Iâm a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for meâspecifically, submissive guys into face-sitting. Iâm submissive myself, and face-sitting is not a turn-on for me. But the vast majority of men who hit on me have this fetish. I think itâs a size-related issueâa my-size-related issue. Iâm a full-figured/curvy woman with a big butt. Granted, itâs a fabulous butt, but my butt sends the wrong signals, apparently. Iâve tried several times to word my FetLife and other dating profiles so that Iâll attract dominant men, but the messages from submissive wannabe face-sittees pour in. Dating when youâre not thin is hard enough. Help, please.
Baby Got Back
Youâve worded your dating profiles to attract Doms, BGB, but it doesnât sound like youâve worded your profiles to repelâand crush the hopes ofâsubmissive wannabe face-sittees. Letâs fix that: âI get a lot of messages from submissive guys into...
Iâm a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for meâspecifically, submissive guys into face-sitting. Iâm submissive myself, and face-sitting is not a turn-on for me. But the vast majority of men who hit on me have this fetish. I think itâs a size-related issueâa my-size-related issue. Iâm a full-figured/curvy woman with a big butt. Granted, itâs a fabulous butt, but my butt sends the wrong signals, apparently. Iâve tried several times to word my FetLife and other dating profiles so that Iâll attract dominant men, but the messages from submissive wannabe face-sittees pour in. Dating when youâre not thin is hard enough. Help, please.
Baby Got Back
Youâve worded your dating profiles to attract Doms, BGB, but it doesnât sound like youâve worded your profiles to repelâand crush the hopes ofâsubmissive wannabe face-sittees. Letâs fix that: âI get a lot of messages from submissive guys into face-sitting. Iâve got a great butt, I realize, but Iâm a sub, Iâm not into face-sitting, and I only want to hear from Dom guys.â Some submissive guys will message you anywayâguys who will be letting you know they have a hard time taking no for an answer, BGB, so not guys youâd ever want to meet up with IRL. Delete their messages and block their profiles.
While having sex one night with my girlfriend, I pulled out a vibrator for the first time. She asked whether I (a guy) had used it with a previous partner (another woman). I conceded that I had. She refused to let me use it on her on the grounds that it had already been inside someone else. I pointed out that since I am not a virgin, her objection did not seem principled: My penis has been in someone else and she lets me put that in her. Nevertheless, she remained adamant. Do you think she was being reasonable?
Very Interested Boyfriend Enquires
I do not, VIBE, but since you donât want to stick your old vibrator in meâpresumablyâwhat I think is irrelevant. When it comes to who gets to stick what in our bodies, weâre allowed to be arbitrary, inconsistent, capricious, and even illogical. Thatâs why âBut my dick has been in other women and you let me stick that in you!â isnât quite the slam-dunk argument you think it is. So toss that old vibrator and get yourself a new oneâbut save the packaging so you can pass it off as new with your next girlfriend.
My cousin was a victim of revenge porn. A bitter ex-boyfriend of his sent several videos theyâd made to everyone on my cousinâs contact list, including me. Iâm a straight woman who prefers gay male porn, and my cousin and his ex are beautiful menâtheyâre both dancersâand I couldnât help myself: I watched the videos, more than once, before deleting them. So how bad a person am I?
Sick And Wrong
Youâre a better person than the asshole ex who sent those videos to everyone your poor cousin knows, SAW, but a worse person than those who deleted the videos without wanking over them first.
Your life is a monstrous affront to God, and your lifeâs work, your ridiculous âadviceâ column, encourages people to act on their worst impulses. Advice column? Take the âDâ away! You write A VICE column! I was involved in the gay life once, Mr. Savage, but the love of Jesus delivered me from homosexual sin. Embrace Christ, and you too can be delivered. I pray for you every day. Someone has to.
Christ Even Saves Savages
P.S. I have read what youâve written about your mother, who you claim to have loved. Your mother died relatively young. Iâm not suggesting God punished you by cutting your motherâs life short. No, your mother died of shame.
You pray for me, CESS, and Iâll gay for youâbecause all the delicious dicks you left behind when Jesus raptured you out of homosexual sin arenât gonna suck themselves, are they?
P.S. âJesus is love,â my Catholic mother liked to say. If she was right, CESS, he surely finds the things going into my mouth less offensive than the shit coming out of yours.
Iâve been toying with the idea of having a sub provide domestic services, but all the potential subs Iâve met with havenât seemed like a good fit for various reasons. Last night, I had a first meeting with a man who is a good fit on paper but who turned out to be an obnoxious asshole in personâa misogynistic, mansplaining frat-boy type. Can someone be too much of a dick for you to let them do your laundry?
Sub Is Subhuman
If you wouldnât be in a vanilla relationship with someone, SIS, why would you want to be in a D/s relationship with them?
Iâve been in a lesbian relationship for about two years. Recently, I was listening to your podcast, and you were talking about the Big/little kink. I remember thinking my girlfriend could be into that. Today, my girlfriend texted this to me: âI want you to hold me like a child, rock me to sleep, and tuck me in and kiss my forehead.â I almost asked her right then if she was into Big/little play, but then I realized that Iâm not sure what I would do if she said yes. If she came to me and said, âHey, Iâm into this stuff!â I would consider it. But I am not into this stuffânot independentlyâor at least I donât think so. My question is this: If you suspect your partner is into something that youâre not into, should you leave it alone? I feel like maybe the GGG thing to do is to ask her and offer to explore it if she says yes.
Wanna Be GGG
Are you sure youâre not curious about Big/little play, AKA age play? Because it sounds like you might be. If you are, donât project your interests/kinks onto your girlfriend. Just ask her if she might be interested. If you arenât into Big/little play but think she might be, the same advice applies: Just ask her.
My boyfriend of three years has not left his wife for me, even though he says he will someday. He doesnât want to hurt her. He feels a duty to her. But he loves me more and swears he will leave her someday. In the meantime, we carve out half an hour a week for sex and itâs super hot. Two questions (and please answer honestly): Heâs not going to leave her, is he? And Iâm a clichĂ©, arenât I?
Donât Understand Men
No, he isnât. And yes, you are. DTMFA.