THURSDAY 2/3

5ive STYLE, ADELAIDE
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) One of the most deliciously awkward moments in documentary film history concerns 5ive Style's guitarist, Bill Dolan, who has just failed to maintain an erection for infamous groupie Cynthia PlasterCaster, who was attempting to add him to her pantheon of rock star dick molds including Jimi Hendrix and Jello Biafra. All nonsense involved in her selection aside, it seems symbolic that he choked, as if subconsciously aware of his relative unworthiness. And another thing: What happened to Chicago? Everyone who's from there swears it's ultra cool, and yet they send out a jam band-inspired funk group as an emissary? Try, try again. MARJORIE SKINNER

THE MAKERS, THE BRIEFS, THE VOLUMES
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 15

SEYJANO, WHITE RAINBOW, MARRIAGE, FLIGHT, DEADBIRD, DJ MEGAMOM
(Dunes, 1905 NE MLK) Marriage and Flight here present a traveling road show of experimental performance, video opera, and shimmery, untrained art punk. The two groups perform two movements of a whole dystopian-vaudeville package, Marriage via video projection and love/sex-sick pop songs, and Flight via movement and all of its antecedents. This sort of gallery-borne, multi-media future queer theater rarely finds its way to tour and is not to be missed. SAM MICKENS

MIA DOI TODD, LANGUIS, OVIAN
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) Mia Doi Todd is one of those ice-goddess divas who appeal to sensitive, literate bohos with a weakness for hushed exotica and understated, downtempo beats. Her best-known album, 2002's The Golden State, features instrumental badasses like Nels Cline (guitar), Mitchell Froom (keyboards, harmoniums), and Kraig Grady (glockenspiel). They craft gently bruised, post-Portishead melancholica sure to please public-radio aficionados. Multiply PJ Harvey by Cat Power, add Beth Orton, then divide by Joni Mitchell, and you roughly have an idea of Todd's mannered approach. Her fifth album, Manzanita, is a dusky collection of heartbreaking ballads that sounds like a slightly frayed cashmere sweater feels. Languis' newest material flirts with the fey, frosty indietronica signifiers that have made the Postal Service and the Notwist semi-famous on a medium-sized level. The South Americans' sound is as personal as a myspace.com entry, but much more pleasurable to experience. They incorporate elements of shoegazer rock, a subgenre that flourished in late '80s/early-'90s England. DAVE SEGAL

TSUNAMI BENEFIT FEATURING THE LIFESAVAS, LIGHTHEADED, MOON PATROL, DJ KEZ
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 15

FRIDAY 2/4

APE SHAPE, MOTHER SIBERIA, THE FRIENDS, DRIVER, EXCUSE ME SIR!
(Liberty Hall, 311 N Ivy) Brassy, dance-tastic locals Ape Shape continue their long march toward world domination with pals Mother Siberia ("melodic Russian math rock") and the Friends ("trancey, spooky dance), who might be Quaker but probably aren't. JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS

HUEVOS DIABLOS FEATURING SOLOVOX, CREATURES FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, CAPOEIRA REGIONAL DO BRAZIL, AND MORE
(Bossanova, 722 E Burnside) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 15

BELIEVING IN JUNE, AKIMBO, DEAD LIKE DALLAS
(Solid State, 215 SE 9 th) While I'm violently against gerunds at the beginning of titles, and especially band names (Judging Amy, Watching Ellie), I forgive Believing in June because they make up for it by playing totally great music. The mix of hardcore screaming and heartfelt (but not cheesy) singing combined with heavy guitar and tons of dope changes makes for a band whose album you should really buy (Hope is a Sound) and whose show you shouldn't miss. I'm not even joking. KS

SUFFOCATION, BEHEMOTH, CATTLE DECAPITATION, DEAD UNKNOWN
(Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd Ave) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 15

XPLODING BOYS, RAILER, KUMA
(Sabala's Mt Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne) "The release of fear/ The opening of the heart/ The faith in each other/ This is how the music flows between us."--bio for Bre Loughlin, Kuma vocalist. If celebrity and ego were one in the same, Seattle's Kuma would be the biggest band in the world. Playing a quaintly stale approximation of industrial rock at its commercial heyday (think Nine Inch NailsÉ wait, I mean Stabbing Westward), Kuma's shows are something akin to a fairly well orchestrated exercise in megalomania--the band carts in its own absurd light show and visual effects, with a preening, costumed frontwoman to match. Existing solely in the sports arenas of their own delusion, Kuma are shamelessly poised to take over commercial rock's choppy landscape--though I'm not sure that the rest of the world is ready to party like it's 1996. ZP

