THEY CAME TOGETHER Proof that wonderful, beautiful, hilarious people can totally waste your time!

YOU LIKE AMY POEHLER, right? And Paul Rudd? You probably like Wet Hot American Summer, too. And when you saw the trailer for They Came Together—a new romcom spoof involving all parties above—I bet an optimistic little voice in your head chirped, "We should go see that! How fun! What a delightful summer romp!"

Kill it. Kill the voice.

They Came Together stars Poehler and Rudd, it's directed by David Wain, and it was co-written by Wain and Michael Showalter, who together helmed Wet Hot American Summer. Wain and Showalter reportedly wrote the script years ago, and it's seeing the light of day now because making movies with your friends is just one of those things famous people get to do for fun, like adopting lots of brown babies or banging John Mayer.

All the tropes of the romcom are not-so-lovingly mocked here: Poehler is a klutzy, adorable blonde who runs a quirky candy store! Rudd works for the soul-sucking candy corporation that's gonna destroy her business! They get off on the wrong foot, but then sparks fly!

The problem is that the clichés of romantic comedies are so familiar at this point they don't particularly need parodying. We all know how romcoms work; that knowledge doesn't stop us from enjoying them. Do I believe in fate and one-true-love and happily-ever-after? Of course not! I am an adult woman! But I like pretending that one day Paul Rudd and I will find each other. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

 So They Came Together is a sendup of something that doesn't need to be sent. Worse—far worse, especially given the level of talent involved—it's just dull. Thanks for nothing, all of everyone's favorite people.