This woman has gone down on me (Iâm a man) more than half a dozen times in the last three months. Each time seems to be better than the previous! She does not want reciprocation. She has also turned down all my offers for intercourse. As far as I know, she is heterosexual just like me. Whatâs with that? I am getting a bit frustrated. Also, without going all the way, am I considered a friend with benefits?
Just Chilling
Youâre benefiting hereâthink of all those blowjobsâand if sheâs a friend, you can certainly regard yourself as a friend with benefits. As for why she wonât allow you to eat her pussy or put your dick in her pussy, JC, well, a few things spring to mind. She could be one of those women who love to give head and thatâs all she wants from a casual partner. Or she...
This woman has gone down on me (Iâm a man) more than half a dozen times in the last three months. Each time seems to be better than the previous! She does not want reciprocation. She has also turned down all my offers for intercourse. As far as I know, she is heterosexual just like me. Whatâs with that? I am getting a bit frustrated. Also, without going all the way, am I considered a friend with benefits?
Just Chilling
Youâre benefiting hereâthink of all those blowjobsâand if sheâs a friend, you can certainly regard yourself as a friend with benefits. As for why she wonât allow you to eat her pussy or put your dick in her pussy, JC, well, a few things spring to mind. She could be one of those women who love to give head and thatâs all she wants from a casual partner. Or she could have body-image issues. Or she could have a sexually transmitted infection, and sheâd rather blow than disclose. Or she might be unwilling to risk pregnancy. Or she could be intersex or trans and not ready to open up. If you enjoy those blowjobsâif youâre enjoying the benefitsâfocus on what you are getting instead of what youâre not.
My husband and I occasionally go to swingers clubs. I donât want to inadvertently fuck any Trump supporters, but I hate the idea of bringing up politics and killing everyoneâs collective boner. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Occasionally Swinging
At the risk of killing your boner forever, OS, the organized swinging scene âleans right,â as pollster Charlie Cook would put it if Charlie Cook polled swingers. Easily half of the couples I met at a big swingers convention I attended in Las Vegas told me they were Republicans. One manâa swinger from Texasâtold me he was a âtraditional valuesâ type of guy and thatâs why he opposed same-sex marriage. Fun fact: His wife was off fucking someone elseâs husband while we were chitchatting in the hotel bar. Good times.
Iâm a happily married 35-year-old mom. I have a loving and devoted husband. Recently, I started a job to get out of the house more and interact with more people. Well, it turns out my new boss is a real hottie. I have a crush on him and often find myself fantasizing about him. While I know these feelings can be normal, I tend to fixate/obsess. Iâm basically looking for advice on how to move past this crush or maybe find a more productive outlet.
Newbie Fantasizing
Hereâs a more productive outlet: Turn out the lights, climb on top of your husband, get him hard, then sink your pussy down on his cock and ride him while you fantasize about your boss. (Perhaps this is better described as a more productive inlet?) Bonus points if you and your husband are both secure enough in your marriage and cognizant enough of reality to regard crushes on others as normal and, so long as they remain crushes, not a threat to your marriage or commitment. Because then you can talk dirty with your husband about your bossâhe can even pretend to be your bossâwhile you ride your husbandâs cock.
The other night while my wife and I were watching porn and masturbating together, I suggested we masturbate in front of DirtyRoulette. I briefly explained what the site is about. She asked me if thatâs what I doâif I get on DR when I masturbate. I replied yes, sometimesâand she was so taken aback, she ended our masturbation session to process it. Weâre fine now, but do you think this is âcheatingâ?
Dirty Rouletting
I donât think itâs cheating, DR, but you arenât married to me. In other words, if your wife regards you masturbating with strangers on the internet as cheating, then itâs cheating. There are, of course, some people out there who regard too many things as cheatingâfantasizing about others, looking at porn, even non-webcam-or-porn-enhanced masturbation. People who think this way usually regard cheating as unforgivable and, consequently, their relationships are doomed to failure.
Iâm a gay woman in an open marriage. I have met some women I am interested in who are bi and have husbands or male lovers. While Iâm into being with these women, I have a concern. I know that sperm canât live outside the body very long, but it can still be alive and kicking inside a woman for several days. If a woman fucks a man, and hours or days later, I fuck that woman with fingers or toys that are later inside of me, can I accidentally get pregnant?
Actively Looking
No.
Iâm deep in the grips of a run-of-the-mill midlife crisis. My marriage is in a slump, and Iâve been sexless longer than at any time since I was a teenager. My wife has granted me the DADT âhall pass,â but I have no idea how to go about using it. My life is work, children, activities related to the children, and a few solo hobbies to keep myself fit and sane. I rarely meet new people, except at work, and I canât start a relationship with anyone I meet there. In fact, my career means I am subject to a fair amount of social scrutiny and discretion is paramount. Do you have any suggestions?
Hall Passing
Remember Ashley Madison? The hookup site for married people looking for affair partners? The site that did a terrible job of protecting its user data? The site that got hacked? A hack that outed millions of adulterers and ruined lives? According to a story at the Outline, Ashley Madison is back, baby, and lots of womenâreal women, not the bots that plagued the site pre-hackâare using it. âOnce the dust had settled and other scandals entered the headlines, many people largely forgot about Ashley Madison,â Stephanie Russell-Kraft reports. âThis might explain why Ashley Madisonâs user numbers have shot up in recent years.â
Any etiquette tips or best practices for introducing my husband to my boyfriend?
Poly Processing
Keep it casual and keep it brief, PP. A quick drink before you and your husband head to a sold-out show you have only two tickets for. If your husband has an unexpectedly emotional reaction to meeting your boyfriend in the fleshâif it dredges up jealousy issuesâyou wonât be putting him in a situation where he has to bottle that up for hours or, worse yet, for a weekend.
Hey, Dan, you missed an opportunity in your response to Afraid To Bleed. She wrote that she bleeds whenever she has sex, and she was concerned about her partnerâs aversion to blood, which you did address. But women should not bleed after vaginal intercourse. There are many reasons why they mightâso it needs to be investigated. Please encourage ATB to visit a doctor.
Concerned Reader
Big oversight on my part, thank you for writing in!