The Jupiter Hotel condenses Eastside flavor into one bite-sized event at Indulge, a benefit for Ecotrust's Farm to School program. Food from hotspots like Beaker and Flask, Laurelhurst Market, and Bunk, plus boozy concoctions from House Spirits, New Deal, and others make this the best food event of the year. PAC
Jupiter Hotel, 800 E Burnside, 6 pm, $30

Kick-ass Portland-based feminist mag Bitch is celebrating the release of their fall issue, "Consumed," with a fatty consumption party for the herstory books: a doughnut-eating contest with live music and prizes. SM
Voodoo Doughnut Too, 1501 NE Davis, 7 pm, FREE

Tonight marks the debut of Holocene's new series Fin de Cinema, where classic movies are screened while a slew of local musicians perform live scores to accompany the film—and it's free. Alejandro Jodorowsky's The Holy Mountain is the first flick, and those performing alongside it include Ilyas Ahmed, AAN, Dash!, Ghosting, and Why I Must Be Careful. EAC
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, FREE


In between two nights of stand-up, comedian David Cross will be writing his name over and over and over today at Powell's, signing copies of his new book I Drink for a Reason. Three Portland appearances in two days? Dude's just making everyone else look bad. NL
w/Todd Glass; Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, Thurs Sept 24 & Fri Sept 25, 8 pm, $41.75; book signing at Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, Fri Sept 25, noon, FREE

Think you'll be the one to survive a zombie apocalypse? Sit down, do the math—chances are, you won't. Unless, that is, you attend Zombie Apocalypse Weekend! This three-day event promises in-depth survival training, several "live-attack exercises" (where you either play as a zombie or survivor, giving you valuable killing/survival experience), plus zombie movies and lectures! EH
Some field outside of Beavercreek, Oregon (about an hour from Portland), Fri Sept 25-Sun Sept 27, $35-50 (FREE for zombies), info at


Travel back to the late '80s and early '90s with an evening of retro-friendly events all over town. The Massive dance party/fashion show is dedicated to the 20th anniversary of the Reebok Pump, or take your pick of three separate shows from the earliest days of Lollapalooza: Living Colour (Lollapalooza '91) at Berbati's; Pearl Jam (Lollapalooza '92) at Clark County Amphitheater; Alice in Chains (Lollapalooza '93) at the Roseland. EAC
Massive at the Crown Room, 205 NW 4th, 9 pm, FREE; Living Colour at Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $20-23; Pearl Jam at Clark County Amphitheater, 17200 NE Delfel, Ridgefield, WA, 7:30 pm, $29.50-66, all ages; Alice in Chains at Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $25, all ages


Do you desire the skills to neutralize attackers? Are you large, imposing, and/or unemployed? Is grunting your thing? Then you can't miss Tricks Behind the Velvet Rope, a seminar for aspiring bouncers. Learn holds, rides, and how to deal with improvised weapons like bottles, pool cues, and brass shamrocks. JC
Third Eye Jiu-Jitsu, 5623 SE Center, 4-6 pm, $10

Hurry! Today is the final day of one of Portland's funnest and most delicious events, the annual Polish Festival, in which the rich heritage of western Slavik culture is celebrated via bouncy polka bands, traditional dance, Polish beer, and absolutely yummy Polish edible delights! And of course, accordions, accordions, and more accordions! WSH
Polish Festival, 3900 N Interstate, Sat Sept 26, 11 am-10 pm, Sun Sept 27, noon-6 pm, FREE


Since the death of fellow bandmate and close friend Charles Cooper in January, Telefon Tel Aviv's Joshua Eustis has been silent on the music front. Immolate Yourself, released two days prior to Cooper's death, is a dark yet comforting electronic embrace, one that foreshadows but also showcases an inspirational band at their best. PG
w/the Race; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $10

Granted, it doesn't have Megan Fox being all skanky and demon-y, and at no point during its runtime do meatballs start raining from the sky, but Steven Soderbergh's latest, The Informant!, is one of the best movies in recent memory. Starring an excellent (and chubby!) Matt Damon as a whistleblower who isn't quite as clever as he thinks he is, The Informant! is hilarious and smart and any number of other adulatory superlatives. It's gorgeously shot and scored, too, so catch it on the big screen while you can. EH
Various Theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes


Ya know that movie you made three months ago that you never got around to editing? Clean it up and bring it to Suck My Flick, a short film competition where the audience screens the films and picks the best one. SB
Alberta Street Public House, 1036 NE Alberta, signup at 7:30 pm, screenings at 8 pm , FREE

As always, Portland Center Stage goes all out for their season opener, with a big-budget, over-the-top musical. This year's offering, Ragtime, might be more relevant than most, a turn-of-the-century exploration of race, class, and all the promises American doesn't keep. AH
Portland Center Stage at the Armory, 128 NW 11th, Tues-Sun 7:30 pm, plus Thurs noon, Sun 2 pm, $23-68,


Former Talking Head David Byrne leads a panel discussion on Portland's bicycle culture with Bike Portland's Jonathan Maus and two other local bicycle experts, to launch his new book, Bicycle Diaries. Transportastic! MD
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 7 pm, $26 (includes copy of book)

It's been half a decade since the Dolly Ranchers hung up their strings, but now the four women who marry old-school mountain finger-pickin' with gritty post-punk subject matter are back for what may be your last chance to see them. This time for real. MS
w/Tara Jane O'Neil; Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 9 pm, $7