Any PDX resident who isn't comatose needs not be reminded of this recent dismal distinction: Portland has the highest unemployment rate in the nation.

People are turning down the heat in the midst of frigid weather, in order to save a few bucks for rent money. Wallets are thinner than a bargain pizza, and even worse? There's not a thing that can be done until this whole recession nonsense subsides.

Tragically, in the face of such catastrophe, city pride takes an unfair beating. And since we don't have the ability or resources to change our situation anyway, it's important to keep morale high until the economy changes. For that reason, I went in search of Portland distinctions that are similar to that of "Highest Unemployment"--but with a positive spin. A spin intended to combat the pale pallor left in the wake of that awful smudge on our community. For example

The Portland Steel Bridge is the only telescoping vertical lift bridge… in the world. Yes it is, and yes, that little thrill you just felt shooting down your back is a bit of good ol’ Portland Pride comin’ back. Immerse yourself in it. Relish it. Let the accomplishments that I am about to unveil wash over you like a bath of fine wine, nurturing your shattered loyalty back to health, until you can once again agree that Portland is the greatest city… in the world.