HI PERVERTS! My name is Bri Pruett (local funny lady and author of the popular Mercury blog column, "Let's Do It by Bri Pruett"), and I'm honored to be the author of this year's Portland Mercury sex survey. I will be your Cock Cousteau (or if you'd prefer, Jacques Coust-HO), setting off on an exciting sexploration into the murky darkness of Portland's coital depths.

If you've never filled out a Mercury sex survey before, rest assured that it's completely anonymous—so don't be shy! (God knows I'm not.) Simply fill out the form linked below by FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24 (NOW EXTENDED TO OCT 31!)... and be honest with yourself (and me!). You can fill it out alone (or with a horny friend)—but really think about your complicated sexuality, your sexual relationship with yourself, why you choose the sex partners you do, and, as always... butt stuff. We'll have all the results for you in our HUMP!/Sex Issue on WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 5—so have fun, and LET'S GET DIRTY!

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