REMEMBER THAT KID in high school who was a little too into Twilight, or maybe Harry Potter? They lived and breathed their fanaticism, lugging around a duffel bag full of fan magazines and conspiracy theories.

That was me in 1990. Only I was obsessed with Twin Peaks.

Did I make my friends hang out at the gas station dressed as the Log Lady? Yes, I did. Did I carry around a tape recorder like Special Agent Dale Cooper? [Hangs head.] While in hindsight my level of enthusiasm might have been a little, uh, extreme, I regret nothing about loving the shit out of that short-lived TV show, which went off the air in June of 1991. It was damn good. And like a prophecy from the Red Room, 25 years later Twin Peaks is more popular than ever, especially in Portland: From trivia nights and dance parties to film nights and band names, this town is bananas for the David Lynch and Mark Frost series. It's not so surprising, really, considering the show's aesthetic pretty much embodies Portland today: Pendleton sweaters, taxidermy, girls with HUGE glasses, and an obsession with percolators filled with coffee as black as midnight on a moonless night. Twin Peaks invented the very idea of keeping it weird and eating lots of doughnuts.

In that spirit, Floating World Comics is throwing a 25th anniversary art exhibit, filled with fan art by amazing artists like Y: The Last Man's Pia Guerra, Dan Goldman, Jim Agpalza, Andreis Costa, Justin Hampton, and Matt Haley (who'll be at the reception).

And sure, these fans have chops—but here's what'd be in my own artsy-craftsy duffel bag:

Owl mood ring: In the prequel movie Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, Teresa Banks wears a ring with a green stone. Imagine a fan-art replica, recreated as a mood ring. Red = You're a backward-talking little person in the Red Room. Green = You're horny, Audrey Horne-y. Black = How's Annie, you Black Lodge doppelganger?

Cross-stitch sampler: This might read: "Would You Like to Play with Fire, Little Boy?" Or how about a chestnut from Special Agent Albert Rosenfield: "I Have Seen Some Slip-Shod Backwater Burgs, But This Place Takes the Cake"? Or just check Etsy, where there's a thriving cottage industry of cross-stitched Twin Peaks quotes.

BOBcat taxidermy: Found some taxidermy at the local thrift store? Stick a dirty gray wig and a jean jacket on that baby, and voila! BOBcat, the cutest stuffed demon parasite this side of the Tri-Cities.

Wrapped in plastic raincoat: Clear plastic with a hint of beach rubble, this poncho is an homage to fallen homecoming queen Laura Palmer.

Where's Waldo?: Find that talking bird among the freakshow denizens of the small Washington town in a picture puzzle.

Invitations to Love: The perfect wedding invitations, featuring all the characters from Invitation to Love, the soap opera that plays at all hours on every TV in Twin Peaks.

Well, enough about what's in my duffel bag... let's leave the art to the experts. Aces!