The Garcia girls spent their summer pining after men, losing their virginity, and learning how to drive. This glacially paced little picture follows three generations of Garcia women—excuse me, "girls," all of 'em looking for a man, from 70-year-old Grandma Garcia (Lucy Gallardo) to 17-year-old "Ugly Betty" Garcia (America Ferrera). UB Garcia is itching to lose her virginity to the sexy new boy in town. Her mother, Lolita, works at the most sexually charged butcher shop around, while Grandma Garcia is getting "driving lessons" from the gardener.

The film's most annoying conceit is a frequent harping on an automotive theme: One man suggestively notes, in reference to a car that breaks down, "Whenever they act up, all you need to do is give them a little time and love. Before you know it, they'll be purring like before." Hey—I don't think he's talking about cars anymore. We are also treated to dialogue like:

Sexy New Boy: "Why'd you get in my car?"

Uggo Betty Garcia: "I don't know. I guess I thought you could take me someplace."

With the exception of the three principles (who are too good for this movie), the acting is uniformly flat, the love interests across-the-board charmless, the supporting female cast wooden and unengaging.

There are multiple scenes of women crying because they are so lonely, and writer/director Georgina Riedel's camera just loves to linger on every grimace and tear. It's a bit of a trial. I don't know, maybe some single chicks relate to this kind of thing? But personally, as far as clichéd versions of the single life go, I'll take the one that involves a bottle of wine, a vibrator, and some chocolate over this self-pitying drivel any day.