Agreed w/ #1 re:ISWAO. If anyone's story doesn't pass the "smell test", it's hers. I've known many gay people over the years, and not one has ever mentioned being excommed by their parents since something like 1997. Being gay is so normal now that even everyone's Republic Senator/Congressman is gay. If the losing funding is a real possibility, how about ISWAO clue her gay friend into a little something called a FAFSA and a J-O-B? God-danged Hipsters.

Leave it to ?pqM)mH{5i*7V7wVNiH?tcvUk'j>tH\VF5!V+00HY?jgK7@iA<_(B0Mii*:@e9Iq to lack any understanding of what it's like to be gay. However, it has a point. Sure he can continue to take the free ride at college but if it makes his life into a french farce full of deceit, it's not worth it. There are college loans and less prestigious universities with equally credible educations. All the deception is just not worth the price to his character, and deciding that anyone "owes" you because they are a bastard is a slippery slope indeed.

MRB - sadly people do still disown their kids for being gay, TG, CD, etc. It's shitty, but it happens.

It's great that your gay friends haven't experienced this. Sometimes its just the fear of what may happen... this fear comes from a flippant comment from a parent that says "I'll disown you if you are gay"... that shit sticks and weighs on the psyche of someone coming out.

Granted reality is generally shock etc at first and then they come around later because they do love their kids. But if your parents are fundamentalist bigoted assholes they have been known to disown kids.

"Dolled Up" is full of shit.

When you spend thousands of dollars on one of those life-sized, hard-to-hide "Real Dolls", it's means you've totally given up on REAL WOMEN all together.

touche, my indecipherable troll.

Re: Take the money/forget the guilt
I had to lie to my parents until my college graduation day about the fact that I smoked. You post-ers must have had some really easy lives and coming outs. ISWAO should tell her faking friend to "Take the money,". His parents deserve the deception because of their incredible bigotry. They don't deserve a second chance at responding favorably to a child's coming out. They probably think it's their fault, or each the other's fault, anyway, so your adding to the marital pressures in THEIR lives is really not something you need to take on. Tell your parents on your graduation day, or the day you move out of their house, with your own job. Fuck them, Man. Get your degree, THEN come out and give them the opportunity to do the right thing. When they don't, don't be shocked. But always leave them an excuse to change their minds about the situation. With two gay sons, maybe they will.

"Everyone loses except the gay man without balls to stand up to his parents."

I see someone has no clue. There's the bigoted, unloved parents and the casual friend, who somebody feels deserves protection from their "stress". I wish you could see the homophobia that obviously exists in your latest posting . How do you figure your loving family situation with two Lesbian parents could bear any resemblance to this woman's friend? Your parents were gay - not you. It rarely happens that gay parents threaten to cut off their straight children's financial support and love. You had a whole family, buddy, not the judgmental assholes this kid has for parents. You should thank your Lesbian parents every day for supplying you with a "normal" childhood. I definitely stand by my earlier comment. Asshole homophobic parents are still asshole homophobes! Screw them if they can't get over it. BUT - do try to help them get over it as you mature and become your own success.

Dan neglected to address LAD's question about whether his lesbian friend's statements were offensive. It is the way comments are received, not the intent behind them, that determines offensiveness and verbal harassment. Just because a person is gay doesn't give them the right to use terminology in a disrespectful way.

?pqM)mH{5i*7V7wVNiH?tcvUk'j>tH\VF5!V+00HY?jgK7@iA<_(B0Mii*:@e9Iq, Dan's advice in ISWAO's case was simply brilliant. Sometimes you're right. This time you're wrong. And, I neither expect nor need your validation of my opinion, so don't bother.

In regards to ISWAO....
what about this girl's poor boyfriend? Her real life one. The one that she should be spending her time and energy with. How does he feel about his woman being in a false relationship and taking time away from his reality? He may be totally fine with it, but it seems like he is the one shorted, and going to come out like a dick if he says, 'know what, lady...I put 100% of my energy into us....but you only put in 70%...is that fair? How 'bout I scale back and find myself a nice lesbian to spend my time with, would you like that?'

Poor Eldred seems to sport a rather strong level of Heterophobia to infer that Electrolemming is in no way affected by his parents' lifestyle choice, me thinks. I'm quite certain he has enough experience to draw an intelligent opinion on the matter... or is Eldred a HomoSnob? Every disagreement with someone elses' lifestyle, or avenue in dealing with such, does not make someone a " 'phobe"- Homo or otherwise.

As for the friend of ISWAO, who is to tell you how, why, or when to "come out". Carry on as you choose to. You only have one set of parents in this life, and only one life to live-so carry on as your comfort level allows you to.