Dan,
your advice to threesome girl is completely crappy. It's obvious that their relationship will NEVER work out long or even medium term. It's been how long of being 'closed' and already she's itching for a threesome? And that's not even getting to his getting 'round ways. Are you sure these aren't those two kids from The Real World?

Hello Dan,

Regarding the comment made by Girl Crushing On Hot Bus Stop Man:

Gotta tell you - as a single male in my late 40's - I've NEVER been around a more boring, dull, stupid population of women as the women here in Oregon. This letter just adds perfectly to what I've been saying for years about the women in this area.

I've lived in S. America, Asia, Australia and traveled Europe, etc. Without a doubt the women of Oregon are the bottom of the barrel.

Example: I went to Europe a while back on a solo trip, landing in London and then went over to Holland. 10 days in total. In 10 days I dated... as in dinner, no sex... 3 women. All 3 started the conversation with me! The first was the gal that checked me into my hotel. After we got business done she very casually and with utmost confindence said, "hey, I'm getting off work here in a few minutes... want to go grab some dinner?" The second was a gal that walked right up to me on a downtown London street and asked me a question about the building I was looking at (smart gal, she came up with a safe approach angle) which of course started the conversation. We had dinner that night and did end up making out a little. The third was in Holland. I was walking down the street when a woman called to me from a second story window, asking me what I was doing. Turned out she was a tourist from Brazil. We had a beer and conversation but nothing more simply becasue I was in a hurry and couldn't stay.

I've lived here in Portland for 20 years now and I've had this sort of thing happen only twice and both make for a VERY interesting point:

The first was a woman that came up to me in a department store, holding a mens shirt. She asked me, "excuse me, may I hold this shirt up to your shoulders to see if it will fit the man I'm buying it for... he's about your size..." Long story short, she was in Portland on business from Israel. We had coffee together, where she admitted that the story about the shirt was made up. She saw me, wanted to meet and made up the whole thing on the fly to approach me. Smart, confindent and creative... everything women of Oregon ARE NOT.

The second time it happened in the Lloyd center. I was sitting with a cup of coffee and a paper when this stunningly beautiful blond walks right up to me, full eye contact, and asked me if she could see the movie section of the paper. She sat down right next to me and started to pretend she was interested in the paper but I could tell she just wanted to talk. At once I noticed the accent... she was from France.

See the pattern here? American women are clueless and the rest of the women in the world get it, that they have a role to play in the mating dance. Every country I've lived in was this way, the women were creative, confident and not consumed by fear.

I could go on and on Dan with this subject... but why? The women of this area are wayyyy too stupid for my taste. As soon as my finances improve it is my plan to bail out of Portland and the ONLY reason I'll be leaving is this one: the women of Oregon suck... and not in a good way.

Kevin

I dunno Kevin... I'm an average looking guy and have dated plenty in the Portland area. From your tale it doesn't seem like you want to make the 1st contact. That worked for me, "Hi...." and into a conversation you go.

I'm not married and happy... and to a local gal too.

also kevin,

this letter could be from anywhere in the u.s. savage love is syndicated.

if you've been here for 20 years it also means you're probably old and creepy and no one wants to talk to you now anyway.

xoxo

Hmmm, Kevin, the fact that women in Oregon don't want to talk to you tells me they're pretty smart. You seem like an arrogant prick.

I'm a woman from the East Bay of SF. I have been surprised at the difference in the women here in Portland as well. I think there is a lot of pressure on Oregon women to live up to a demure, never aggressive, aloof romantic role.
I have not figured out if I think it's just Portland culture or if it really is an outdated conformity impulse.

Hey, Kevin. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe it's not the girls of Portland that are flawed, but maybe it's you?

Just sayin..........

Wow, Kevin, I think I can speak for many Oregon women when I say you are a prick and "boring" Oregon women are going to have one less sleazy egomaniac to deal with in our state when you finally leave.

It's unfortunately a common egomaniac's complaint: "Women don't come up to me and seduce me, therefore the women here are stupid and boring."

Yeah, because it couldn't POSSIBLY be anything about you...

MRB, i felt the advice to OMT was sound, considering the overall duration of the relationship isn't given. so maybe they are doomed, should that stop them from exploring this avenue? isn't that kind of DS's point?

KEB: doubleyouteefuck, write your own letter! if Dan wants to bore and alienate his portland readership, he might even publish it.

Oh and to Kevin (and all the other people I see routinely commenting to Savage Love with the assumption it is local) not only is it syndicated like manderpants said, to anywhere in the U.S. Many readers and writers to this column are from Canada. So this person might not even be a U.S. citizen.

Kevin -

How many times have you walked up to a woman and balls out just started talking to her? Also, I'd like to see a picture of you, because I have a feeling that might have something to do with why women don't just fall all over themselves trying to talk to you. Yeah, probably a combination of that and the "i am an asshole" personality you exude.

loving the "kevinisanasshole" post name.

i was waiting for someone to call him out, FOR NOT GETTING LAID ONE TIME! in his date filled trip to Europe. looks like the women of portland are actually intuitive, they knew right off the bat what the others only knew after spending a little time and having a drink, which was, "no way do i want to hook up with this dude."

jesus christ, kevin! you've been here 20 years and you don't know that dan lives in seattle and that people from all over the country right to him?

and are you fucking kidding me?! the women of portland are fucking beautiful and amazing.