THURSDAY, JANUARY 15

9:00 NBC THE OFFICE

Andy finds out about Dwight's affair with Angela. NERD FIGHT! NERD FIGHT! NERD FIGHT!

9:30 NBC 30 ROCK

When the cast comes down with the flu, Dr. Spaceman gives them another reason to sue for malpractice.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 16

9:00 NBC FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

Season premiere! This listing is solely here as a public service for those who give two craps about this show.

10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

Season return! The BSG gang discovers their precious "Earth" isn't all it's cracked up to be. No "s," Herlock!

SATURDAY, JANUARY 17

11:00 FOX TALKSHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN

Be sure to check out this occasionally wildly funny late-night gabfest.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 18

7:00 FOX HOLE IN THE WALL

Male strippers take on Maxim models to see who can shove themselves into a hole. Heh. "Hole."

10:00 HBO FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS

Season premiere! Bret and Jemaine handle their own management after Murray spends too much time with another band. Feelings hurter!

MONDAY, JANUARY 19

9:00 FOX 24

Jack goes to work for the new lady president... LADY PRESIDENT? What's next? Lady doctors?!

9:00 MTV BROMANCE

Brody takes the boys camping, and gives them a special "surprise" in their tents. No, this isn't homoerotic at all.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20

10:00 am ABC/NBC INAUGURATION COVERAGE

All-day coverage of Barack Obama's inauguration and America getting drunk off its ass.

9:00 MTV BE THE CHANGE INAUGURAL BALL

MTV travels to Washington, DC, Miami, and New Orleans to see how these cities will be doing beer bongs.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21

8:00 ABC LOST

Season premiere! Kate refuses to return to the island after learning they just want her to take her shirt off.

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

In order to shake up the stale format, producers will let people audition for the sole purpose of humiliating themselves. Wait....