THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31

Bid farewell to 2009 as local legends Quasi take on rock legends the Who, in this sure-to-be-spectacular New Year's "Fir Ball." Quasi will do an entire set of Who covers, which will most likely include instrument smashing and guitar windmills for days. I heard the Jupiter Hotel is building a pool just so drummer Janet Weiss can drive a car into it. EAC

w/the Shaky Hands, Inside Voices, DJ Safi; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13-15

There's a lot of competition tonight, but the fact that the legendary Murder City Devils play, like, once every year (or five) makes a pretty compelling argument for spending the last hours of '09 basking in their creepily keyboarded brand of decadent devastation. Plus: Jello Biafra! MS

w/Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine, My Life in Black and White; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 9 pm, $30-55

The massively popular '80s Video Dance Attack comes to the Wonder Ballroom for a New Year's celebration that's sure to inspire sweat stains. VJ Kittyrox presents the most dance-tastic videos and music from the 1980s, and with a $7 price point? That's a fun way of ringing in 2010 on the cheap! WSH

Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $7

FRIDAY, JANUARY 1

The only thing worse than a New Year's hangover is the sight of everyone in town decked out in green and yellow. What's bad news for your blurry eyes is good news for the Oregon Ducks who take on the Ohio State Buckeyes in the Rose Bowl. Local screenings at Lola's Room, Clinton Street Theater, Mission Theater, and pretty much any place with a television. I hope LeGarrette Blount punches the sweater right off Jim Tressel. EAC

2 pm, screening at various locations, broadcast on ABC

Too dehydrated and disoriented to start anew in 2010? Relocate your uselessness to the Woods, where you can lounge around on their Queen Anne-style furniture and watch a top-secret lineup of cheesy movies; your resolutions can wait. RN

The Woods, 6637 SE Milwaukie, 6 pm, FREE, 21+

SATURDAY, JANUARY 2

Taking a break from their gig as the house band on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, legendary hiphop group the Roots are swinging back through town. ?uestlove & Co. are as sharp as ever, and you don't want to miss the chance to see the Roots loosen up in ways they can't on late-night TV. EH

w/Orgone, Lilla D'Mone; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $29.50-$50, all ages

Watching Appetite for Deception, Portland's very own Guns N' Roses cover band, is like traveling back in time to an era when roller-skating to Paradise City was the bomb, and Axl Rose was actually cool. PAC

w/Russian Brides, American Bastard; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $10

SUNDAY, JANUARY 3

Can you bust a move for two days straight? Superfresh is betting you can, with an all-ages, all-local weekend of Portland's best dance bands. It's the winter version of the skillet-hot Superfest dance party—Sunday's lineup includes Strength, Dat'r, and Deelay Ceelay—and it'll be a feast for your eyes and ears, not to mention your groove thing. NL

Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, Sat & Sun 6 pm, $10-12 ($18 for two-day pass), all ages.

It's surprising what goes well with beer: Sunny Delight, Roquefort cheese, early MTV music videos. Laidback boozers' haven Beulahland serves up a delectable dish of the latter every Sunday night, screening a hand-picked selection of finely aged pop videos to accompany your choice of friends and drinks. SM

w/VJ Norto, the Phantom Hillbilly; Beulahland, 118 NE 28th, 8 pm, FREE

MONDAY, JANUARY 4

It's Service Industrial Night at Ground Kontrol, so go spend your hard-earned New Year's tips on vintage videogames—with discounted PBR and High Life all night. MD

w/DJ Tibin; Ground Kontrol, 511 NW Couch, 9 pm, FREE

Portland singer/songwriter Leonard Mynx recently dropped Le Petit Mort, an ultra limited-edition album of generous, gorgeous songs. It's a preview of coming attractions, as he's hoping to give those songs—and more than a dozen others—a proper release this year; in the meantime, check him out in the cozy confines of Valentine's. NL

w/Albuquerque Boys Choir, Trevor Giuliani; Valentine's, 232 SW Ankeny, 9 pm

TUESDAY, JANUARY 5

Aaaa! Today is the last day to register to vote for Oregon's special January election! There are only two issues on the ballot, but they're whoppers, hoping to patch the state budget by necessarily raising taxes on corporations and Oregon's wealthiest individuals. Grab your ID and the registration form on the front of this paper and race to the County Elections Office! SM

Multnomah County Elections, 1040 SE Morrison, 8 am-5 pm

Christopher Hitchens is grumpy, acerbic, and occasionally hilarious (but don't tell him I said so—he famously wrote an essay in Vanity Fair about why women lack a sense of humor). Presumably tonight's appearance at the Portland Arts and Lectures series will elevate the brows of all who attend. AH

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $32

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6

Noël Coward's play Design for Living concerns a "disgusting three-sided erotic hotch-potch" between randy artists in the early 1930s, and features more bed hopping than your average teen soap. Artists Rep clearly knows their audience. PAC

Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison, 7:30 pm, $20-25,

It's a little too late for your New Year's kiss, but that's no excuse for missing Casiotone for the Painfully Alone—Casiotone's Owen Ashworth unites seemingly irreconcilable elements (dispassionate vocals, wistful lyrics, jangly pop optimism) with irresistible results. AH

w/Key Losers; Backspace, 115 NW 5th, 8:30 pm, $7, all ages