THE FIX IS OUT—After five glorious years of ass-shakin' shenanigans, hiphop dance party The Fix is going out in style. Join the gang for the final Fix ever with Rev. Shines, DJ Kez, Ohmega Watts, Dundiggy, and special guests Maseo of De La Soul and Rich Medina! Dance! WSH
Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 9 pm, $12

DOUBLE FRANKENSTEIN—The good folks at Cinema 21 are doing their best to remedy this lackluster movie season—by showing two free movies on 35mm! First is Billy Wilder's 1944 classic noir Double Indemnity, followed by the pulpy Hammer horror Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed, starring Peter Cushing as Dr. Frankenstein! EH
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, Wed Feb 29-Thurs March 1, Double Indemnity 7 pm, Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed 9:15 pm, FREE


STRANGE ART—There is no way to describe what Reed Arts Week's Masquerade Ball will be like tonight. LA experimental light-and-electronic-music duo Lucky Dragons are up for the event, performing with equally unpredictable avant-garde pal Rob Walmart, so the only option is: Expect the bizarre. And maybe wear a costume. SM
Reed College Student Union, 3203 SE Woodstock, 9:30 pm, $5

COMEDY JACKPOT—The sprawling extended family that is Portland's sketch comedy scene welcomes another sibling into the fold. Sweat and Road House! The Play veterans Michael Fetters and Shelley McLendon are The Aces, combining to offer a blend of sexy, silly, and extremely tall sketch comedy. BR
Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through March 17, $14-17


LOCAL LOVE—Local bills don't get any better: AU celebrate the release of their magnificent Both Lights album, and Tu Fawning play their only hometown show before the May release of their just-as-magnificent A Monument record. Plus Parenthetical Girls and Grandparents? There's no such thing as too much great local music. NL
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10

DANNY TANNER—"I suck dick for coke" is just the tip of a very vulgar iceberg: In his stand-up act, comedian Bob Saget gleefully mines his squeaky-clean TV persona from such childhood memories as Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos for the filthiest laughs imaginable. AH
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 7 pm, Fri-Sat 7 & 9:30 pm, $27-32

SLAP SHOT—Last time the Seattle Thunderbirds showed their beaks on the Portland Winterhawks' ice, there was an epic stick, helmet, and glove yard sale at the Memorial Coliseum. Plus, our boys walloped the heck outta Seattle by nine points. Let's see some more of that ice hockey action! CF
Memorial Coliseum, 300 N Winning Way, 3 pm, $10-43.50


ONWARD!—Will saxophone-playing stilt-walkers ever get old? Portland's raucous marching band, MarchFourth Marching Band, is getting a little long in the tooth: Today is their ninth birthday blowout party, and they're celebrating with two shows! Even after nearly a decade, no one throws a party like a punk-rock marching band. SM
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 3 pm ($11-14, all ages), 9 pm ($25-40, 21+)

AND FOUND—It's easy to find solace in a sunken cavern of vintage furniture, booze, and low lighting. Easier still when local orchestral rock outfit Lost Lander—fresh off a tour and still-awesome debut—score your Sunday night at Rontoms to great, dramatic effect. All for the just-right price of free. WE
w/Dana Buoy; Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE


SIN—Who loves ya, service industry? Pabst Blue Ribbon and the Portland Mercury, that's who. We're throwing a service industry-appreciation party with music by the Thermals and Red Fang for everyone who's got an OLCC or Oregon Food Handlers' card. Plus dollar beers—and the whole thing's free! You've got to RSVP, though, so do it now. NL
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 8 pm, FREE (RSVP required at

STAND-UP—Every Monday for a full decade, Kevin-Michael Moore has hosted a comedy open mic night at the Boiler Room. Tonight Moore celebrates his 10th anniversary with a handpicked lineup of Portland's best comedians—if you need a crash course in Portland's stand-up scene, look no further. AH
The Boiler Room, 228 NW Davis, 9 pm, FREE


SKINTILLATING—The Nearly Naked 'Bee gives new meaning to that dream where you show up to class naked. Spell a word correctly, keep your clothes. Misspell "onomatopoeia," lose your knickers. Win prizes, watch stripteases, drink courage-fortifying booze—and try not to chuckle when spelling words with double "p"s. CF
Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 8:30 pm, FREE for competitors, $3 for spectators

K-9—Bearded renegade Lt. Jake Wilder doesn't need a partner... and certainly not one who's a dog! 1995's Top Dog, starring Chuck Norris and some dumb dog, is tonight's selection for B-Movie Bingo, where you can win prizes for spotting B-movie clichés as Chuck Norris renegades/dogsits it up. EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7


SONG STORIES—A night of stories and essay, SongStory features Lidia Yuknavitch (The Chronology of Water), Kevin Sampsell (A Common Pornography), Courtenay Hameister (Live Wire!), and a slew of other well-known Portland writers read stories with a music theme. Also performing is Cymbalman—a man covered in cymbals. (Are they symbolic?) SS
Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 7 pm, $5

WILD COMBINATION—Creative think tank Research Club presents a night of cross-discipline entertainment from some of Portland's most innovative projects. Stop-motion animation by Good Night Billygoat, performance art by Oregon Painting Society, minimalist techno by Operative, and more! SS
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $5