TREAT YO' SELF—From Human Giant to Funny People to Parks and Recreation, Aziz Ansari is one of the funniest people working in Hollywood—and also one of the funniest people working the comedy circuit. Tonight he hits Portland to do some stand-up, and you should be there. EH
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $35.75, all ages

RAWK OUT—Blistering heavy rockers Sons of Huns have a ripping new video to premiere at tonight's show. (Spoilers: Fire! Corpses! Fire! Scary men in cloaks! More fire!) Stick around for the fall-through-the-earth's-crust metal of Rabbits, who never fail to pulverize. NL
w/Towers, Turbo Perfecto; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $5


TWIST AND SHOUT—Events at the Eagles Lodge are uniformly fun, but Shout!—a group of DJs, headed up by DJ Drew Groove, spinning mostly '60s-era danceables, from rhythm and blues to girl groups, all on vinyl—would be a safe bet nearly anywhere. So just consider the cheap drinks as the cherry on top. MS
Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $5

PRINCE VS. BOWIE—Bicyclists, it's time to choose sides. Who do you love more: Prince or Bowie? Prove your allegiance by attending either of these two super fun Pedalpalooza rides, dress as any famous '80s pop star, then bike to converge in a dance battle with the other ride. WSH
Team Prince, meet at SE 50th & Division; Team Bowie, meet at SE 31st & Market, 7:30 pm, FREE

STAND-UP—Patton Oswalt's gained big-screen notoriety thanks to roles in Ratatouille and Young Adult, but he's foremost a stand-up with a knack for eviscerating both pop culture's excesses and his own geeky tendencies. The chance to see him in a club this small is a no-brainer for comedy fans. AH
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $30-35


R.I.P. MCA—It was only a few months ago that Adam Yauch died. Remember his music with Sabotage: Beastie Boys Tribute, which will feature sets from Dr. Theopolis, DJ Gregarious, Pinehurst Kids, plus Nathanial and the Hornblowers—featuring members of the Decemberists, Blue Skies for Black Hearts, the Jackmormons, and more. EH
Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $10, all ages

JUST SAY NO—In its fifth year of sprawling across St. Johns, NoFest is a delightful collision of music, art, and grumpy natives wondering what the fuck is making all that racket on Lombard. With close to 100 acts playing, you ought to find something pleasant all over the neighborhood. DCT
Various locations, downtown St. Johns, 11 am-2 am, FREE

HOT BIKE FUN—Today is the day where you just want to sit in the sun, drink a beer, and watch some ridiculous tall-bike jousting. Amiright? Good thing it's Multnomah County Bike Fair, the grand-a-palooza all-day party marking the end of June bike fest Pedalpalooza. Pack the shades and helmet. SM
SE 12th & Alder, 2-8 pm, FREE


BETTER THAN CHURCH—The Doug Fir's summer patio series of free shows kicks off this afternoon with sets from the Tumblers and Jason Dodson of the Maldives. With food and drink specials, good music, and plenty of sunshine, there's nothing not to love about Pickin' on Sundays. NL
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 3-7 pm, FREE

SUDS—There is arguably no better use of a summer afternoon than drinking good beer in the sunshine, and the North American Organic Brewers Fest wants to help you to do just that—so they've lined up more than 50 organic brews from around the country to get you started. AH
Overlook Park, N Fremont & Interstate, Fri-Sat noon-9 pm, Sun noon-6 pm, FREE admission, $6 mug, $1 tasting tokens


BITCH, MOVIES!—Time to clock out early. Tonight Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin, and Jane Fonda are all in one place as Bitch magazine screens the star-packed OMG-you-haven't-seen-it? workin'-gals classic Nine to Five at Mississippi Studios for the monthly CineBitch movie night. SM
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 7 pm, $5-10

ROLLER DERBY BINGO—The roller gals of the Rose City Rollers are raising cash for their all-star traveling skaters with a fun night of bingo, plus a photo booth, game footage, and booty shorts galore. Bring your good-luck troll doll (or buy a charm from the derby girls) to win some prizes! CF
Buffalo Gap, 6835 SW Macadam, 6-10 pm (21+ after 9 pm), $5/bingo card


THIS TOWNES' GOT SOUL—There is something really enticing about soulful alt-country. In a town full of indie rock wannabes and hip art rock bands, Justin Townes Earle's visit is a breath of fresh air. It's going to be a boot-stomping, whiskey-sweating good time, y'all. ZP
w/Tristen; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $20

TIMBERQUAKE—The Portland Timbers preseason bout with West Coast rivals San Jose Earthquakes ended in a 1-1 draw, but things are very different now. The Timbers still have a lot to prove after a shaky season, and the Earthquakes are flying high. So if there was ever a time to support your home team? It's NOW. WSH
Jeld-Wen Field, 1844 SW Morrison, 7:30 pm, $25-$135


OOOH! AAAH!—Let's blow some shit up! Bring on the sparkly sky explosions with this grand ol' day of DIY hand maiming. Or! Go watch the pyrotechnic pros at Oaks Park (rides 'til midnight), the Waterfront Blues Fest at the Waterfront, or trek on out to the 'Couv. With these fireworks, you can oooh and aaah your face off, not your fingers! CF
Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park, $5; Tom McCall Waterfront Park, SW Naito, 10 pm, $10 & two cans of food; Ft. Vancouver, 1001 E 5th, Vancouver, 10:05 pm, $5-7

KABOOM—What better way to come down off the explosive holiday than some good ol' American butt rock, courtesy of Street Nights? The sky-gazing synthers of Shadows on Stars also drop their debut record tonight, and their candy gloss will be the perfect aperitif to Street Nights' shredding. NL
w/DJ Jake Morris; Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand, 10 pm, FREE