SATURDAY 2/5

DEADMANDISCO, DRIVE, EVERYDAY VICTORY, CITYVEIN
(Sabala's Mt Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 15

DEMORALIZER, TYPHOON KILLER, THROWAWAY ANGELS
(Porky's, 835 N Lombard) Demoralizer describes themselves as "four older jaded guys in Portland, Oregon who like to play fast hardcore punk rock music." Brimming with 'tude, Demoralizer have no problem making disparaging remarks about their fans or even the venues that book them. They channel their seething annoyance into short, frantic fits of distortion and screaming. Listening to them is like picking your nose until it bleeds. JWS

IRON LUNG, LORDS OF LIGHT, MUSTAPHAMOND, SKIN CULTURE
(Liberty Hall, 311 N Ivy) Shows like this feel like walking into a tube, glitteringly enclosed by walls of sound. The music is so thick it's almost visible, made out of noise and deceptively intricate texture. Iron Lung are pretty much the shit if you're into a loud, hard, and interesting harcore-ish experience, and the Lords of Light are, well, blindingly loud, and deafeningly absorbing. MS

THE HIDDEN CAMERAS, THE BLOW, CRIME IN CHOIR
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See Music, Pg 17

L.A. GUNS, STORM & THE BALLS, STARANTULA, KLEVELAND
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) With a pedigree that links it to Guns N Roses, the similarly named L.A. Guns are probably doomed to toil in the shadow of Axl's post-L.A. Guns cheese ball success forever. After reuniting and changing their style a tad--though the apple doesn't fall very far from the hard rock/metal tree, they're giving it another go. And who can blame them? After all, for like the first time ever, they are currently more popular than GNR. MS

MANNEQUIN FRONT, DANAVA
(Dunes, 1905 NE MLK) Formerly Walk Walk Pink, Danava is the brainchild of Dusty Sparkles, a retro-glam-experimental-psyche outfit in town that's probably underappreciated. Maybe it's because of how strongly people react to their assault of sounds that are simultaneously familiar and uncomfortable. Some people walk out, some flock mosquito-like to the stage, moon faced. It's the sort of band that you can stand with your arms crossed to, actively "listening" to the music, and be taken seriously by the chick trying to bum one of your cigarettes. But they're really not that cerebral, and deserve all their shows to be thrashy dance orgies where the skinniest beautiful people are getting cut up in the face by sequins and stray belt buckles. Mannequin Front is the latest project from local DJ/fashion plate Brux, whose past endeavors include rich, darkly druggy instrumental music. More of the same? One can hope. MS

WINTERFOLK XVII FEATURING UTAH PHILLIPS, MISTY RIVER
(Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) A hobo, an activist, a teacher, and even a presidential candidate (every year since 1969), Phillips has lived a life deserving of the title "Folk Legend." Though once he toured relentlessly, he's an old boy with a heart condition now and allegedly only plays one show per month. You know the drill, folk junkies: see him while you can. JWS

YOB, TOTIMOSHI, WITCH MOUNTAIN
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) Totimoshi are constructed from many of the same genetic building blocks as most of the decent grunge bands, and have a similar strum and bark to early Soundgarden or Nirvana. Their train chugs with a little more menace though, sort of akin to the later Ozzy-period Black Sabbath or the most concise and clear offerings of the Melvins. Undeniably heavy and huge, Totimoshi definitely transcend their obvious brethren via sheer crushing power. SAM MICKENS

SUNDAY 2/6

TSUNAMI BENEFIT: LEW JONES, THE STRANGE TONES, GINA NOELL, AND MORE
(Berbati's, 10 SW 3rd) If the Xmas tsunami woulda happened in the US, there'd be benefit tours with Toby Keith, statues erected, little blue wave stickers on every car window, the whole filthy shebang. Instead, it killed--mostly--brown people, and Bush had to be shamed into helping. And that just makes efforts like tonight's benefit all the more noble. It's interesting that the people giving the most seem to be those who have the least. (I know kids who make slave wages at coffee shops sending their savings overseas.) Portland's been RULING lately--benefits with Colin Meloy, the Dandy Warhols (who knew they cared about anything?) and this latest one, with local Neil Youngite Lew Jones. ADAM GNADE

SPARKLEHEART'S PURPLE RAIN PARTY FEATURING DJ BEYONDA
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 15

MONDAY 2/7 Ain't nothin' but a muffin.

