MUSIC—When James Brown wanted to give it up and turn it loose? He turned to Bootsy Collins. When George Clinton needed a glide in his stride? Bootsy put that dip in his hip. When the Godfather and Dr. Funkenstein need you to achieve their full-funk potential, your legend status is bona fide. BOBBY ROBERTS
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $35-40


BIKES—We all know about Portland's cycling culture. What gets lost—most crucially among city leaders—is how much stronger it might be with better street infrastructure coaxing people onto their bikes. That's why this year's Pedalpalooza features a City Hall Rally. Pack city council chambers, and help officials remember there's a bike plan they're supposed to be following. DIRK VANDERHART
Portland City Hall, 1221 SW 4th, rally begins at 8 am, council meeting at 9:30 am


BOOKS—Attention, book nerds! Christmas is here! It's LitHop PDX, when local presses and national lit journals fill six Old Town/Chinatown venues with 54 wonderful writers for an evening of boozy, short 'n' sweet readings. Look for local faves like Martha Grover, Zachary Auburn, Sara Jaffe, and Justin Hocking. MEGAN BURBANK
Various locations, 7-9:45 pm, FREE, for full schedule; after-party at Dante's, 350 W Burnside, 10 pm

COMEDY—Hella Feller might be a convoluted name for a stand-up showcase (something about the Doug Fir Lounge and felling trees?), but there's nothing complicated about tonight's edition, which features the heeeelarious James Adomian, plus sets from Nick Sahoyah, Trevor Thorpe, and Mercury gal Bri Pruett! MARJORIE SKINNER
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 8 pm, $12


MUSIC—Shhhhhhh... cease your rumbling punk and metal for a moment and appreciate the delicate side of live music. Disjecta's longstanding two-night Quiet Music Festival will feature stripped-down, gentle performances from Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Secret Drum Band, Sonny Smith, Amenta Abioto, and more. MARJORIE SKINNER
Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, Fri-Sat, 7 pm, $10-12 ($16-18 for both nights), all ages

MUSIC—Willie Nelson is as real as country gets. Willie Nelson will remind you why you like America. Willie Nelson will remind you what happiness and heartbreak feel like. Willie Nelson has more unforgettable songs than just about anybody. Willie Nelson requests that he be rolled up and smoked when he dies. Willie Nelson will remind you why life is worth living. ERIK HENRIKSEN
w/Alison Krauss & Union Station; Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, 6:30 pm, sold out (you know how to find tickets), all ages


NEKKID—It's Portland's version of the World Naked Bike Ride, featuring more than 10,000 cyclists in the buff hauling ass around town to promote bicycle vulnerability and demote pollution-causing transportation. AND DON'T MISS the Mercury's Naked Bike Ride Afterparty at White Owl Social Club featuring discounted drinks, DJs, and semi-clothed dancing! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Ride starts at Colonel Summers Park, SE 17th & Taylor, 9 pm, FREE, all ages,; afterparty at White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th, immediately following the ride, FREE

COMEDY—With jokes about the joys of divorce and the cultural expectation that every unwed lady who dies alone MUST own a cat, Jen Kirkman is the anti-Cathy "ACK!" comic. Her smart, mordant, vaguely existential brand of humor is a sad/funny reminder that we're all basically alone, right? But we might as well laugh during our stint in this mortal gutter. MEGAN BURBANK
w/Bri Pruett; Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7 pm, $15


MOTORCYCLES—Portlanders love their bicycles, but cram an engine on one and that bike just got way better! The Oregon Motorcycle Expo is an all-ages event that features motorcycles (duh!), food, stuff to buy, and tattoos! Bring cans of food to donate to the Oregon Food Bank, but leave your wallet at home because it's FREE! SHELBY R. KING
Oaks Amusement Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park, Fri 6-10 pm, Sat noon-10 pm, Sun, noon-6 pm, FREE, all ages

SPORTS—So maybe our beloved Timbers haven't had the "best" season so far... but all that changes tonight, when our boys put some serious HURT on those despicable butthole jerks from Seattle, the Sounders. Come support this juicy and highly necessary rivalry—and if you're looking for the perfect chant... how about this one? KILL! KILL! KILL! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Providence Park, 1844 SW Morrison, 4 pm, $40 & up, all ages


MUSIC—We don't put a lot of hardcore bands on this page, and we detest bleeding from the face. We'll put aside all that to recommend reunited screamy supergroup Head Wound City, featuring members of the Locust, Blood Brothers, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The band recently re-released their lone EP and are causing contusions all around this great nation. DIRK VANDERHART
w/Grave Babies, Vice Device; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $12

MUSIC—For a full year, the folks at Thirsty City have been slinging nutzoid beats, off-kilter hip-hop, and body-movin' electronic sounds that get all up in ya. Tonight the monthly night celebrates year number uno with special guest Durazzo, and sets from usual suspects like Montgomery Word and host Northern Draw. NED LANNAMANN
The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 8:30 pm, $5


MUSICPlowing into the Field of Love, Iceage's third album, is the sound of young punks growing up. The Danish band incorporates instruments like piano, mandolin, and viola into their sabertooth sound, and there's even a goldarn country song or two. None of this, however, will take away from the pulverizing power of Iceage's live show. NED LANNAMANN
w/Cairo Pythian; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $12-14

FILM—Fifty-five years after it first shocked audiences—and despite all the soulless sequels, remakes, and TV spinoffs—Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho is still as creepy and fun as ever. If you've never seen it, the big screen is the way to go—and if it's just been a while, seeing Hitch's thriller is even more fun with some beer and a crowd. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, see Film Times, $4