Iām a gay man and Iāve recently started seeing a guy in an open relationship. Heās intelligent, funny, and sexy. He told me early on that his partner is a Dom top, into kink (leather, latex, etc.), that his partner has caged boys, and so on. Moreover, with his partner heās a ābratty sub,ā meaning he engages in erotic disobedience and defiance. I was indifferent to this initially, but I have begun to become aware of his partner's presence in a way I donāt like, even though Iāve never met the guy. I also find myself feeling resentful and jealous of the idea of him being told what to do, held back, or controlled. (The sex we have is hot, intimate, and intense, as well as completely vanilla.) I know his relationship with his partner is none of my business, but if he truly is a bratty sub, and his...
Neither Brat Nor Tamer
Letās call the guy youāre hooking up with āBratā and call his fiancĆ© āDom.ā Worst-case scenario, NBNT, Brat goes home and tells Dom everything youāve been doing together, presumably in a very bratty way, and then Dom punishes Brat for being a slutty brat. If thatās what theyāre doingāand we donāt know if thatās what theyāre doingāthen, yeah, I guess the vanilla sex youāre having with Brat is being āincorporatedā into the erotic power-exchange games Brat and Dom play together. You could ask Brat not to tell Dom anything about the time he spends with you, NBNT, but you ultimately canāt control what Brat does or says when heās alone with Domā¦ and them telling each other everything might be a condition of their open relationshipā¦ and you attempting to control what Brat says to Dom when theyāre alone while at the same time objecting to the control Dom has over Brat is a little hypocritical.
Zooming out for a second...
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