WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19

MUSIC—Put some shine on your best pair of boots tonight, and go howl at the moon with Denver, the band that made alcohol- and misery-soaked country music fun again. Sorry for all your heartache, boys, but maybe it was worth it for the harmonies. MARJORIE SKINNER
w/Ellis Dodi, Evening Bell; The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell, 8:30 pm, $10

COMEDY—Portland stand-up Veronica Heath tells the best mini-horse and marriage dissolution jokes around, so we need her good and healthy! Unfortunately, Heath's been sidelined by health-related woes, so naturally, the comedians of Portland are fighting back with tonight's benefit, Operation Unicorn. Practically every fucking Portland comedian is going to be at this show, and so should you. MEGAN BURBANK
Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th, 8 pm, $10

THURSDAY, AUGUST 20

COMEDY—Local stand-ups JoAnn Schinderle and Barbara Holm have a podcast about relationships and dating called It's Not Me, It's Me. Together with guest Kristine Levine (who's sooooo great and sooooo wrong), they're doing it live for your entertainment tonight at Bunk Bar. This is a guaranteed good time with three of the funniest women in the Portland comedy scene. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9:30 pm, $7

MUSIC—Your monthly fix of free Ear Candy shows continues with the playful, wriggling space jams of Talkative. They're joined tonight by the sparkling psych-pop of the Tamed West and the bone-dry yet affectionate punk of the excellent Golden Hour. NED LANNAMANN
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, FREE

FRIDAY, AUGUST 21

MUSIC—Not sure if we're a family newspaper (?), but there's no fucking reason we're gonna play coy about telling you to get off your goddamn ass to go see the colorfully named, magnificently rocking Fucked Up. They're the shit! Moniker aside, these glorious bastards play epic punk rock that's actually more profound than profane. Penisballs! NED LANNAMANN
w/And And And, Wimps; Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 9 pm, $12 ($3 w/RSVP at redbullsoundselect.com)

MUSIC—Portland's most populist music festival is on us again. The second iteration of Festicide touts "no wristbands, no sponsors, no nonsense" as an organizing philosophy. It's nine shows over three days, minimal cover charges, and one guaranteed all-ages show a night. Tonight? We like Danava at Black Water Bar (8 pm, all ages), and Hurry Up at Killingsworth Dynasty (8 pm). Each show is $5 or free. DIRK VANDERHART
Various venues, Fri-Sun, see our Live Music listings for a full schedule

SATURDAY, AUGUST 22

THEATER—The good people of PHAME, which runs arts education programs for developmentally disabled adults, debut an original musical this weekend. Up the Fall features a cast of actors with and without developmental disabilities, and boasts music and lyrics from delightful local singer/songwriter Laura Gibson. It's also a welcome disruption from summer's nonstop Shakespearean fixation. MEGAN BURBANK
Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison, Sat 7:30 pm, Sun 2 pm, see phamepdx.org for more showtimes, through Aug 29, $22-28

FOOD—You won't win the Zach's Shack Hot Dog Eating Contest. You won't even place. But you don't enter the thing for victory. No, you're plunking down $8 to gorge yourself on entrails for 10 minutes because life can't always be pleasant and beautiful. It needs pain. It yearns for nausea. (To be fair, you can get those same sensations from the safety of the audience.) DIRK VANDERHART
Zach's Shack, 4611 SE Hawthorne, 4 pm, $8 to enter (space is limited)

SUNDAY, AUGUST 23

MUSIC—This weekend might be your best last chance at outdoor summer music festival fun—MusicfestNW spans three days with full, unforgettable lineups like today's, which includes Pure Bathing Culture, the Helio Sequence, the Tallest Man on Earth, and Modest Mouse. Why, that's not modest at all. MARJORIE SKINNER
Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito, Fri 5:30 pm, Sat-Sun 12:30 pm, $45-60 ($140 three-day pass), all ages

COMEDY—I feel weird about Bridgetown Comedy Fest vet Howard Kremer. The stand-up comedian/podcaster/rapper is undeniably hysterical, with his shouty bit about the perils of summer and punching an octopus in all eight of its armpits. But he's like an eye puzzle, a hot man combined with an old man with a stuffy nose, a peculiar combo that somehow works. Go see the Who Charted? comedian for yourself in this teeny-tiny venue. COURTNEY FERGUSON
The Waypost, 3120 N Williams, 8 pm, $10

MONDAY, AUGUST 24

BOOKS—Thanks to her work in Buffy, Dollhouse, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, and The Guild, actor and writer Felicia Day is one of the smartest—and most talented—forces in geek culture. Tonight, she's in town to sign copies of her new memoir, You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost). ERIK HENRIKSEN
Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills, Beaverton, 6 pm, FREE

FILM—Boy, the '90s sure were... they were somethin', weren't they? It was the only decade that could have contained the insanity that is Face/Off. John Woo directing '90s-era John Travolta pretending to be '90s-era Nicolas Cage, while birds and boats and prisons are just constantly blowing up and flying all over the fuckin' place? Movies just don't have fun like that anymore. BOBBY ROBERTS
Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, 9:15pm, $4

TUESDAY, AUGUST 25

FILM—1971's Vanishing Point is a goddamn classic. Starring Barry Newman as the fearless driver Kowalski—and a 1970 Dodge Challenger as Kowalksi's 1970 Dodge Challenger—it's a car-chase movie so pure and visceral that you can smell burning rubber. Tonight it screens on 35mm, preceded by vintage trailers. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $8

MUSIC—If ever there was a way to make a graduation exciting, inviting Portugal. The Man to the afterparty will do it. But don't get too excited, it's invite only for Portland State University's graphic design program ceremony. The concert, on the other hand is open to the public. It's also only $5 to get in, which means it will be a zoo. SHELBY R. KING
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9:30 pm, $5