THE ANSWERDie Antwoord may be (a lot) more art project than authentic Zef—the South African trashy-chic scene around which they fashion their outfits, music, and personas—but that has no bearing on the facts that (A) everyone wants Yo-Landi to be their life partner and (B) this show is gonna be ridiculously fun. MS

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $20-25, all ages

STONERS! FOCUS!—Maybe you've heard about Super High Me, the low-budget documentary in which pot evangelist Doug Benson goes cold turkey off weed for a month, and then smokes himself silly for 30 more days? Well, now's your chance to catch his standup act. You don't have to be stoned—Benson's funny even if you're sober—but it can't hurt. DT
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 8 & 10:30 pm, $15-20


ART PARTY—For the second fabulous year in a row, the Portland Art Museum turns itself over to the crazy kids at PSU's social practice art program for one brilliant night, called Shine a Light. The artistes put on over a dozen performances throughout the museum, including nude wrestling, beer sampling, and music by Guidance Counselor and Wampire. Michelangelo, et al., would be proud. And drunk. SM
Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park, 6 pm-midnight, $12

SUPERHEROES—They may be taking daily baths in all that Merge Records money these days, but Superchunk is back. With a new album—Majesty Shredding, their first since 2001—and tour, the legendary Chapel Hill indie-rock band brings their fuzzball pop to the Wonder tonight, and they're playing an acoustic in-store set in the afternoon as well! NL
Fabulous Jackpot Records, 203 SW 9th, 3 pm, FREE, all ages; w/Teenage Fanclub, Telekinesis at Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $20-22, 21+


IF IT AIN'T BROKE—The many-tentacled Broken Social Scene is not only still alive, kicking, and making relevant music, the Canadian powerhouse also still puts on one of the most energetic and downright inspiring live shows around. Check it and rep it. ND
w/the Sea and Cake; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $25-28, all ages

CULTURED—Tahni Holt's Culture Machine got a buzz boost at TBA's Ten Tiny Dances, where a rapt audience got a taste of Holt's unique sensibility in a performance involving spandex-clad dancers chatteringly referencing various cultural icons. The dancer/choreographer consistently delivers surprising, relevant work, and her Disjecta show promises to be no exception. AH
Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, Thurs-Sun 8 pm, $15 ($10 artists, students, & seniors)


MAD MEN—So is Joan preggo? Is Peggy gonna stay with that gross turtleneck guy? Will Don's incessant drunkenness and philandering destroy or save Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce? Find out the answers to these and many more questions at the season finale of Mad Men, on the big screen at the Bagdad tonight! Skinny ties and alcoholism optional. WSH
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 10 pm, FREE

POCKET SYMPHONIES—With a melodic sense to rival Brian Wilson's, San Francisco's Kelley Stoltz makes garage-pop records nearly symphonic in nature—all by his lonesome. Check out the man himself, along with his live backing band, as they roll through town supporting Stoltz's latest: To Dreamers, out on Sub Pop. NL
w/Old Light; The Woods, 6637 SE Milwaukie, 9 pm, $8


ART & WAR—Whichever team you're on in the M.I.A. debate (either she's an art school dilettante capitalizing on "radical chic" or she's the only force in Western pop culture suggesting you give a shit about the rest of the world), you can't deny that she started the most danceable conversation about global politics in our time. MS
w/Rye Rye; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 9 pm, $25, all ages; Read our article on M.I.A.

JACKASSERY—The worst day of my month was when I was informed that Jackass 3D would not be screening for critics. Usually that's a bad, bad sign—but with the Jackass crew, I have faith. These half-brilliant, half-idiotic guys have created a slew of fantastically entertaining movies and shows; seeing their inspired antics return to the big screen—and in a nut-smashing three dimensions!—has to be great. And yes, I just used "nut-smashing" as an adjective. EH
Various theaters


TRANSCONTINENTAL HUSTLE—Don't like punk rock? Don't trust gypsies? You should still attend Gogol Bordello's colorful, twirling mess of gypsy-punk enthusiasm, because it's a reminder of why music is fun in the first place. Stop worrying about correctly spoken English, start wearing purple. KO
w/Forro in the Dark; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $23.50, all ages

BEATS—Tonight is the perfect night for some booty banging, yes? And if you're serious about your beats, check out this lineup of nasty-ass and very creative turntablism: Teebs, 12th Planet, Daedelus, and the freaking crazy antics of the Gaslamp Killer, who for all practical purposes creates live mind-blowing mixes and clearly doesn't give a fuck. WSH
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $12-15


POW—Portland's legendary fake wrestling show Portland Organic Wrestling returns for one night to help send off Satyricon in gory, theatrical style. If you missed POW's outrageous costumed antics the first time around, now's your chance to pick up a little local history cred, while saying goodbye to one of Portland's most influential clubs. AH
Satyricon, 125 NW 6th, 8 pm, $7, all ages

HOT LICKS—With a crack team of ace musicians that sound as worn-in and durable as the leather in his cowboy boots, Matthew Houck has made the transition of his band Phosphorescent from lonesome folkie solo meanderings to some of the tightest, shit-kickingest country rock around. With city grit, Southern soul, and heartbreaking melodies, this is one band that can't be ignored. NL
w/Quiet Life; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12-14