PDX POP—So you like local music, eh? Well, here's your night, then: The CD release party for PDX Pop Now!'s brand-new 2010 compilation (a double-disc album boasting previously unreleased songs from bands like Menomena and Blitzen Trapper), featuring live performances from Deelay Ceelay, Tope, the Angry Orts, and the Great Mundane! Plus, it's all ages—and a mere $10 gets you into the show and a copy of the CD. EH
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 7 pm, $10, all ages

LITERARY CHILI—The IPRC has filled a huge gap in Portland's cook-off scene by introducing the First Annual Chili Cook-Off and Olde Time Auction. Vegan, meat, and veg chili will be judged by local culinary celebs, but even better is the FREE beer and wine with admission. PAC
Independent Publishing Resource Center, 917 SW Oak, #218, 6-9 pm, $5


LUCKY NUMBER—Over the past seven years, Holocene has become a Portland institution, one of the finest clubs in town. Join Holocene in celebrating its seven-year anniversary tonight with a free dance party featuring Miracles Club, Reporter, Operative, and more. Just think: In 11 more years, Holocene will finally be old enough to date you. NL
w/Golden Retriever, Linger & Quiet, Brkfst Sndwch; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, FREE

ALONG CAME DOLLY—If you're at all a fan of Dolly Parton, be it her music, her straight-talkin' wisdom, or her enormous—ahem—hair, you need to do-si-do your ass down to the Mission tonight to experience more than 10 local bands paying tribute to her in a benefit for Siren Nation. ND 
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 9 pm, $12-15


HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY, MERC!—Celebrate 10 LONG YEARS of the Mercury fucking shit up, with a FREE fucking-shit-up birthday party at Rotture! The night starts at 7 pm with a FREE all-ages parking lot party featuring DJs, four-square competitions, and food carts. This will be followed at 10 pm with a FREE 21+ show in the huge room downstairs with music from the Mean Jeans, Seattle's rappy Astronautalis, and the final performance ever of Explode into Colors! BE THERE!! WSH
w/DJs Linoleum, Copy, Dundiggy; Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 7 pm parking lot party (all ages), 10 pm band showcase (21+), FREE

FLOAT—Join a quarter million of your neighbors at the Starlight Parade, a nocturnal floodlit extravaganza with Grand Marshal (here's a head scratcher) Seth Aaron Henderson, winner Project Runway and a resident of Vancouver. Also, ladies? Fleet Week. Sailors. Lots of 'em. You know what to do. SK
W Burnside & 9th to Lincoln High School, 8:30 pm, FREE


RUFF RIDERS—Born Ruffians might get lost in the shuffle of the Canadian indie rock invasion, but do not sleep on this Ontario band. Their sophomore release, Say It, captures the group in their finest moment, cramming countless influences into compact little pop songs. EAC
w/Young Rival, Strange Holiday; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $10-12

EXCLAMATION—Well, Holy Fuck is actually the name of the band, but that's also what you'll be saying once you see the Toronto powerhouse in action. Eschewing pre-programmed loops, the band makes electronic music with live instruments, kickass drums, and a monumental scope of vision. NL
w/Nice Nice, Fake Drugs; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $12-14


FOURTH STEP—Frank Meeink's Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead is a searching and fearless moral inventory of a life that has seen more violence than most of us can imagine. If you were disappointed when James Frey turned out to be full of shit, consider picking up Meeink's autobiography—his journey from Philly street kid to white supremacist leader to recovering addict and motivational speaker is true, compelling stuff. AH
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

SPINNING—Bicycle road racing only gives spectators about 30 seconds of fun when the peloton passes by. The first Monday Gold Sprints stationary bike races, however, allow you to cajole the racers throughout the entire race! PAC
Doug Fir patio, 830 E Burnside, 7 pm (racer registration 6 pm), FREE


BONIN'—Krayzie Bone, Layzie Bone, Bizzy Bone, and Wish Bone changed hiphop forever with mid-'90s hit "Tha Crossroads" (let's see you make a cappella tough), and all of Bones Thugs-n-Harmony are on board tonight—plus Flesh-n-Bone! MS
w/Tragedy; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8 pm, $25-30, all ages

PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST—Almost 10 percent of Oregon's kids are obese—maybe it has something to do with the fact that Portland Public Schools serve pizza every day of the week. Check out the Mercury and Bus Project's Brewhaha on School Food 101: What glop do our kids eat and how can we get more local and organic food into schools without breaking the bank? SM
Backspace, 115 NW 5th, 7 pm, FREE, all ages


SLOW & STEADY—In what is either a booking mistake, or my very own personal post-rock wet dream, Tortoise is taking the tiny stage at the Doug Fir. The Chicago quintet is as influential as they come, with a storied existence that has created—and mastered—entire genres, and they continue to forge new ground with each and every recording. Now if they'd just play Millions Now Living Will Never Die's sprawling 21-minute opener "Djed," I can die a happy man. EAC
w/Das Boton; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $18-20

TANTRUMS—Little parenting tip: The only thing kids need to stay alive is sugar and attention. This year's Rose Festival Junior Parade festivities are sponsored by Juicy Juice, Nesquik, and Tillamook Cheese. So get ready for a bunch of squealing, farty, bedazzled youngsters careening around the Hollywood District. Crepe paper and rosy cheeks abound. JV
Hollywood District, NE 52nd & Sandy, 1 pm, FREE