YOO-HOO! SAILOR!—It's the sexiest time of year, AKA Fleet Week! The US Navy, Coast Guard, and Royal Canadian Navy will be sailing in starting today, featuring onboard ship tours, and sailors strolling around town looking hot. NOTE: While sailors will sometimes carry you in their arms for photo ops, surprise bottom pinches—while tempting—are frowned upon. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito, tours daily 9:30 am-3:30 pm, through June 7, FREE

MUSIC—Great things about the annual PDX Pop Now! fest: It's always free and all ages. Bad things about PDX Pop Now!: It's not until July. Satisfy your infernal impatience by heading to the release of the festival's annual compilation album tonight. It's not free, but it's immediate. DIRK VANDERHART
w/Psychomagic, Rasheed Jamal, Robin Bacior; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 7:30 pm, $8-10 (includes digital or CD compilation)


MUSIC—It's been many moons since Dead Meadow brought their gnarled, spooky stoner rock to Portland, so pack your finest pipeweed and get thee to the Doug Fir dungeon, where trancelike tendrils of heavy-lidded rock 'n' roll will wend their way into your eardrums. NED LANNAMANN
w/Daydream Machine; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13-15

BIKES—To quote Tupac: "Break out the champagne glasses and the motherfucking condoms." Pedalpalooza's upon us again, everyone! More than three weeks of bikey brashness begin tonight with the annual Kickoff Ride. Inflate those tires, smear unguent on those calves, and be safe out there. DIRK VANDERHART
Salmon Street Fountain, SW Salmon & Naito, ride leaves at 7 pm, FREE, all ages


VISUAL ART—With an incredible lineup of emerging Native American artists, new indigenous art/music/film fest One Flaming Arrow promises to be one of the best art fests of the summer. Tonight, artist Natalie Ball and zinester Grace Rosario Perkins' show at Reading Frenzy opens to the public—festival wristband not required. MEGAN BURBANK
Reading Frenzy, 3628 N Mississippi, 6-9 pm, FREE; fest schedule at, through June 14

MUSIC—Borrow your tween's acid-washed jeans (they're cool again, apparently), put on your metal-studded bustier, and tease your hair high for Great White, Slaughter, and Vixen at the Rose Festival. The law of probability (and the fact that the show's outside) means you probably won't die in a fiery deathtrap if you go. SHELBY R. KING
Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito, 7:30 pm, $25-30, all ages

MUSIC—If you've been to one hopping show at the Spare Room, you sure as hell know you want to go back to every single one. Tonight the fun-lovin' cowpokes in the Caleb Klauder Country Band aim to turn the charming former bowling alley into a rootin' tootin' honky-tonk bar. Dust off your dancing boots. COURTNEY FERGUSON
w/the Earnest Lovers; the Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd, 9 pm, $12


MUSIC—Some of Portland's best musicians—including Caleb Klauder, Reeb Willms, Thin Rail, the Earnest Lovers, and more—pay homage to Dolly Parton in a fun night of performances. The proceeds of the 10th annual Hoot Night show benefit the Siren Nation Festival, a November arts celebration featuring original work from women. SHELBY R. KING
Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta, 8 pm, $12-15, all ages

MUSIC—Performances from Portland's School of Rock are always inspiring fun, but this time they're really upping the ante with this performance titled "R&B Royalty." Noting that rock 'n' roll sprang from the loins of R&B, the kids will be performing music from such soul greats as Prince, Aretha Franklin, Michael Jackson, and more. Don't miss this one! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 2 pm, $12-15, all ages


COMEDY—Get ready for a match made in beardy joke heaven: Tonight, delightfully scruffy Sean Patton headlines Trevor Thorpe's lumberjack-inspired comedy showcase, Hella Feller (get it? Like FELLING TREES!), where he'll probably make fun of swole dudes who pound water and grunt at the gym (imposter lumberjacks). Don't forget your red-checkered shirt! MEGAN BURBANK
w/Bryan Cook; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 8 pm, $12

MUSIC—The Domestics delivered one of the finest Portland debuts last year with their grabby, catchy self-titled album, based around the comfortably edgy songwriting of Michael Finn and Leo London. The album's being re-released by Tender Loving Empire in July, and tonight the fully functional live outfit will tantalize you with tunes from it. NED LANNAMANN
w/Grand Lake Islands, Beach Fire; Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE


MUSIC—Sufjan Stevens' latest, Carrie & Lowell, is a heavy, gentle exposition of the artist's childhood. Quite literally—the title is a pairing of his mom and stepdad's names. It's spellbinding enough through a pair of headphones; in the flesh, it might just make you weep. MARJORIE SKINNER
w/Helado Negro; Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 8 pm, $40, all ages

FILM—The trailers for Melissa McCarthy's latest, Spy, aren't selling the movie very well. The ads are like "Melissa ride scooter, fall down go boom." But the movie is actually like "Melissa makes Jason Statham look like a goddamn punk." Action sequences aren't the only things going boom—your expectations of what a Melissa McCarthy movie can be get blowed up pretty good, too. BOBBY ROBERTS
Various Theaters, see


MUSIC—This disclaimer on the Aladdin website makes me love Jonathan Richman more than I previously thought I could: "Please note that Jonathan Richman... does not participate in the internet on any level." So you'll have to tell him in person that he's a bad-ass, with his 40-plus years of being a smart, charming, and implacably honest musician/goofball. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $15, all ages

STORYTELLING—It's getting to be that there's a storytelling event for every subset of society, but we're not complaining. The relatively new Slant features live tale telling from the queer community, emceed by "hostess extraordinaire" Pepper Pepper. Tonight's topic: hot dish! MARJORIE SKINNER
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 8 pm, $11-14