#39: Guy with the Abraham Lincoln hat riding a tall bike
#38: Tweaker dancing with scarves around the Skidmore Fountain
#37: Commissioner Dan Saltzman
#36: Single mother of three inconsolably sobbing in front of Hot Dog on a Stick at the Lloyd Mall
#35: The Oregonian "Foodday" circular
#34: Anyone standing or walking on the Burnside Bridge right now
#33: KATU anchor Steve Dunn
#32: The guy standing on a corner swinging the "Mattress Closeout!" sign
#31: 10th grader Len Hadley who has been turned down six times by Jenny Mitchell (who's, like, the hottest senior at Franklin High)
#30: The Willamette River
#29: OregonLive commenters
#28: Fire twirlers
#27: Anyone trying to protest NE Alberta's Last Thursday
#26: Victoria Taft
#25: The cast and crew of Leverage
#24: The Portland Mercury editorial board
#23: Harvey Johnson—he's just a random senior citizen
#22: Craig Marquardo of the Portland Music Awards
#21: The sleeping kid from the mattress commercial
#20: The Real World: Portland
#19: Daniel Baldwin
#18: TriMet riders
#17: The guy who sits in the front of the bus and tells everyone how he'd run the city
#16: Byron Beck/Storm Large (tie)
#15: Park rangers who try to stop people from drinking in Colonel Summers Park
#14: The Rose Princess
#13: Charlie Hales
#12: Toddlers in cargo bikes
#11: Oregonian publisher, N. Christian Anderson III
#10: Anyone dressed as a pirate
#9: Jefferson Smith
#8: Jefferson Smith's dog's Twitter account
#7: Those employees of the Portland Spirit that try to get you on board by standing at the top of the ramp and just lurking there all creepy style
#6: Artisanal vegans
#5: Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls graduates
#4: Razor blade and deodorant manufacturers
#3. Fluoride conspiracy theorists
#2. Packy the elephant
And the #1 "least influential person in Portland" is...