HEAR YE, HEAR YE, PORTLAND! Steven Seagal is coming to town THIS SUNDAY, MAY 28! Omigod, isn't that awesome? It's like a visit by the Pope... times a thousand! Therefore, it's the least we can do to dedicate an entire issue of the Mercury to this amazing Renaissance man. Sure, you may know Steven Seagal as the star of over 475 bajillion kick-ass action movies. (You didn't? Then check out film shorts!) But did you know he's also an environmentalist and accomplished blues musician? (No? See our interview with Steven Seagal below!) And did you know he's a 7th Dan black belt in Akido who is partially responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs? (No? See timeline) And did you know that everyone at the Mercury loves Steven "The Great One" Seagal SO MUCH that we actually dressed up like him and had a competition to see who could be the best "Steven Seagal"? (NO?? Well, for god's sake see the Steven Seagal Challenge!)

So worship along with us, and don't forget to attend the Steven Seagal Blues Band performance at Dante's on Sunday, May 28! Haaaai-YAH!