Dear Not: Before you resort to drastic measures, such as DTMFA, there are a few things to consider. First, allow me to piss off my granola feminist friends, in our culture men have been taught that a smoothly shaved kitty is attractive, but to ask or expect that their girlfriend shave is to ask for a lecture on "objectification". Are you presenting a clean freshly groomed fancy feast for him? Second, have you tasted yourself lately? If you taste funky to yourself, it's probably worse for him. Does your boyfriend understand that his relationship with you and all access to your kitty is hanging in the balance? Lastly, give him a chance to explain his history of kitty licking experiences. Perhaps he almost choked to death on a particularly vicious fur ball. To make him face the ,ermh, issue, I would immediately implement a strict "Oral for all or none" policy. Maybe there is a solution, maybe he was abused, maybe he's selfish, maybe he's gay, maybe you do need to DTMFA, regardless; if you love him, show him the respect of full disclosure and demand the same. -Genuinely Nadi

Damn, Nadi, I haven't read such a total load of ignoramus crap like that in a while. You're quite the enlightened one, aren't you? You know it too, that's why you think you're qualified to give so much (retch) advice. Here's some advice for YOU dumbass, UPGRADE YOUR FRICKIN READING LIST.

Dear Skank,

I'm going to give you the advice you don't want to hear: You should be honest w/ your partner and not lie and cheat you SKANK. That's why he has cancer is because he's in a deceit filled relationship. We know when we're being lied to and cheated on and it kills people inside to have these kinds of relationships. He deserves better than that, try honesty. if you need to get your groove on, DO IT but do it honestly. Your talk therapy can't work if you can't tell the friggin truth. When you lie, he can't make an informed decision about how to conduct his life because he's not given all the information he needs, he needs to know the truth and it's not that big a deal. he can deal w/ it. don't hide the truth deeper and harder for fuck's sake. let it out and love him on every level and as deep as you can and your kid too until he dies but let the man die with dignity and respect w/ the truth and feel the loss of what wasn't the truth (faithfulness). Good luck. I know it's hard but you should buck up and do it today and tell your cheating boyfriend that his continued deciet to his wife while he's grooving w/ you might just kill her from the inside out (cancer). brutal but true.

Sojourner58: I work in a womens bookstore. I've sold more copies of "Cunt" than most people have seen. I've been with men, I've been with women, and I've seen more than enough to comment on this post. Books are my passion, books can start revolutions, but books don't fix your life for you. In this instance we know more about NOTs situation than any empowerment guru did when writing whatever PC drivel it is you seem to espouse. So, get your head out from the pages the latest self-help you're reading and get it between someones thighs; or are you not qualified to speak on the matter? If you want to know what the people want, ask them. You'll get a more realistic response than from a PhD manipulating statistics to prove a point. Your brash words were premature at best, rude to say the least, so please consider yourself a DMFA.

U765,

You failed ethics.

Shawna

Dan, I have to say, I love your stuff, and my girlfriend and I listen to your podcast all the time, but holy fucking god you have some strange followers.