DONATE!—Before their country was devastated by a colossal earthquake, Haiti was already the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere. Tonight's much needed benefit show features Portland's music elite—Thomas Lauderdale of Pink Martini, Storm Large, and plenty more—banding together with a goal to raise $25,000 for Mercy Corps. If you still have yet to text "HAITI" to 90999, or just want to do more, here is your chance. EAC

w/Portland Cello Project, Janice Scroggins, Cool Nutz, Holcombe Waller & more; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 7:30 pm, $30

STRIPPERS AND FIREARMS—It's Paideia Week at Reed College, in which any student or alum can teach a free class, resulting in everything from tonight's modern firearms training seminar to the economics of stripping class on Saturday, led by a stripper and certified tax preparer. (Oh, and that class is also a bike ride, in case you forgot you were in Portland.) SM

Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock, through Sun Jan 24, full schedule


Don't Miss Portland's Newest Shopping Event, Dec 4&5
Discover 140 of the best local brands, designers & artists + free drinks, photo booth fun & fab holiday vibes!
The Moth Mainstage Returns to Portland on December 14
Join Literary Arts and The Moth at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall for an inspiring night of true stories, told live.

DANCE—Enjoy an encore performance of Uprising, the unique collaboration between Oregon Ballet Theatre and indie-folk band Horse Feathers—this time at a venue with a little more elbowroom. However, that does not mean more room for you to try out your clumsy pirouettes and bow-legged pliés; leave that to the experts. RN

Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $15-18

HORNS—Deep in darkest, coldest January, we need the big, funky bravado of the Rebirth Brass Band, who can literally turn any venue into a sweltering Louisiana roadhouse in 30 seconds. Literally. PAC

w/Ivan Neville's Dumpstaphunk, Philly's Phunkestra; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $20-25


FAMILY BAND—Sonic pilgrims Akron/Family are currently one of the best live bands around, and they're performing alongside Portland's own magnificent Au for an entirely free, all-ages show that'll end early enough for you to hit that late-night party afterward. NL

w/Wow & Flutter; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 6:30 pm, FREE, all ages

BANG! BANG! BANGALORE!—Much like taking a dip in the Ganges, it's best to know a little about Bollywood and bhangra before taking the plunge. Before the Bollywood/bhangra dance party Jai Ho! takes over Lola's Room in a flurry of dancing, there will be a dance workshop for novices. When you are finished, you'll be more popular than Shahrukh Khan. EAC

w/DJ Prashant; Lola's Room, 1332 W Burnside, workshop 9 pm, dance party 10 pm, $5

CRAZY, SEXY, CRUEL—Fans of giallo cinema know that Italians of the '70s preferred their horror moody and surreally erotic. Sergio Martino's Torso, screening as part of the ongoing Late Night European Horror Series, is a perfect example, offering up a coeds-get-picked-off story that's as languorous as it is violent. DB

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 11:30 pm, $8


THE LATE LATE SHOW—While Leno, Letterman, and Conan have gotten all the attention, Scotsman-turned-American comedian and writer Craig Ferguson has been quietly cranking out some of the funniest and wittiest comedy the wee hours have to offer. EH

Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 7 pm, $47.50-50

FERTILE GROUND—The Fertile Ground festival showcases the bleeding edge of new theatrical work being developed in Portland (live adaptation of Road House, anyone?). Tonight's program of original dance promises a collaboration between Tere Mathern Dance and Minh Tran & Company, performed in the round and, occasionally, in the buff. AH

Miller Hall, World Forestry Center, 4033 SW Canyon, 2 pm, $26


BLUE MOVIE—Since the 1940s, our little blues hub has been eclipsed by big names like Detroit and New Orleans. Not anymore! Screening as part of the Reel Music festival, Bob Leitch's documentary Portland Mojo: How Stumptown Got the Blues shines the spotlight where it rightly belongs. DB

Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park, 7 pm, $8; afterparty w/Lloyd Jones Quartet, Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 9 pm, FREE

STEP RIGHT UP—Step, a traditional dance form developed by African American fraternities, turns the body into a percussion instrument. Step Afrika! brings the noise, the powerful syncopation, and a global perspective to the explosive dance. PAC

Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 7 pm, $27-38


NOT JUST ANY KIDS—If Patti Smith had retired after her 1975 album Horses, her legacy would be secure—but the ferocious musician, poet, and activist has amassed a lifetime of inspiring work. Tonight she reads from her new memoir Just Kids, which offers a window into both Smith's relationship with photographer Robert Mapplethorpe and the New York music scene of the early 1970s. AH

Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 7 pm, $27 (includes a copy of Just Kids)

MEMORIAL COLISEUM 2.0—Winterhawks and Nike museum! Public gym and velodrome! Hotel and casino! Citizens will pitch these and at least a dozen other ideas of how to repurpose Memorial Coliseum tonight as part of city process to decide what to do with the 50-year-old modernist box. SM

Memorial Coliseum, 300 N Winning Way, 5-8:30 pm, register to attend


KING OF KOOL—Kool Keith stocks up on aliases like they going out of style. He's "the original Black Elvis," Dr. Octagon, and sometimes he's just Keith Thornton. But no matter what you call him, Keith is a hiphop visionary who has been holding it down since you were just a shorty. EAC

w/Foreign Objects, Gray Matters; Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th, 9 pm, $17-20, all ages

TALK OF THE TOWN—The New Oregon Interview Series features local creative types discussing why this is the best damn city ever and where its artsy culture is headed. Tonight's interviewees include fashion designers Elizabeth Dye, Adam Arnold, and Ryan Christensen, so wear your fancy boots. AR

Urban Grind East, 2214 NE Oregon, 7 pm, $5