THURSDAY, MARCH 11

SAN PEDRO—With a flannel shirt and a battered bass guitar, Mike Watt has cemented himself as one of punk culture's true legends. While his peers have aged poorly—or died far too young—Watt remains just as relevant now as the day he shared a stage with D. Boon. All hail the Piss-Bottle Man. EAC w/Lite, Meercaz; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $15

TALK & ROLL—Attention music nerds! History nerds! Regular nerd nerds! Those kids at the Dill Pickle Club and PDX Pop Now! are teaming up to host an awesome-looking dinner-lecture series about the history of our town's music scenes. On tap for tonight: Portland soul music, poster art, and psychedelic hippies. Yes, yes, and okay! SM The Waypost, 3120 N Williams, 7:30 pm, $10-12 (includes vegetarian dinner)

FRIDAY, MARCH 12

TOOTHY—Portland's Red Fang harkens back to the Motörhead/Melvins heyday when punk and metal were at their most attractive as a couple. The internet has been sniffing at them with interest for sometime, but their wise decision to play sparingly at home means even for us natives, this show's an occasion. MS w/the Long and Short of It, Salvador; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 9:30 pm, $8-10

A PASSAGE TO INDIA—Don't let the exoticism of Bollywood music intimidate you. When DJ Suketu mixes it with club beats, there's no friendlier genre. Suketu is Bollywood's top DJ because his pounding 4/4 drum and bass makes India's film music universally danceable and humpable. DB w/DJ Prashant; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 9 pm, $20, all ages

SATURDAY, MARCH 13

MUSH!—Dogs pulling sleds through miles of freezing Alaskan wilderness? CRUEL! Human drunks pulling shopping carts filled with other human drunks through miles of rainy Portland streets? HILARIOUS! While it's too late to enter, you can still watch the Portland Urban Iditarod—one of the most boisterous, bizarre (and therefore fun) events of the year! WSH route announced at keepportlandweird.org/urbaniditarod on Fri March 12; afterparty at Grand Cafe, 832 SE Grand, time to be determined, FREE

ZOMBIE VS. ROBOT—We don't fully understand this one, but we know a good thing when we see it. PDX.fm presents Zobotica, a zombie vs. robot boxing match complete with contests, raffles, and five bands! The party's a benefit for the Red Cross and Free Geek, so get your costume ready, and may the best man... uh... person... uh... oh, whatever. NL Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 7 pm, $10, details at zombotica.com

SUNDAY, MARCH 14

CHAOS THEORY—Remember when the Portland Trail Blazers were this close to signing mouth-breathing forward Hedo Turkoglu? Phew, they sure dodged a bullet with that one. Come watch Turkoglu's new team, the Toronto Raptors, freefall in the standings as they carry around the declining player and his bloated, toxic contract. EAC Rose Garden, 1 Center Ct, 6 pm, $18-160, broadcast on Comcast SportsNet NW

BODY BUILDING—The site-specific performances of POV Dance weave their choreography intrinsically with the architecture. Follow along as their bodies move across the stairwells, walls, and rails of an ex-Ford auto plant. PAC Ford Building Project, 2505 SE 11th, 4 pm, $15, povdance.org for dates & times

MONDAY, MARCH 15

FREE VOLUME—The graceful, austere surroundings at the Woods are often the backdrop for gentle folk shows, but this afternoon the loudest band since My Bloody Valentine will shake the paintings off the wall. Following their Sunday night show at the Doug Fir, A Place to Bury Strangers plays a free, early show, brought to you by the good folks at 94.7 KNRK. NL The Woods, 6637 SE Milwaukie, 6 pm, FREE

PLUCKED—While his ukulele gently weeps, Jake Shimabukuro stretches the limits of what four strings can do. His virtuosity brings the familiar Hawaiian instrument out of the realm of hula music and into the world of folk, blues, flamenco, and classical. SK Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $18.50-20, all ages

TUESDAY, MARCH 16

BOURNE AGAIN—Here is all you need to know about the new thriller Green Zone: Matt Damon stars and Paul Greengrass directs. Yes, those are the dudes who made the best Bourne movies. Set in Baghdad, Green Zone follows a warrant officer (Damon) who goes rogue; expect sharp direction from Greengrass, Damon being all badass, and I don't know, some political commentary or crap like that. EH Various theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes

ART—This month (and continuing through May), Disjecta steps up to fill the void that Portland's art lovers have suffered since the Portland Art Museum ended its biennial exhibition a few years back, with a new, multi-venue contemporary art biennial called PORTLAND2010. The show flaunts work by Tahni Holt, Jenene Nagy, the Oregon Painting Society, and many more. AH Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, through May 30, see portland2010.disjecta.org for a full list of participating artists and galleries

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17

WHISKEY IN THE JAR—Downtown Irish pub Kells kicked off this year's five-day St. Paddy's celebration back on Friday, but the festival's highlight—other than the millions of pipers and dancers and pints of black beer—is Grammy Award sensation Imelda May tonight! (Also, there's a Thin Lizzy cover band.) MD Kells, 112 SW 2nd, festival tent open 10 am-midnight, $20-25

PDX GOT AGT—Join Howie Mandel, Sharon Osbourne, Nick Cannon, and that bitchy Brit who's not Simon Cowell at a free taping of America's Got Talent! Hasselhoff will even be there in spirit when I perform my talent: eating a cheeseburger half-naked off of Howie Mandel's bald, germaphobic head. DB Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, Wed March 17 & Thurs March 18, 1 & 6 pm, FREE