GAMEY—Surprising exactly no one, Portland's premier stoner comic, the hilarious Ron Funches, is behind No Pun Intendo, a night of videogame-themed stand-up. Defying all of the stereotypes that accompany "videogames" and "stoner," though, it's a well-organized show with a stellar lineup that includes McSweeney's contributor Mike Drucker and the ever-funny Ian Karmel. AH
Ground Kontrol, 511 NW Couch, 10 pm, FREE

DANCE MINUS DANCE—Ubiquitous guitar-strummer Nick Jaina is getting classy: His new work, performed tonight, is an epic piece based on a poem that will debut on stage in NYC with members of the New York City Ballet. But for the Portland crowd, it's "Dance, Plus Music, Minus Dance." Which means no ballerinas, but an opera singer instead! And a cello! SM
Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta, 8 pm, $10


COOKIN'—It was a year ago that in-demand musician Scott Magee started spinning rare soul 45s under his alter ego DJ Cooky Parker, and tonight marks the one-year anniversary of his kickin' monthly dance party In the Cooky Jar. There will be guest DJs, surprise brass bands, and—naturally—free cookies, so this is one soul shakedown you don't want to miss. NL
The Woods, 6637 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $5

ROCKET MAN—It's summer, which means it's time for big, loud blockbusters—and one of the best of the best is 1996's The Rock, the insane Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer joint starring Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery, and about four billion explosions. This is the sort of ludicrous, balls-out cinema experience that we keep movie theaters around for. EH
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 11 pm, $3


SEACREST "IN"!—For the first time in the history of the universe, the American Idol auditions are coming to Portland! Drive by the Rose Garden today to witness thousands of dreams going down in flames as J.Lo, Steven Tyler, and Randy Jackson desperately search for the next totally forgettable, homogenized singing sensation. WSH
Rose Garden, 1 Winning Way, all day, FREE (to mercilessly laugh and gawk at shattered dreams)

BLUES—In previous years the lineup for the Waterfront Blues Festival has been less than stellar (sorry, Jonny Lang fans). But this year the annual event is packed to the gills with excellent performers, including tonight's big-name headliners: Lucinda Williams and an after-hours set from Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears. EAC
Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito, Fri-Mon, $10/a day, $40 (four-day pass)


THE DAN—You either love Steely Dan, or you hate music. The most divisive band on the planet brings their smooth sounds to town on the Shuffle Diplomacy Twenty Eleven tour. Expect deep cuts and all the hits you love, or hate, from Walter Becker, Donald Fagen, and friends. EAC
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 8 pm, $66.50-108.50, all ages

ROCK BLOCK—Rage in the streets with rockers Red Fang, Danava, Rabbits, Lord Dying, and lots more at East End's second annual block party. There'll be beer, BBQ, more beer, and plenty of rawk. CD
East End, 203 SE Grand, 3 pm, $6


REAL AMERICA—Yeehaw! Get yer pansy ass out to small-town Oregon to celebrate the Fourth of July the way it was meant to be celebrated: with cowboys, funnel cake, steer wrestling, and a "Salute to America" parade. The annual St. Paul Rodeo is less than an hour from Portland, but a world away. SM
St. Paul Rodeo Arena, 20025 4th, St. Paul, parade 10 am, rodeo 1:30 & 7:30 pm, $12-18

BOOM, POW!—Three hotspots for large-scale Independence Day explosions: (1) Trek out to Oaks Park for their Fireworks Spectacular—rides are open until midnight! (2) Head up to Vancouver for an all-day festival at the Fort Vancouver National Site. Gunnysack racing, anyone? (3) Scope out the sparkly spectacles downtown, set off at the close of the Waterfront Blues Festival. JL
Oaks Amusement Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park, 10 pm-midnight, $5; Fort Vancouver National Site, 1001 E 5th, Vancouver, 10:05 pm, $5-7; Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito, 10:05 pm, $10


BLEEP BLOOP—This week OMSI opens Game On 2.0, a massive touring exhibit about videogame history and culture. With over 100 playable games—from familiar classics to the Holodeck-like Virtusphere—Game On offers first-hand experience and appreciation for the 40-year art and science of videogames, all thanks to exhibits designed by London's Barbican Art Gallery. EH
OMSI, 1945 SE Water, 9:30 am-7 pm, $9-12, through Sept 18

RAWK—Fluff up your hair and put on your finest ripped jeans, because the Ultimate Rock Sing-Along is just like a Bon Jovi concert, except you're yelling at a screen. The Hollywood Theatre has generously compiled all your favorite '80s rockers, including hits by AC/DC, Van Halen, and a lot more. CD
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7


TAGGED—With their latest, Suit of Lights, Soft Tags have assembled a terrific and daring album packed with taut, seasoned post-punk. Help them celebrate the record's release tonight, and witness Portland's most prolific and self-sufficient DIY band do things their own way, with amazing results. NL
w/Massive Moth, the Reservations; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $8

PAGINATION—Although more of a forceful justification for the New York Times paywall than a straight behind-the-scenes look, Page One makes an absorbing case for the value of investigative, on-the-ground reporting, with ruthlessly straight shooting media reporter David Carr utterly stealing the show. MS
Fox Tower 10, 846 SW Park, $10.50, see Film Times for showtimes