COMEDY—Lonnie Bruhn has been offending Portland audiences since the current crop of comics was knee-high to a mic stand. Tonight he's recording a brand-new Kickstarter-funded stand-up album, full of long-form jokes drawn from his experiences with relationships, fatherhood, and cerebral palsy. AH
Star Theater 13 NW 6th, 8 pm, $10-12

FILM—How do you fund a new theater marquee? You make a Kickstarter offer that film lovers can't refuse. Tonight's screening of The Godfather on pristine 35mm film was hand selected by generous donors to the Hollywood's restoration project, but it's a prize we all can enjoy. That's what you call a win-win-win situation! MS
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7


DANCE PARTY—After a triumphant debut, dance night Laid Out is back and ready to party. Whether you're "qweer" or just "dancey," your booty won't be able to sit still to the drrrty cutz from the likes of DJ Gossip Cat and SPF666. Needless to say, tonight Holocene will put the "gay" back in "gay dance party." RF
w/DJs Pocket Rock-It, Misti Miller; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $3 (FREE before 10 pm)

COMEDY—Not to sound dirty, but Demetri Martin's a man with many funny outlets. The Daily Show contributor and Conan O'Brien writer is all over town this week, with his stand-up show tonight and a reading on Saturday to promote his eclectic book Point Your Face at This, a collection of wordplay and visual jokes. CF
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 7:30 pm, $35, all ages; book reading on Sat March 30, Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 2 pm, FREE


METAL—You'd better start growing your hair and practicing your metal face because the competition will be thick and fierce at the formidable Metal Alliance Tour, featuring unfuckwithable acts like, I dunno, Anthrax, along with Exodus, High on Fire, and the last day of having fully functional eardrums. MS
w/Municipal Waste, Holy Grail; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 6 pm, $32-37, all ages

MUSIC—He's best known as the Monkee with the wool hat and legit songwriting chops ("Papa Gene's Blues," "You Just May Be the One") but Michael Nesmith is nothing less than a true renaissance man, responsible for songs, novels, films, and much more. Don't miss this ultra-rare appearance as he plays choice chestnuts from his excellent and varied solo career. NL
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $39.50-42, all ages

FILM—After showing They Live and The Thing, the Hollywood Theatre ends its John Carpenter series with a 35mm print of the '80s classic Big Trouble in Little China! It's a loose, funny, fast action comedy that features a smartass Kurt Russell, evil monsters, preposterous kung fu, and an amazing theme song... sung by Carpenter himself. Don't miss this. EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Fri-Sun 9:45 pm, also Sat-Sun 3:30 pm, $7


OLD-TIME ROCK 'N' ROLL—Bob Seger, the grizzled rocker beloved by your mother-in-law's boyfriend, grudgingly leaves the comfort of Detroit to spend one night in Portland (and a bunch of other cities). Seger hasn't released new music in seven years or so, but who cares about new music? You want to bask in the hits, and Seger's got plenty. DVH
w/Joe Walsh; Rose Garden, 1 Center Ct, 8 pm, $45-$97

COMEDY—One of the most promising young comics touring the stage today, Hannibal Buress is a former 30 Rock/SNL writer whose stand-up pairs a relaxed, low-key delivery with whip-smart observations about pop culture, technology, and the burden of being named "Hannibal." AH
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $20-25, all ages

SILENT DANCE PARTY—Well, this sounds interesting. Grab a set of wireless headphones, pick a live DJ channel, and get to dancing by yourself at Silent Disco. Wanna talk to your BFF? Then take the cans off. The silent dance night gives you the inner groove to shake it like nobody's watching, or nobody's there to hear a tree fall in the forest, or something... CF
w/DJ Danny K; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 10 pm, $10-15


TELEVISION—Going outside is for idiots. Tonight, the inexplicably popular The Walking Dead finally ends its latest season—but once you're done rolling your eyes through that, Game of Thrones, a show featuring actual plots and characters that people actually care about, kicks off its long-awaited third season! Get ready for some blood and some boobs, my friends, because we're heading back to Westeros! EH
The Walking Dead on AMC at 9 pm, Game of Thrones on HBO at 9 pm, your TV, FREE (if you have AMC and HBO)

MUSIC—Tonight's homecoming show follows Wooden Indian Burial Ground's month-long tour, in which they brought their dark, twisted, freakout garage-psych to unsuspecting citizens. Now's your chance to see one of Portland's most hallucinatory bands for free and get your mind blown. NL
w/Genders; Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE


SCIENCE PUB—Join neurologist Holly Hinson for Eyes without a Face: A Neurologist's Experience of Face Blindness, a science pub examining what happens when people can't recognize faces, a condition called face blindness. Have fun, and try not to mistake your wife for a hat. NG
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 7 pm, $5

FILM—The polarizing (but wildly entertaining and thought-provoking) Spring Breakers is director Harmony Korine's "mainstream" feature—and wow! You'll be thinking about its deft combination of horror and comedy for days. Former Disney princesses Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens are great, and James Franco as the corn-rowed rapper "Alien" is a revelation. Put your judgmental nature on "pause" and go see it. WSH
Various theaters, see Film Times


MUSIC—Despite working alongside a list of hiphop's A-listers—including, um, Kanye and Jay-Z—Talib Kweli's never found the recognition he deserves. That doesn't stop him from putting on fantastic shows—and tonight should be no exception, since Kweli, the muscle behind Black Star and Reflection Eternal, will be backed by a live band. EH
w/Cory Mo, the Chicarones, DJ Biggz; Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez, 8 pm, $22-25, all ages

GOTH ROCK—The entrancing, nightmarish pop of Esben and the Witch casts a spell over you, as the Brighton, UK trio walks that fine line between delicate and destructive. Their latest, Wash the Sins Not Only the Face, is filled with roiling drama, and their live show is like being situated in the eye of an enormous hurricane—in other words, a real rush. NL
w/Heliotropes, Nightmare Fortress; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $12