FAREST OF THEM ALL—The Deschutes Brewery Street Fare—no, not fair—will be packed with food carts (Grilled Cheese Grill, Flavour Spot, and more), bands performing onstage (AgesAndAges, Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside), bands performing offstage (Langhorne Slim, Loch Lomond), the greatest substance on earth (beer), and all proceeds benefit charity (Morrison Child and Family Services). EAC
Deschutes Brewery, NW Davis between 10th & 11th, 5-9 pm, $5 (includes food and beer tasters), all ages

PUGS 'N' FUNNY VOICES—It has come to my attention that ever since I found out freakshow comedian Maria Bamford is coming to town, I've been unconsciously imitating her. While mine are nothing special, Bamford's effin' hilarious impersonations of her go-getter sister and her joy-killing mother are not to be missed. Her rubber face and goofy voices will make you cry... tears of funniness. CF
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 8 & 10:30 pm, $15-25


WHIPLASH!—It's true, I love me some Clark County Fair. And for my money, today marks its most cherished event: Family Day Demolition Derby! Bring grandma and the infants as cars race around the arena bashing the ever-loving shit out of each other, and making a pointed statement that bicycles are the true future of transportation. WSH
Clark County Fairgrounds, 17402 NE Delfel, Ridgefield, WA, 2 & 7:30 pm, $10

MUPPETS TAKE THE BRICKS—While clearly not as highly regarded as THE pivotal Muppet movie (ahem, Muppets from Space [ahem, are you kidding?—Eds]), 1984's The Muppets Take Manhattan is a Henson/Oz classic. Grab some grub, lawn chairs, and your favorite furry friends, and get your ass to the square. ND
Pioneer Courthouse Square, SW 6th & Morrison, 7 pm, FREE


NEED FOR SPEED—The Portland Adult Soapbox Derby—with its hand-built, gravity-powered cars and fearless, batshit-crazy drivers—is the grandpappy of weird Portland events. Also, it's the most fun you can have going 40 MPH. PAC
Mt. Tabor Park, SE 60th & Salmon, 10 am-4 pm, FREE

FATTIES ON BIKES—New Belgium Brewing's annual Tour de Fat celebration of beer, bikes, and the bizarre rolls into Waterfront Park this weekend for its familiar zany antics. Wake up early (before noon) to join the costumed bike parade, or get to the party late to soak up the bike contests, dancing, music, and of course, booze. SM
Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito, 10 am-5 pm, ride at 11 am, all ages, FREE


WALK OR RIDE—Southeast is the place to be today: Vendors, vintage clothes, artists, bands, and hipsters galore all turn out for the annual Hawthorne Street Fair. Meanwhile, the Southeast edition of Sunday Parkways weaves through Laurelhurst and Colonel Summers Parks. Get some morning exercise, a drink, and lunch, then browse for vintage booty while listening to great bands. CP
Sunday Parkways, 10 am–3 pm, route & info at; Hawthorne Street Fair, SE Hawthorne between 30th & 50th, 11 am–5 pm, FREE

FALL—Brent Knopf's going to be busy the rest of 2010 with Menomena, but tonight's a rare chance to see his excellent band Ramona Falls, who were responsible for one of last year's most exquisite records, Intuit. No mere side project, Ramona Falls is every bit as deserving of the accolades and attention that Knopf's other band regularly receives. NL
w/Dirty Mittens, Monarques; Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE


SEX BOB-OMB—Based on the fantastic comics by Bryan Lee O'Malley and directed by Edgar Wright—the brilliant guy behind Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and Spaced—the frantic, exuberant, and hilarious Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is nothing short of phenomenal. See it big and see it loud—and don't be surprised if, as soon as it's over, you want to do nothing more than to watch it again. EH
Various theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes

GET STONED—The devil-may-care brewers of Stone Brewing Co. from Escondido, California, invade East Burn with a trio of brews to pair with some tasty grub. Think Arrogant Bastard aged in oak, paired with smoked portobello, and you get the gist of the impending magic. PAC
East Burn, 1800 E Burnside, 7 pm, $15


THE HEAT IS ON—After a few missteps along the way, Hot Hot Heat make their grand return to Portland with a new album, Future Breeds, in tow. If your idea of a good time involves doing the "stand still," steer clear of this Vancouver, BC, band. Tonight is for dancing and dancing only. EAC
w/22-20s, Derby; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13-15

SHOOTING STARS—Dick Pugh, field scientist at PSU's Cascadia Meteorite Laboratory (whoa, PSU has a meteorite laboratory? Sweet!), talks about the flaming pieces of outer space that make their way into our atmosphere. Tonight's OMSI Science Pub, titled Great Balls of Fire, will teach you everything you want to know about meteorites—except maybe how to avoid being crushed to death by one. NL
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 7 pm, $3, 21+


SENSITIVE BOY—What can we say about Alejandro Escovedo that hasn't already been said? The man's as good as it gets songwriter-wise, and his latest album, Street Songs of Love, finds him barreling down boulevards of the human heart with all the anthemic gravitas of Springsteen. NL
w/Amy Cook; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $20, all ages

THRASH—The '86 cult skateboarding movie known as "West Side Story on skateboards," Thrashin' has been made into a live-action musical by the crew who gave you Hot Gun. Be the first to see a production that promises appearances by pro skaters and half-pipes set up in the club! This, you gotta see. MS
w/Problems; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, Wed Aug 18 & Sat Aug 21, 10 pm, Sun Aug 22, 8 pm, $10-12