Nashville: radiant, electro-tinged pop with big beats, wide horizons, and a tinge of melancholy. It's perfectly suited for either headphones or the dance floor, and their live show will allow their big sounds to be that much bigger. NED LANNAMANN
w/John Appleby; Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9:30 pm, $10

FILM—Yes: Touch of Evil is that movie where Charlton Heston plays a Mexican. If you can get past that toothy bit of ridiculousness, you'll see it's also the movie where a sweaty, filthy Orson Welles turns in one of his best performances while simultaneously directing his sweaty, filthy ass off. This is must-see film noir. So go see it. BOBBY ROBERTS
Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark, see, $4


MUSIC—Thankfully, we live in a time where only the most undignified troglodytes would attempt to claim, as our parents once did, that rap "isn't music." Pete Rock is one of the best beatmakers of the forever, and Slum Village's constantly changing sound evolved from his influence. You see this show, you're guaranteed to hear some of the best hiphop ever made. BOBBY ROBERTS
w/Hanif, DJ Wels, Tope; Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez, 8 pm, $18-20, all ages

BOOKS—Sex educator and great person Emily Nagoski is literally god's gift to women. Tonight, she discusses scientifically proven routes to better sex in Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. Plus, did you know that sex isn't a drive? It's not! Or that Viagra for ladies is really just stress reduction? It is! You're gonna learn so much! MEGAN BURBANK
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE