Portland's contender on fashion design reality show Project Runway, Janeane Marie Ceccanti, was eliminated during last week's episode. I spoke with Janeane several days after it aired and got the lowdown on losing, learning, and moving on.

MERCURY: Are you relieved?

JANEANE MARIE CECCANTI: I don't know if it's relief. It's really hard to watch that happen on TV and know that millions of people are watching you. There are a lot of people out there putting things on blogs, and I'm trying to stay away from it. I'm trying to think of the good things that came from it, and focus on moving on.

What was it like to come back knowing you'd been eliminated?

When I got back I kind of felt like I was in recovery. I kind of got shaken up back there and I realized that I still have a lot to learn.

What, in your mind, are the reasons you were eliminated?

I was super-inconsistent with everything I was doing, and I just couldn't put my blinders on. It was really weird working around the other designers and I couldn't focus. Now I just need to think about what the fuck I'm doing. I'm trying to take better care of myself, exercise, eat right—all the things that I think affected my decision-making skills. I'm looking into jobs right now because I really need to pay my bills. And I always want to be making things. I'm working on a collaborative project with [jewelry designer] Andy Lifschutz. I just want to get creative again. I haven't been able to enjoy fashion for the last three months, and I feel like I have to re-brand myself because I didn't do well on a TV show. And I feel like I let Portland down. I want to be great, but right now I'm just good... with a sprinkling of horrible mistakes made on national television.

Tell me about the Bryant Park collection you had to design even after you'd been eliminated.

I didn't put on a big show and I probably should have. When I was making that collection I was hounding myself with my own thoughts. Before I knew it I was completely stuck and I couldn't see anything. I was just in a really bad spot when I was making that.

I did a poll on the Mercury blog asking whether Portland should "adopt" Vancouver's Seth Aaron Henderson as our new "hometown" competitor. What do you think?

The thing about him is he's fast. After watching the show my opinion has really changed. When I first met him I thought he was really obnoxious, and I tried to be as far away from him as possible. I still don't like his style, personally, but he has the personality and skill set that that show needs.