I wish I had a better question, but this is all I have: My friends and I were discussing the nuances of a straight orgy (a roughly equal number of male and female participants) versus a gang bang (one woman, many men), and we observed that there is no proper name for a one man, many women situation. The internet tells me itās just a āreverse gang bang,ā which is a very disappointing name. Can we please establish a new one?
Curious Nonparticipant
How does āpussy riotā grab you? And while weāre on the subject of flipping gendered expressions: A number of years ago, I was asked to come up with a female version of āsausage fest.ā Sticking with the food theme, I proposed āclam bake.ā Still mystified as to why it didnāt catch on.
Married from 28 to 36, single the last three years, and celibate...
I wish I had a better question, but this is all I have: My friends and I were discussing the nuances of a straight orgy (a roughly equal number of male and female participants) versus a gang bang (one woman, many men), and we observed that there is no proper name for a one man, many women situation. The internet tells me itās just a āreverse gang bang,ā which is a very disappointing name. Can we please establish a new one?
Curious Nonparticipant
How does āpussy riotā grab you? And while weāre on the subject of flipping gendered expressions: A number of years ago, I was asked to come up with a female version of āsausage fest.ā Sticking with the food theme, I proposed āclam bake.ā Still mystified as to why it didnāt catch on.
Married from 28 to 36, single the last three years, and celibate most of the last couple years. The last two years of my marriage were sexless, and I saw professionals until I was priced out. I could probably earn twice what Iām making now if I moved away, but my current job gives me the flexibility to spend afternoons with my young kids. Last year, I had a brief relationship (that included the best sex of my life), but I ended it because I needed more me time. So I lack the willingness or the confidence to be in a relationship, and I donāt have the cash to see pros. Iām not fussed by this. Should I be concerned about my celibacy?
Absolutely Not Getting Sex Today
Seeing as your celibacy is intermittent and by your own choice (you walked away from the best sex of your life for me time? What kind of mid-ā90s Oprah bullshit is that?), ANGST, youāre unlikely to wind up hanging out on an āincelā forum filled with angry, violent, socially maladapted men who blame the fact that they canāt get laid on women and feminism. So long as you continue to take personal responsibility for all the sex youāre not having, thereās nothing to be concerned about.
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. When we first got together, we had sex every day. Then it dwindled. We had major problems along the way and separated this winter. During that time, he went to another state. We got back together long-distance, and I received many letters from him saying how much he wanted to have sex with me. He moved back two weeks ago, and weāve had sex only twice. He used to say he wanted me to make the first move. But if he really wanted me, wouldnāt he make a move? I feel so neglected, yet he claims he loves me. Please give me some insight.
No Sex For Weeks
He says he wants sex (with you), but he doesnāt make a move. You say you want sex (with him), but you donāt make a move. So how about this: The next few times you want sex, NSFW, make a move. If he fucks you two out of three times, maybe he was telling you the truth when he said heād like you to make the first move. If he rebuffs you every time, then he doesnāt want to have sex with youāand youāll have to make a move to end this relationship.
Iām a youngish man whoās been in a loving relationship with an older woman for a year. The only area where the age difference comes into play is largely unspoken between usāshe wants kids. All of her friends are having kids, and sheās nearing the end of her childbearing years. Iām nowhere near ready, and I sometimes question whether I want to be monogamous to any one person for life. We never discuss it, but I can tell how deeply this bothers her and that in her ideal world, Iād be ready to start planning a future with her. Iām racked with guilt at the possibility that by the time Iām ready for that level of commitment (or, worse, by the time I realize I never will be), sheāll be biologically incapable of having kids, which is really important to her. This is all complicated by the fact that this is easily the most loving, trusting, respectful relationship Iāve ever been in.
Bond Afflicted By Years
Speak, BABY: āLook, you want kids. Iām not ready, and Iām not sure Iāll ever be ready. Also, Iām not sure about lifelong monogamy. If we need to part ways so you can find someone who wants the same things you do and wants them now, Iāll be devastated but Iāll understand.ā
Iām a 22-year-old woman living in Central Asia doing development work. There are 14 other expats within an hour or two of me, but eight of them are in relationships. Iāve always been the āsingle friend,ā and normally I donāt mind. But being surrounded by couples right now has been a tax on my mental health. I know Iām young and should be focusing on this amazing opportunity and my career, but I canāt help but feel lonely at times, especially since I canāt speak the local language well and these 14 other people are the only ones near me who speak English. What should I do?
Single Anonymous Dame
Math. Eight of the 14 nearby English-speaking expats are in relationships. That means six nearby expats are single like you, SAD. Itās not a lot of people to choose from in real numbers, I realize, but as a percentageā40 percent of nearby expats are singleāitās statistically significant, as the social scientists say. Focus on this opportunity, focus on your career, and focus on that statistically significant number of nearby singles.
My husband and I listen to your podcast, and weāve become a little more open about our wants and needs as a result. Anyway, on two recent occasions, he shaved his pubes. Both times, I told him it was a turnoff. Like, I literally dried up when I saw it. He said he understood, yet now heās about to take a trip with friends and heās done it again. Chest too this time. Assuming heās telling the truth and this manscaping effort is not about other women (eye roll), is it fair to me? Can I ask him to stop? Shouldnāt he want to stop if itās a turnoff for me? Do I have to be GGG on this too?
Not Into Bald Balls
I feel your painābut itās not hair removal thatās an issue in my relationship, but hair growth. My husband would like to have a mustache. Itās his face (those are your husbandās balls), and he can do what he wants with his face (your husband can do what he wants with his balls). But I can do what I want with my face, and my face doesnāt touch his when thereās a mustache on it. Similarly, NIBB, youāre not obligated to touch your husband and/or his junk when heās pubeless. When Iām out of town, my husband will grow a mustache, and I donāt complain or temporarily unfollow him on Instagram. So long as your husbandās balls/crotch/chest are smooth only when theyāre far from you, it shouldnāt be an issue in your marriageāunlike the fact that you think he might be fucking or thinking of fucking other women. Thatās an issue youāre going to want to address.