YOU KNOW WHAT they say: Be careful what you wish for. Sure, winning marriage equality means being able to take care of your loved ones in the event of illness or death and legitimizes your relationship and identity in the eyes of the law, but marriage has been taking its toll on straights for centuries, and it will do the same to you, gays—beware! Namely: It will turn you into a boring dweeb.

To demonstrate, we've made you these paper dolls whose outfits can easily be switched from pre-married (fun! Zany! Hip!) to post-married (norm to the core!). Switch 'em back and forth at your leisure to help you decide if you are really ready to trade in your thrice-weekly nights at the club for Friday nights internet-researching mulch delivery.

  • Illustration by Kjersti Faret, Photo by Tim Gunther
  • Illustration by Kjersti Faret, Photo by Tim Gunther

Gay paper dolls played by clothing designer Brady Lange (bradylange.com), who also designed their underwear, and actor/model Isaac Frank (optionmodelandmedia.com). Lesbian paper dolls played by Rasha and Vanna Pecoraro of the Dapper D line of men's style clothing for women (facebook.com/dapperdfashions).