I recently stumbled on an Instagram account of a young woman whoâs a âknife playâ enthusiast. I consider myself sex-positive, but I must say I was disturbed by the images. I was also shocked that I didnât know this was a thing! But of course itâs a thing cuz everything is a thing, right? I donât want to outlaw it, and everyone has a right to their kinks, I guess, but Iâm so wigged out! I guess I donât have a question here besides wondering what you think about it. Ick!
Canât Understand This
Everything is, indeed, a thing, CUT, and intimidating things like knivesâobjects that symbolize power, danger, and controlâare far likelier to become things (fetishized objects) than nonthreatening things like waffle irons or useless things like moderate Republicans. As for what I think about knife play, well, itâs definitely not for me. But if someone wants to...
I recently stumbled on an Instagram account of a young woman whoâs a âknife playâ enthusiast. I consider myself sex-positive, but I must say I was disturbed by the images. I was also shocked that I didnât know this was a thing! But of course itâs a thing cuz everything is a thing, right? I donât want to outlaw it, and everyone has a right to their kinks, I guess, but Iâm so wigged out! I guess I donât have a question here besides wondering what you think about it. Ick!
Canât Understand This
Everything is, indeed, a thing, CUT, and intimidating things like knivesâobjects that symbolize power, danger, and controlâare far likelier to become things (fetishized objects) than nonthreatening things like waffle irons or useless things like moderate Republicans. As for what I think about knife play, well, itâs definitely not for me. But if someone wants to incorporate knife play into their sex life safely, responsibly, and consensually, and package it in a manner that doesnât violate Instagramâs terms of service, I donât have a problem with it.
Iâm a first-time dog owner. I LOVE my dog, but hereâs the thing: he sleeps in my bed with me, and would probably whine and bark at this point and wake up my roommates if I kicked him out of the room. Is it wrong to masturbate when my dog is on my bed? Heâs not always sleeping. Could this damage my pup in some way?
Conundrums Are Tacky
Dogs have been watching humans fuck for 30,000 years. So long as your pup is a passive observer and not (ick) an active participant, heâll be fine and you wonât go to jail.
About three years ago my wife declared an end to sex. (We are in our late sixties.) However, she insists on âtaking one for the teamâ once a month. She makes it clear she derives no enjoyment from sex, but I cannot refuse to participate without a huge fight. I find that I have developed a sexual attraction to other men my age. Every man I encounter in gay bathhouses considers oral sex safe, and no one wants to use a condom. Most of these guys seem very experienced and are not worried about STDs from oral sex. Should I be worried?
Concerned Older Man Enquires
You can get all sorts of things from giving and receiving oral sex: gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, etc. My advice: stop having sex with your wife so long as youâre seeking out men in bathhouses. I suspect your wife is only fucking you once a month to keep you from straying (which youâre already doing) because she believesâincorrectlyâthat if you arenât getting sex at home, COME, youâll leave her to go get sex. Thatâs obviously not the caseâyouâre getting sex elsewhere without her knowledge (or her consent and putting her at risk in the process) and you arenât leaving. Tell her youâre also done with straight sex (the âstraightâ can be silent), have one last huge fight, and then go suck some dick.
Gay and married here. My dad got on Instagram, followed me and some of my friends, and then requested to follow a friend whose account is private. My friend stupidly approved my dadâs request without realizing it was my dad. There were some R-rated photographs of my husband and me having some pretty kinky (and pretty great) sex with our friend on his account. My dad called me screaming about how he and my late mom were faithful to each other for 42 years and thatâs what marriage means and my husband and I shouldnât have gotten married at all if we were going to be having sex with other people. Just before my mother died she confided in me about an affair sheâd had and asked me to retrieve and destroy some letters and cards, which I did. Iâve had three screaming fights with my dad about monogamy in the last two weeks. Can I tell him his marriage wasnât monogamous?
Son Blows Friend, Dad Blows Gasket
No, SBFDBG, you canât. Your mom isnât around to defend herself and, absent proof of the affair, your dad will think itâs a spiteful (and incredibly) hurtful lie. And even if you had proof, SBFDBG, telling your father about your motherâs affair would be an act of grotesque cruelty. You have every right to be angryâyour dad is being an assholeâbut poisoning his memories of his marriage isnât a proportionate response to his assholery. Instead, tell your dad your sex life is none of his business and that you refuse to discuss it with him any further. If he brings it up, hang up. Repeat as necessary.
Your mom wanted to take this to the grave and you promised herâon her deathbedâthat you would help her do just that. Donât betray her.
Iâm a 52-year-old woman who has been in an open relationship with my partner for 2.5 years. Great sex, intense connection, best friends! Early on he expressed a desire for me to play with his ass. At first I did, but I was never comfortable with it. Iâm not into anal myself and doing anal with him turns me off. Over the course of the 2.5 years heâs become very frustrated. I tell him to go find a woman or a man who enjoys ass as much as he does and play with them. We are in an open relationship, after all. He claims he has no time to date anyone else. We are at a crossroad in our relationship. Heâs suggesting that I play with his ass or we go our separate ways. Itâs ludicrous to me that it has come to this. Any words of wisdom?
Ass Play Or Else
Your âbest friendâ is a petulant, manipulative asshole. DTMFA.
The idea of spanking my wife really captures my sexual imagination. I donât want to inflict a lot of pain, but seeing her over my lap with a bit of pink on her ass is the hottest thing in the world to me. My wife indulged me onceâit was incredibly hot for me, but she found it degrading and refuses to do it again. By her own admission, I treat her with respect in our day-to-day lives. I would be ecstatic even if we only did this rarely, say, once a month. Again, no dice from the wifeâitâs degrading, end of discussion. Otherwise, our sex life is fantastic. I believe that Dear Prudence would side with my wife: if you donât enjoy it, donât do it. My view is that itâs a small inconvenience that brings your husband an incredible amount of joy, so of course you should do it! What are your thoughts?
Wife Is So Hot Over The Knee
If I were your wife, WISHOTK, your argument would carry the dayâbut Iâm not your wife. Your wife is your wife and she gave spanking a try, found it degrading in a non-sexy way, and doesnât want to do it again. And thatâs the not-the-least-bit-pink end of it. Being treated with respect by our romantic partnersâliterally the bare-ass minimumâdoesnât obligate us to indulge our partners in sex acts we find unpleasant, degrading, or disgusting. So youâll have to settle for that otherwise fantastic sex life.