VEEP!—Here's why vice-presidential debates are the greatest debates: (1) They tend to be nastier and pull fewer punches compared to the stately affair that is the presidential debate, and (2) they could not be more irrelevant. So grab a drink, and laugh your ass off as VP "Crazy" Joe Biden takes on wannabe Paul "I'm a Liar" Ryan! WSH
Back Stage Bar, 3702 SE Hawthorne, doors 5 pm, debate 6 pm (get there early!), FREE, 21+

GOTHAM ROCKS—Two great New York bands have teamed up for a joint tour that lands in Portland tonight. Hospitality's self-titled debut is a fetching, exuberant record that's smartly poppy without being precious. And TEEN's In Limbo is equal parts sunshine and murk, with terrific melodies atop a roiling, occasionally trippy wash of sound. NL
w/Minden; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12


CHO—Margaret Cho is a legitimately groundbreaking comedian. Sure, she's openly bisexual (or "just slutty," as she famously phrased it) and an outspoken LGBT advocate, and she's got a crazy Korean mom and a history of body image and substance abuse issues. More than anything else, though, her career is defined by one crucial fact: She's damn funny. AH
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $27.50-32.50

COOKY DANCE—Every month, DJ Cooky Parker breaks out his old soul 45s for a sweaty-dancin' goodtime in the Eagles Lodge, home to enough American flags to turn even Benedict Arnold patriotic. The drinks are criminally cheap, the tunes are astoundingly good, and the crowd is surprisingly un-cruisey. SM
Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $5, 21+


WORDSTOCK—Portland's annual festival boasts themes of sex and dystopia this year, plus the usual book lover's happy place of panels, readings, and general book-wallowing. AND! Join the Mercury and The Stranger at the Jack London for an unofficial afterparty with drink specials and a no-holds-barred storytelling face-off that pits Stranger writers against Mercury staff, where deep, dark youthful indiscretions will be revealed. AH
Wordstock, Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE MLK, Sat-Sun 10 am-6 pm,; afterparty at the Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th, Sat 8 pm, FREE, 21+

NO SLEEP—Capping off a week of design-related festivities is shoe store/party maker Solestruck's Déjà Vu, celebrating the one-year anniversary of their location with fashion from near and far (Hello Eliza, Degen, Stolen Girlfriends Club), a jewelry installation, plus live music from ass-kickers YACHT and White Rainbow, followed by an afterparty at Dig a Pony. MS
The Spot, 2401 N Harding, 7 pm, $15-18; afterparty at Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand


BOO—A beloved Halloween-season tradition for families and stoners alike, FrightTown is one of the largest and best-produced basement-dwelling haunted houses around. Reel from horror to horror with three themed productions: a museum of the grotesque, the frontlines of a zombie plague, and the self-explanatory "Black Box." Eeeeeeeeek! MS
Memorial Coliseum, 300 Winning Way, 7-10 pm, through Oct 31, $15-20, complete schedule at

ZOMBIE TIME—After a mostly lackluster second season, zombies gonna be losin' some heads in the season three premiere of The Walking Dead! Expect a not-so-safe new hidey-hole for the survivors, the mysterious Michonne, and LOTS of crushed, blood-squirting zombie skulls. (It's extra fun watching the carnage on the big screen at the Hollywood!) WSH
Hosted by cortandfatboy, Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7 pm, FREE, 21+


RHYMES WITH RHYMES—Grimes, the alter ego of Canadian musician Claire Boucher, makes dancey electronica full of gothy high-pitched girliness, evocations of Twins Cocteau and Aphex, and hooks a'plenty. Her chosen name is a gross misnomer—just look to her recent album, Visions, a pretty effin' spectacular record that's polished and sugary. No dirt there. CF
w/Elite Gymnastics, Myths; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $16-18

IAN MALCOLM—Few blockbusters are as much fun—and have held up as well—as Jurassic Park, Steven Spielberg's popcorn epic about what happens when velociraptors get into kitchens. See it this week as it was meant to be seen—on a big screen, in 35mm, with the T. rex's roars cranked up to rattle your brain. EH
Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark, see Movie Times for showtimes, $4


OBAMA > OSAMA—The second of three presidential debates is about domestic and foreign policy, which means Barack Obama will have even more time to boast about the slaying of Osama bin Laden, while also explaining why he'll be way better than Willard Romney for the 99 percent of Americans who aren't stinking rich plutocrats. DCT
Back Stage Bar, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 6 pm, FREE, 21+

WHAT AILS YA—Cure the weekday blues with a free show put together by the folks at OPBmusic, starring three fine Oregon bands. Battleme offer soaring, lockstep pop-rock; XDS spikes your drink with acid-dipped freakwave; and Monoplane's rusted-out jams sprawl like tangled weeds. Your Tuesday just got more rocking. NL
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, FREE


STRIPPAHS, BOOZE, HISTORY—Things you'll learn from the Historic Strip Club Tour from local podcast Kick Ass Oregon History: how to hold your booze; how to invert your shimmy on one of three stripper poles in the party bus; the more you give to strippers, the fewer clothes they'll wear; and oh yeah, probably some history. CF
Meet at Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th, 6:15 pm, $35, 21+

JIVE AND WAIL—The cool, smoky R&B of Nick Waterhouse has all of its vintage accoutrements perfectly on display, but Waterhouse is no blast from the past. By injecting his soul shakedowns with sweat, tears, and even a little blood, these lost-in-time sounds have never sounded more alive. NL
w/Allah-Las, DJ Beyondadoubt; Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 9 pm, $10