Iâm a 33-year-old woman in a relationship with a 43-year-old man. My boyfriendâs fantasy is to have a threesome with another man. He enjoys watching me have sex with other men and then intermittently fucking me. But he mostly likes to watch me get fucked. For a long time, my boyfriend would send nudes or videos of him fucking me to men we met on dating apps. We would talk dirty about it during sex. Recently, we met up with a man for the first time. I donât think it went well.
My boyfriend and I have had conversations about my fear of contracting an STI. So before the threesome started, I explained to my boyfriend and the other guy that condoms were required. They both agreed. This guy was really nervous and when he put a condom on, he went flaccid. He would try to fuck me with his...
Iâm a 33-year-old woman in a relationship with a 43-year-old man. My boyfriendâs fantasy is to have a threesome with another man. He enjoys watching me have sex with other men and then intermittently fucking me. But he mostly likes to watch me get fucked. For a long time, my boyfriend would send nudes or videos of him fucking me to men we met on dating apps. We would talk dirty about it during sex. Recently, we met up with a man for the first time. I donât think it went well.
My boyfriend and I have had conversations about my fear of contracting an STI. So before the threesome started, I explained to my boyfriend and the other guy that condoms were required. They both agreed. This guy was really nervous and when he put a condom on, he went flaccid. He would try to fuck me with his flaccid, condom-covered penis, but it just didnât work. He would take the condom off, jerk off, get semi-hard, put a condom back on, go completely soft again. Even when I sucked the guyâs dick: nothing. (He actually told me to stop trying!) So my boyfriend, who was observing and jerking off, suggested we forget the condoms in the hopes this guy could stay hard. I said no and restated my boundary. The guy still couldnât get it up, hopped out of bed, and started getting dressed. My boyfriend offered to let the guy cream pie me if he would stay. I said fuck no and the guy left. He didnât even say bye.
I donât know why the guy couldnât get hard. But I certainly donât think my boundary should be compromised because a stranger canât get it up. My boyfriend keeps suggesting we meet up with this guy again so he can âget closure.â He really wants to watch this guy at least come on me. My boyfriend and this guy have since texted about him fucking me again. Iâm all for being GGG, but... what the fuck?
I thought this guy was kind of an asshole. My boyfriend was definitely an asshole. My questions are: If Iâm uncomfortable during a threesome, how do I politely call it off? I donât want to embarrass anyone, but this went on for two hours and the guy never got it up. How do I terminate a threesome without sounding like a bitch?
Threesome Obviously Dried Up My Pussy
To politely call off a threesome, TODUMP, all you gotta say is, âHey, this isnât working for meâletâs take a rain check.â Say it while pulling up your pants and use your âfinal answerâ voice.
And the ârain checkâ thing doesnât have to be sincere. It can be, of course, if youâre interested in trying again sometime, but it doesnât have to be. The ârain checkâ thing is mostly a nice, polite, face-saving, ego-sparing way to ease someone out of your pants/bed/playroom/apartment/whatever. And if anyone starts arguing with youâif your third or your primary partner starts arguing with youâdonât worry about being polite, TODUMP. Go ahead and be a bitch: âThis is over. You/they need to go. Rain check rescinded, asshole/assholes.â
And while weâre on the subject of terminating things with assholes, TODUMP, you need dump your incredibly shitty fucking boyfriend immediatelyâand thereâs no need to be polite about it. Fuck him. Your boyfriend tried to coerce you into having sex without condoms when he knew you didnât want to. You consented to having a threesome on the condition that condoms be used. Attempting to reopen negotiations about your stated boundaries once the threesome was underway was a violation of your consent. And your boyfriend knew you wouldnât want to embarrass anyone and maliciously attempted to weaponize your consideration for other peopleâs feelings against you! Canât you see that? He was hoping you wouldnât embarrass him by refusing to have sex without condoms after he âofferedâ to let this guy cream pie you (come inside you) to get him to stay! He was hoping youâd rather risk an STI than risk embarrassing or contradicting him! And on top of that, he spoke to this guy like it was up to himâup to themâwhat happened next, like you were a Fleshlight or tube sock or something!Â
And now your asshole boyfriend is pressuring you to get back together with a guy who couldnât get it up with a condom on when he knows you donât want to have sex without condoms? A guy who couldnât be bothered to say goodbye after you sucked his fucking dick? And your boyfriend is claiming you owe him (or them) closure?Â
WTF?
This relationship should have been over the moment your boyfriend made it clear some strangerâs dick was more important to him than your health, safety, and boundaries. In that momentâthat moment he attempted to barter away your boundariesâhe proved he canât be trusted and you arenât safe with him, TODUMP, alone or with a third.
DTMFA.
This is every womanâs nightmare scenario when it comes to cuckolding or hotwifingâthat her boyfriend or husband will pressure her to do things she doesnât want to do during a sexual encounter with another man. Guys like your boyfriend not only donât deserve to have GGG girlfriends or their fantasies fulfilled, they ruin things for other wannabe cucks, stags, and hot husbands. He not only deserves to be alone forever, TODUMP, he deserves to be kicked in the balls forever.
One of my closest friends kissed me while very drunk, told his female partner, and now heâs not allowed to see me anymore, even in group settings. (I am also female.) I understand that cutting off contact is the universally recommended first step after someone cheats, but considering how close we are as friends, it is heartbreaking to think I might lose him over this one incident. We are former coworkers and weâve been close friends and regular drinking buddies for 12 years. Nothing has EVER happened between us before this one very drunk night. We ended up making out on the sidewalk outside of a bar and exchanged a few semi-dirty text messages later that night, whichâunfortunately for all of usâhis partner saw. He thinks we just need to be patient and one day weâll be able to pick up our friendship where we left off. And while I know he needs to prioritize his partner now, Iâm scared that we actually wonât be able to stay friends after this. Do I just swallow my sadness about the likelihood of losing a best friend over a relatively minor infidelity? Or is there anything I can do to help the situation? FWIW: Iâm in a happy open marriage and have never once tried to initiate anything with him. Iâve never been attracted to him before and wouldnât want anything to happen between us again, anyway, even if the kiss was hot. Complicating matters, my friend wanted to re-raise the possibility of opening up his relationship with his partner, which he insists has nothing to do with me.
Friend With No BenefitsÂ
Hmm... I have a hunch you were something of a sore subject before this incident, FWNB, however isolated. If the text messages your friendâs partner saw confirmed fears sheâd already been told were irrational, your exile is likely to last as long as their relationship does. But take heart: if your friend decides to reopen discussions about opening up their relationship in the wake of this incident, your friend will likely be single again soon. If they do manage to stay together, FWNB, the only way to get back into her good gracesâand back in your friendâs lifeâis to gracefully accept your exile. (Going to her and saying, âIt only happened because we were so drunk!â isnât quite the slam-dunk you think it is, seeing as you and her boyfriend are drinking buddies.) Itâs a paradox, I realize, but if she sees that her boyfriend is willing to cut off all contact with you to set her mind at ease, FWNB, she may be willing to give your friendship her blessing down the road.