TUESDAY 2/8

UNWRITTEN LAW, PAINT BY NUMBERS
(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) Even the fiercest tattoos fade. Lost out in the Southern California sun and in the midst of major label restructuring, Unwritten Law almost didn't make it to recording their current, comeback-of-unexpected-terms fifth record Here's To The Mourning. With near cultural ambivalence and physical signs of their 30s beginning to surface, they signed to the same label as Uncle Kracker and wrote a record about the drug addictions they supposedly had while no one was looking. Fresh out of rehab, they win; even in San Diego the marionettes know that pop hits really are like plastic, assembled and not inspired. But at least I liked that Maroon 5 song. The one Mourning track you will inevitably hear against your will for the next six months goes: "You can't save me/ You can't change me." Yeah, I guess you have me there. TREVOR KELLEY See Also Once More With Feeling, pg 25

THE ZUTONS, THE SHORE, THE PEELS
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) I was at my then-girlfriend's place waiting for her to get ready, thumbing through one of her fashion design magazines, when I came across The Zutons. "Here we go again", I mumbled, "another hot-shit garbage garage band." I read on, amazed how these rags can take a 200-word story, put in on the cover, and drag it on over four pages with a clever layout. Why do fashion magazines cover music anyway? You can't cover music with a style-over-substance philosophyÉ but that's another story. Where were we? Ah yes, the Zutons. They sure looked cool in their photo spread. Nice jackets. And the girl was hot. But Jesus, this band is crap. Their '60s name, music, and style belong in an Adam West-era Batman episode. I can see it now: "Holy hype-machine Batman! It's the Zutons!" Grabbing his Bat-Hype-Away Spray West calmly responds, "Don't let their appearance fool you old chum, underneath those cool boots hides a weak musician." ANDREW TONRY See Also Music, Pg 17.

COOLIO, INGRAM HILL, GEOFF BYRD, THE SUPERFICIALS, THE NEW IBERIANS
(Lotus Café, SW 3rd and Salmon) No, I am totally not fucking with you. It's Fat-fucking-Tuesday, and the folks at the questionably named Concept Entertainment Group have with the perfect bill to delight young people everywhere--I mean, who better to ring in Mardi Gras than Grammy Award-winning hiphop superstar Coolio? COOLIO!!! So sure, maybe he's not the most respected star in rap history, and maybe he hasn't released a hit in a decade--but you KNOW he got your Batmitzvah JUMPIN' "back in the day." That shit is "old school"! Right? Right?!?! ZP

WEDNESDAY 2/9

YEAR OF THE COCK: CHINESE NEW YEAR FEATURING KITTY DIGGINS, THE GRAILS
(Slabtown, 1033 NW 16th) Chinese New Years is infinitely cooler than regular New Year's. For instance, does regular New Year's have dragons? I think not. On regular old New Year's, every douchebag yuppie decides, as if they were on some kind of Borg ship with a collective retarded consciousness, to get all wasted and make resolutions to exercise more and get laid. On Chinese New Year, there are dragons. And get this--even though it's the year of the cock, Slabtown deftly avoided the predictable "Year of the Cock rock band" and, instead, will be graced by the return of longtime Portland Burlesque fixture, Kitty Diggins for her first Portland appearance since 2001. Year of the semi-naked lady? Brilliant. KIP BERMAN

THE ZIGGENS, SOUND OF URCHIN
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) Synonymous with Sublime, Skunk Records still develops bands that blend acoustic strums with wise-ass punk and a summer-surfer vibe. A fixture on the Long Beach-based label, The Ziggens made an indelible impression on the late Bradley Nowell, who covered the group's "Big Salty Tears" on Sublime's acoustic album. "I Took My Mom to the Prom," "I Fought the Lawn," and "Burpin' U.S.A." rank among the Ziggens' greatest goofs, but the band's versatility (it ranges from raucous rockabilly romps to a convincing cloning of Judas Priest) makes it (slightly) more than a mere novelty act. ANDREW MILLER