PARTY MUSIC—Sure, the Coup aren't quite what they used to be. E-Roc is long gone, and DJ Pam the Funkstress no longer tours, but few emcees can command a crowd like the enigmatic Boots Riley. The past few years Boots has been dedicated to Street Sweeper Social Club (with Rage Against the Machine's Tom Morello) but he's currently working on new politically conscious Coup tracks, and perhaps—if you ask nicely enough—he'll play some tonight. EAC
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $18-20

DISGUSTING MAN—Neil Hamburger tells awful jokes between fits of phlegmy coughs and uncomfortable groans—all while cradling at least five mixed drinks with the length of his arm. But don't worry, it's all part of his masterfully crafted (and hilarious) character: "the world's 'worst' stand-up comedian." Mississippi Studios is so intimate Neil may even spill one of his drinks on you—if you're lucky. AM
w/Girl Feelings, Jeff Breakfast; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $12


ART BASH—The institution that brings you the Time-Based Art Festival is turning 15. Stop by PICA's birthday bash for music from Deelay Ceelay, Skeletron, and DJ Beyonda, as well as treats by Saint Cupcake, tacos, Mexican snow cones, and piñatas! SK
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, $5-7

WELL, CELLO—Hot on the heels of Thursday's more dignified (and no doubt jaw-dropping) release show for Portland Cello Project's Thousand Words at the Old Church, PCP throws down one of their infamous dance parties (think covers of Prince, Madonna, George Michael) with special guest vocalists and lots of show-stopping moments. MS
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12-14


FAIR'S FAIR—Street fairs come and go, but for my money, the annual Mississippi Street Fair is funnest and bestest. You've got your adorable children's parade at noon (with bouncy castles!), a local food-tasting tent, a rib eat-off, over 100 vendors, beer garden, and four stages of music, performance, and buffoonery! Get happy... Mississippi style! WSH
N Mississippi (between Fremont & Skidmore), 10 am-9 pm, FREE

MOST OF ALL—Mirah makes a welcome return to Portland in advance of her awesome new single, a reworked dance-party version of "Gone Are the Days." She's got a secret guest in tow—if you haven't already guessed, it's Thao with the Get Down Stay Down! NL
w/Y la Bamba; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $15


GOOOOAAAALLLL!—Still feeling World Cup Fever? The only cure is to join the masses at Pioneer Courthouse Square to watch the final game on the big screen. Will it be Germany? Spain? Looks like crazy Diego Maradona and his Argentine squad are out. No matter who wins, just be sure to leave your damn vuvuzela at home. EAC
Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th, 11:30 am, FREE, all ages

CALL TO ARMS—Hey ladies, do you have your tickets to the gun show? Eh? Eh? Plunk down five bucks and you'll have the right to bear arms at the All-Girl Arm Wrestling Competition. The wrasslin' bonanza has proved extremely popular in the past, so get there early to register for single elimination lock 'n' load strong-arm battles. Now which way to the beach? CF
B Side Tavern, 632 E Burnside, sign up at 5 pm, competition at 6 pm, $5 (proceeds benefit MS Society)


THINK PINK—Previous recordings have been claustrophobically dense, but Before Today, the incredible new album from Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, is a magnificent, multi-hued masterpiece that contains Pink's trademark, warped-pop sensibility and echoes of AM radio's past. NL
w/Puro Instinct, Magic Kids; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12

ENDANGERED—Want to know what the future holds? University of Washington earth and space sciences professor Peter Ward describes what the world will look like in the near and distant future in his book The Flooded Earth. Ward presents worst-case scenario vignettes of life at different low-lying places around the globe—that is, until there's a mass extinction of humans by hydrogen sulfide 300 years from now. SH
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE


UPDATING AUSTEN—Hankering for a taste of Pride and Prejudice that doesn't involve zombies? Allegra Goodman's The Cookbook Collector—which has earned the author comparisons to Jane Austen—is about two young women with two very different approaches to modern life. One works at a tech company; the other, a used bookstore. Social and class comparisons ensue. AH
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

BOGGIS, BUNCE, AND BEAN—Wes Anderson's phenomenal adaptation of Roald Dahl's Fantastic Mr. Fox is funny and sweet and gorgeous and smart. Tonight—as part of Portland Parks and Recreation's great Movies in the Park series—the flick screens outside, underneath the stars, for free, at Oregon Park. Perfect summer events like this one are the reason Portlanders live here, despite it raining for nine goddamn months out of the year. Enjoy. EH
Oregon Park, NE 30th & Oregon, dusk, FREE


DAS BIEB—EEEEEEEEEEE!!! Justin Bieber! OMG, you guys. I mean... c'mon! JUSTIN... BIEBER!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! It's just... I'm like... wow, hahahahahahaaaa! I DON'T KNOW! It's just... you know... with the hair, and the songs, and... just that THING, you know?? OMG, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die, gonna die EEEEEEEE!! JUSTIN BIEBER!!! WSH
w/Sean Kingston; Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 7 pm, $29.50-49.50, all ages

MISS THING—Drag shows can often be a little repetitive, but the monthly Miss Thing contest hosted by San Francisco's Trannyshack crew is turning out an interesting challenge for the performers with a Cher vs. Björk theme. Don't know which one you love more? Here's one way to find out. MS
Fez Ballroom, 316 SW 11th, 10 pm, $10