HOT YACHT—Every time I see YACHT perform it's somehow crazier than the last. More dancing! More sweating! More triangle cultishness! Therefore, expectations for this show, with headliner Hot Chip, are at an all-time high. If the combined frictional forces of their joyous dance tunes literally don't melt the dance floor, I'll go home sad. SM
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $35, all ages

OF MAZ DESTRUCTION—The Iran-born Bay Area comedian Maz Jobrani made a Middle Eastern splash with the Axis of Evil comedy tour. The man's done sets for soldiers, kings, queens, and now you, Portland hipsters. The arched-eyebrowed stand-up's got some funny stuff to say about race and having a bald, bald head. CF
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $22-32


STUNTIN'—Calling all fans of motorcycles, stunts, and The Fast and the Furious! Check out Motorcycle Madness today and Saturday at PIR, where the best stunt riders in the world compete to see who's the best at wheelies, drifting, acrobatics, and insane motorbike trickery. Plus a sport bike display, beer garden, MX racing, and more! WSH
Portland International Raceway, 1940 N Victory, Fri-Sat 5-10 pm, $10-20

BUCKING BRONCHOS—If you're looking for needle-red rock, Broncho rip through their garage pop nuggets at full throttle. In their wake, the Oklahoma band will leave behind swinging hips, smiling faces, snapping fingers, and possibly a grease stain or two. NL
w/Bad Weather California, the Lovely Bad Things, Jaret Ferratusco; Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9 pm, $10


RIVALRY—Though our Portland Timbers still hover at the bottom of the Western Conference standings, it's a good thing we're not fair-weather fans! That's why our boys will need all our support as they face those #3-ranked despicable Seattle Sounders. Let's scream them all the way back up I-5! WSH
Jeld-Wen Field, 1844 SW Morrison, 12:30 pm, $25-135, broadcast on NBC

TRIPLE THREAT—Nurses make a welcome return to the local stage! Last year, the art rockers released Dracula, a record that found the headrush-inducing zone between pretty, balmy pop and chopped-and-screwed dance beats. With the bill rounded out by hometown acts like the tangled, terrific Aan and the buttrock blitz of Hookers, this is the place to be. NL
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $11

XOXO—The tech/innovation-oriented XOXO Fest sold out on Kickstarter in two days, so if you don't already have a badge, you're probably not getting into Community creator Dan Harmon's keynote speech. HOWEVER! The fest offers plenty of free film, music, and gaming events, including an artist market, featuring food carts and a full lineup of readings by Reading Frenzy authors. AH
XOXO market at YU, 800 SE 10th, Fri-Sun 9:30 am-6 pm, FREE, see for details


OSCAR WAO—Author Junot Díaz won a Pulitzer Prize for his great 2008 novel The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, a funny, insightful read about a chubby Dominican nerd and his family. Now Díaz returns to short stories with This Is How You Lose Her. AH
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 7 pm, $26.95 (includes a copy of book)

CUCKOO FOR KESEY—Ken Kesey was a goddamn Oregon treasure, and tonight's booze-fueled bash celebrates the 50th anniversary of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, with festivities hosted by Matt Love and Kick Ass Oregon History's Doug Kenck-Crispin, and music by 1939 Ensemble. AH
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 7:30 pm, $6-8


SEVEN—Akira Kurosawa's phenomenal Seven Samurai has been respected, studied, ripped off, remade, and—most importantly—enjoyed for 58 years. This weekend, you can see this classic as you were meant to, on 35mm, at the Hollywood Theatre! EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Sat-Mon, see Movie Times for showtimes, $5-7

GENTLE REMINDER—It's been nine long years since the Jealous Sound released their last album, but the Los Angeles group dropped A Gentle Reminder this year, which sees them back in form. With echoes of Sunny Day Real Estate's Jeremy Enigk and Death Cab, they're going to make Bunk's sandwiches a bit difficult to swallow past that lump in your throat. CF
w/Daytrader; Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9 pm, $10-12


MAYORAL INQUISITION!—Normally, when we do endorsement interviews, we pack candidates into our most claustrophobic conference room and shut the door until it's done. Not this time. When we chat with mayoral finalists Charlie Hales and Jefferson Smith, we'd like YOU to join us. So we're having it at a bar and inviting special guests to ask questions, too. Including yours! DCT
Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 8:30 pm, FREE, 21+

LOST SUMMER—Summer's almost over, and if you haven't seen Lost Lander you've failed as a Portlander. They're one of our city's breakout artists of 2012, and for good reason! Their debut album, DRRT, features some damn infectious tunes—they'll get you out of your seat regardless of your mood. So go see 'em and redeem your rep. LC
w/Ravenna Woods, Royal Canoe; Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9 pm, $10


VHS—Seattle's beloved Scarecrow Video is coming to Portland—for a one-night-only presentation of weird crap culled from their massive VHS collection! All of it's grouped around the theme Sports, Leisure, and Videotape, and we'll leave it at this: Both "the human drama of athletic competition" and "full-frontal male nudity" are promised. EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7

THIS IS WAR—Because it is the only truly useful information on the planet (and beyond!), tonight's trivia battle will consist only of Star Wars-related facts! The Mercury is putting forth our most formidable team of asthmatic weaklings to retain the championship crown, which has been, is, and ever shall be OURS. Proof: Their team name is Samuel L. Jaxxon. MS
CANCELLED Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 8 pm, FREE