Whether you simply took one too many trips through the buffet line or went balls out and ordered the level-20 spicy Pad Thai at Lemongrass, indigestion is a side effect that each and every Extreme Eater must at one time or another face. An Oprah-style compulsive food rampage usually brings on this ailment. The result: When you eat too much, too fast, you pay for it. Doing so causes an excess of stomach acid that in turn causes stomachaches, bloating, gas, nausea, heartburn, and the loosening of one's belt. But don't worry; you don't have to suffer or resort to putting on extra-large sweat pants and lying on the couch in agony. Here are some simple ways to help your stomach forgive you for your gluttonous sins.
SODA 'N WATER—Take a half teaspoon of baking soda and mix it into a half glass of water. Drink this concoction every two hours until symptoms stop. Usually just one dose will do the trick unless you've completely gorged yourself, fatass.
BANANAS—If, despite your engorged abdomen, the thought of food still isn't making you vomit in your mouth, try eating a banana. They have a natural antacid effect on the body. Ground dried bananas also do the trick.
CHAMOMILE TEA—Make yourself a soothing cup of chamomile tea. For extra effectiveness, add one teaspoon of licorice root into the mix. These herbs will help reduce the stomach acid while the warm water relaxes your irritated innards.
GINGER ROOT—Eat a teaspoon of fresh grated ginger root or take a 1,000 milligram ginger-root powder capsule. Eating a small piece of ginger with a bit of salt before meals can help prevent indigestion all together. Ginger can sometimes be even more effective than an over-the-counter or prescription antacid.
ANTACIDS—How do you spell relief? R-o-l-a-i-d-s. Or any other of the numerous over-the-counter antacids out there. They're cheap and they work. A small roll of them fits easily in a purse or a coat pocket for when you're eating out or when you're on the go.
GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY—The best way to stop stomach maladies is prevention. Have your surgeon cut out part of your tummy, and say "good-bye" to eating that entire box of Ding Dongs. It worked for Carnie Wilson, and it'll work for you, too.