So would a lesbian have to go out with a male, or a gay have to go out with a female? Using your logic they really shouldn't even categorize themselves as female seeking female or male seeking male in their online dating profile.

Think you missed the mark on this one Mr Savage. We all have our preferences and desires and that doesn't make us an asshole. I don't date lesbians, not my cup of tea, doesn't mean I don't support them in their efforts for equal rights, and doesn't mean I don't have lesbian friends.

As the writer stated the whole idea of a dating site is to post yourself and your preferences and to help avoid and reduce those awkward encounters.

so the fixated dude: i have the opposite problem of your wife and my husband has been patient and learned about me. after 10 years of marriage i have days when i can't do what he wants, but we find ways to please us both. one of those ways was he asking me to look at him. that's it. simple. it took time and focus for me to do so, and i still close my sometimes, but he has helped me realize when i am not connecting. it could be as simple as you being vulnerable and asking for something without the pressure of expectation. complicated maybe, worth it completely