The last time I was stressed, exhausted, and depressed, I didn't fuck a sixteen-year-old who came to me seeking advice. I took a vacation. But then I'm not a bible-humping, family-values-espousing, gay-bashing pastor of some shitty megachurch.

Once again: if kids got raped at Denny's as often as they get raped in churches—if kids got raped at Denny's half as often as they get raped in churches—people would call CPS on parents foolish or reckless enough to take their kids to Denny's. It would be illegal to take your kids to Denny's.