DUCK PENIS.

Google it.

I'll wait.

You're back? CRAZY, RIGHT? I learned about the anatomical oddity that is the duck penis from Portland cartoonist Jeannette Langmead, whose forthcoming The Animal Penis Activity Book will be available on Monday, April 1. Recently, Langmead and I chatted about animal genitalia, her fondness for drawing scientific diagrams, and her side business selling custom-made paper dolls.

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Animal "activities": "The book is going to have Connect the Dots, Color by Number, a 'Where's Waldo' kind of search page. There's an animal called the enchidna. Their penises have four heads on them. So I'm making a thing where you can put different hats on it."

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Girl ducks: "The vagina is really swirly and has lots of dead ends."

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Science!: "In school, it wasn't easy for me to do well in science. I don't think the way kids that are good at science think—I'm really visual. So I always liked the drawings in the books, but I wasn't really encouraged in that field. But then I got older, and realized that I could still enjoy science, and I still like the diagrams and stuff. I started drawing them a couple years ago, I would put pictures on my blog of the plant cell, or different scientific things, and then I realized, that could be a book!" [Langmead's Science You Forgot: An Illustrated Guide to Your Elementary School Textbook is available through her website.]

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Comics: "I like drawing self-deprecating comics. I have always, since high school, worked out things I am feeling through drawing comics. It's a good way to say something and have people pay attention, instead of just ranting on the internet or putting [up] a Facebook status."

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Custom paper dolls: "I take commissions—you could get your band, or wedding photo, kids.... If anyone wants a paper doll of themselves, it gets creepy real fast. People like how I draw bodies and people kind of realistically, versus the traditional, old-fashioned paper doll that looks like a fashion model."

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See more of Jeannette Langmead's work—and order a paper doll of yourself, creeper—at jimmyjanesays.com.