Lil Wayne Award for Best Stand-Up Comedian Alive: Louis C.K.: I saw loads of terrific comedy this year and none of it held a candle to C.K. at the Aladdin. The two hours felt like five minutes—it was that delirious. And real—at no show did I learn more about myself.

Local Comic Who Needs to Get off His Grandma's Couch in Vancouver and Move to LA and Become Famous Already: Richard Bain. Dude, you are so funny it's not funny. And I don't want you to go, but I want you to get the dough you deserve. Or at least not to look back and wonder. Capeesh?

Three Young Comics Ready to Take the Next Step: Phil Schallberger, Anthony Lopez, Christian Ricketts. Give these guys shows.

Scaring the White Man with Dreams of Revolution: Hari Kondabolu. If you don't like to learn something while you laugh, then fuck you too.

Best Show Put on by Andy Wood: The Cavalcade that closed Bridgetown this year was astounding. Every comic that went up took the needle a little higher—as in sports, when players perform up to the competition. Kyle Kinane, James Adomian, Tig Notaro, Hannibal Buress, Brody Stevens, Greg Behrendt, Maria Bamford, and more.

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Venue That Needs to Drop the Two-Item Minimum Because it Scares People Off: Helium Comedy Club. As long as the drinks stay reasonably priced—which they are—patrons are likely to buy AT LEAST two over the course of a 2.5-hour show. Telling them they must strikes a rebellious nerve.

Venue That Needs to Have Local Headliners One Night a Week: Helium Comedy Club. One-off shows could and would create local comedy stars. They have the talent. They're here. They're ready.